Thursday, December 31, 2009

So Long 2009...

It's the end of the decade and for those faithful followers of me for the last 5 years (going allll the way back to my friendster blogging days, I'll catch you on the flip side.

This was a tumultuous year for me. Between traveling and moving and just being around, I haven't stayed in the same city for more than 3 weeks at a time. I think I'm staying put for a bit and am excited at the prospect of not being a vagabond (for a little bit at least). It was also a sad year for pets for the fam. First Zelda in February, then Peach in May and just last week we lost our oldest soldier, Ioz. He was the first pet our family had, we got him as a kitten on Christmas back in 97, and though he grew increasingly cantankerous in his old age, he was still and will always be our favorite.

Everyone be safe, have fun and get ridiculous. 2010 is going to be awesome.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, December 21, 2009

Health Care Reform: Part II

As many of you have probably heard the new health care plan has passed through the senate and now is one Christmas Eve senate vote away from passing. As predicted, it was passed 60-40 right down party lines which makes me wonder how anything meaningful ever gets through when there isn't a filibuster-proof majority. You would think that universal health care is something that everyone in the country would want, but for some reason it's not.

If things follow through and the bill is passed, hopefully it will provide some sort of spark to the Obama administration which has been slowly losing its once massive public support. There are many things I'd like to see in this country that improve the quality of life for everyone from the environment to cheaper food that doesn't come from McDonalds but health care is one of those now or never issues. I'm personally looking forward to the proposed health care because hopefully I can afford it. As it turns out, I'm living below the poverty line in terms of income. My parents are too worried about me to let me be without health care so they happily pay for an individual plan for me, but I'd rather pay for myself and I'm hoping the plan allows people like me the opportunity to afford it. It's a system that contingent on people like me buying into it.

Majority leader Harry Reid said, "This is not about politics. This is not about polling. It’s about people. It’s about life and death in America. It’s about human suffering, and given the chance to relieve this suffering, we must. Citizens in each of our states have written to tell us they’re broke because of our broken health care system."

It's not a perfect bill. I think the one glaring mistake is any lack of tort reform. This needs to be addressed. Democrats are so hell bent on 'giving back to the little guy' that they don't take into account anyone else and refuse to believe that the little guy has a flame thrower in his hands. Essentially the issue is this: doctors get sued too much and as a result when a patient comes in complaining of one obvious symptom, they are forced to perform many meaningless tests to rule out anything else so they don't get sued. These tests make hospital bills go up, which make insurance bills go up which makes the patients bills go up. It needs to be stopped.

Anyway, we'll see what happens. If anyone has a link to the bill, I'd like to glance through it.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Friday, December 18, 2009


Why am I blogging at 4 in the morning? I just got home from a midnight screening of James Cameron's new movie Avatar and my mind is racing. I know I come home from movies a lot and launch into ramblings full of high flying superlatives, but I sh*t you not, this was the greatest movie going experience of my entire life. I honestly mean it. If you are planning on seeing this movie, I implore you to see it in IMAX 3-D. It was the first one I've seen in this format and I'm glad I saved it for this. James Cameron had a vision and he couldn't capture it with what was available so he literally had to invent the technology.

I was blown away. After spending the first few minutes getting used to the 3-D I was peeing my pants. I don't ever want to see another movie on a regular screen again. For starters the screen was 6 stories high and Cameron used every inch of it and filled it with the most visually stunning experience I have ever had. I went in worried about the hype, worried the story would be weak, worried I would hate the look of the movie and left with my jaw dropped. I can't stop thinking about it.

Please please please, if you have an IMAX near you, wait and see it there even if you can't get tickets for two weeks. It's worth the extra money. I promise you have never yet and will never see anything like this again for a very long time. If you don't have an IMAX theater near you or weren't planning on seeing it, stop being crazy and get to a theater as soon as you can.

I'm out. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

NajMe Tender...

My fellow ukulele lover, Kingsford, sent me a youtube link to this chick who covered Poker Face. After loving that song and then watching every one of her other videos, 'NajMe Tender' is my new favorite person. I am officially inviting her to bring her uke and come hang out with me in the clubhouse with Baloo and the gang. She's the exception to the rule that hipsters are the new douchebags.

If you don't love this, there's something wrong with you. Check out the rest of her vids, they're all very good. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - robin hood trailer finally out! so excited

Monday, December 14, 2009

Lions and Tigers and Bears...

OMFG. This is my new favorite thing and officially the cutest/coolest thing I've seen.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

A lion a tiger and a bear all living together in a clubhouse?!?! This is my dream only the clubhouse is in my backyard and they are also friends with me and when I get tired Baloo lets me ride on his back. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - facebook the clubhouse here

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Random Saturday Thoughts...

Rip Hamilton finally came back after missing 6 weeks and 21 games with a sprained right ankle. The Pistons just won their fifth straight and we're now sitting at 6th in the East (this is with a 7 game losing streak and not having 2 starters for almost the entire season). Things are looking up in Piston-land.

I love lazy Saturdays like today. Wake up late, watch 8 episodes of The West Wing, clean, cook and pretty much do nothing while cold rain comes down outside. I had a few options of things to do tonight but after a 3 hour afternoon 'nap' I felt myself not wanting to go out. I was faced with a predicament that often comes up on these lazy days: continue to be lazy, not shower and go to bed or muster up some energy, throw on some R Kelly and take a shower. Well during the course of dinner on the couch (I have no dining table nor do I have room for a table so all meals are eaten on the couch) I spilled some bbq sauce on my sweatpants. I didn't know whether to put on a clean pair of sweatpants and call it a night or shower and be a person. I decided to let my ipod choose for me. I hit shuffle and the first song that came on was "Do You Remember" by my boy Jay Sean (the only Indian ever to break into current American pop music) and Lil' John and Sean Paul. Needless to say I showered and I'm about to head out the door.

Staple items should be priced the same at any store. Milk, eggs, beer, bread - things like this need to be the same price across the board in a city. I don't want to have to go to a different store for each of these items yet for some reason, I can find every one of these specific items cheaper depending on the store. That's not right. I hate overpaying for anything let alone eggs that go bad much sooner than you would think (according to Mark Twain you can eat them like 2 months after they go bad so word of advice, don't eat eggs at her house).

Anyway, enough rambling. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

What Am I Doing?...

A recurring question that keeps being thrown at me is, "what are you doing?" It's more of a life question than anything. As in, "what direction are you headed in your life?" I usually respond that nothing has changed since the last time you asked and it's true, not much has changed just because I've changed addresses. I've had a few realizations one of the most important being today. I was at an interview for a marketing company (actually this was my second interview with them - my fate to be decided tomorrow) and I had sort of an epiphany. I guess not so much an epiphany as a confirmation of something I already know: I don't want to do sales. During my preliminary interview yesterday I was asked why I'm shifting my direction after studying English then going to film school and now trying to do sales. Why was I suddenly changing my field. I came up with some solid crap to shovel at him and I guess it was good enough to land a second interview today, but I wasn't ready for that question.

I'm not changing direction. In fact my direction couldn't be more singularly focused on one aspect of film, which is writing (however poorly that may be). So I'm sitting there today in what was part interview part training and all I could think of was that classic scene in Say Anything where Lloyd Dobbler (John Cusack) is asked by the dad from Fraiser what he wanted to do with his life and he responds, "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that." That's pretty much exactly how I feel. I need a full time job to be a person but really, if it's not something that interests me or something that I believe in or something temporary like working in a restaurant, I'm gonna wanna kill myself. Granted it might have to happen in the short term, but no way I can do it in the long term. Lloyd Dobbler goes on to say that he wants to try and start a career in the emerging sport of Kickboxing, and while I don't necessarily want to do the same thing, I'm forging a path down a similarly career limited street.

I also came across a passage in Steve Martin's book Born Standing Up, that also illustrates my thoughts as I make a move at this age and state of career in my life, "I was 28 years old when a bleak thought occurred to me: "What if nothing happens?" I had never really imagined success; I was just trying to be a performer, but I could not see myself playing dreary nightclubs into my thirties, forties and fifties. I would have struggled composing a real world resume, as my abilities were at best vague and at worst unusable. I decided to give it until I was thirty, and then I would figure out something else to do." This is actually almost verbatim (minus the performing in nightclubs aspect) what I said before I moved out here.

So next time you ask what I'm doing, instead ask my how my screenplays are going or how my temporary job is or what I'm working on now - but as far as what I'm doing: it's the same. To quote Beautiful Girls, "nothing changes 'round here but the seasons."

"I don't know, I can't really figure it all out tonight, sir. I'm Just kind of hangin' with your daughter." Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - as fate would have it, the youtube gods have once again provided visual supposrt for a quote.

More Tiger...

About a minute after I woke up this morning I get a text from a friend (heretofore known as Kingsford) that said "Tiger killed his mother-in-law." Being half asleep still, my first thought was it was a lie followed by genuine confusion and acceptance. My internet wasn't working for a few minutes so I briefly ran through a scenario in my head where an enraged Tiger murdered Elin's mom, presumably after another fight and was then subsequently arrested where he'd no doubt by now be in a jail cell surrounded by thousands of reporters and the media feeding frenzy would continue for years. I texted Kingsford back asking if he was serious and he said no and it just occurred to me that this is an easy prank to pull on me on April Fools day. Someone from Tiger's house did go to the hospital, but it wasn't Elin and they aren't dead.

But now that we're on the subject of Tiger once again, I need to talk about the numerous chicks that are coming out of the woodwork claiming affairs. First of all, reports that claim Tiger offered his wife $5 million to whether the storm and another $80 million if she stays with him through 2016 seem so insane that I actually believe it. What's $80 mil when you've got a billion plus. Anyway, as far as the new women going (I think the total number of named women is 7) they seem to be getting better looking, but I swear with each new name Tiger further denigrates any chances he had at redeeming himself. While I don't believe all of them, I assume most of them are true because if I've learned anything about Tiger, it's that he can't be trusted. His transgressions are clearly not transgressions at all and just evidence that he's a sh*tty person. He's just not a good guy and there are rumors that he texted one chick after all this broke out saying he wanted to find a way to try and see her and while I find it hard to believe that he's that stupid, after hearing the desperation in his voicemail and the calm demeanor behind it as though it was okay to be this devious, I don't put anything past him.

As of now I'm still rooting for him on the golf course, he has a talent that we may never see again in our lifetime and I'm not gonna miss out on that because he likes to sleep around, he just shouldn't be married. It's hard to say how he'll be received. For all I know, this may be completely behind him in a few months, only time will tell.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - this SNL skit was hilarious

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Cat Puppy...

This might be the cutest cat ever. I might be late to this, but I just saw it and it's amazing.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, December 03, 2009

More on Tiger...

Disclaimer for this post: I do not condone cheating, nor do I condone any 'transgressions' Tiger may have had. That said, I need to be a guy for a second and talk about something else that is troubling. I need to call him out on something that most guys call each other out on. From time to time, a friend will hook up with someone they shouldn't. I don't mean an ex or a b*tch. I mean an uggo. A fatty. Someone gross. Call is callous or superficial or call us assh*les, but I'm sure girls do it too. My question is this: Why are these girls Tiger is linked with so ugly? I mean, dude's a billionaire - a BILLIONAIRE - why is he having 31 month affairs (which is more of a relationship on the side than an affair) with nasty chicks from Tool Academy. Here are pictures of the 3 girls that he's been linked to:

These girls all look like, for lack of a better word, skanks. I mean, these are chicks that would be suspect for my boys to hook up with. But Tiger is a professional athlete, and the worlds most famous one at that. R Kelly gets way better looking chicks and he's a known pedophile and just a millionaire. Tiger is a "good guy" a billionaire and I think a pretty good looking guy. Granted he seems kind of socially inept and slightly awkward around girls I would imagine, but who cares - most girls who only care about money will go up and talk to him. Why's he bangin' uggos? It's not right. That's almost equally as disappointing as him cheating in the first place. Don't cheat dude, but if you are so weak and immature that you have to, go big. Victoria Secret Angel or SI: Swimsuit cover model, or the Perfect 10 chick from Entourage. Hell, open up a Maxim or FHM and flip to a random page and point and you can do better. Not these skeet skeets.

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - I just did a quick google search for 'hottest girl ever' and Olga Kurylenko, from Quantum of Solace popped up. Why not her Tiger? Why couldn't you just google 'hot chicks' and call them?

Wednesday, December 02, 2009


Update in Tiger news. You can listen to his alleged voicemail that he left for that chick here. It sounds like him and I'm pretty sure it is. He's going through an awful lot to cover up which leads me to believe there are more women and that he's been doing this for a long long time. He should have deleted her number and never called her again. Some people never learn.

He's also admitted to 'transgressions' and said he's working to correct them. Here's how you correct it: stop sleeping with other people. Why did he get married in the first place if he wanted to sleep around? He got married young and he's an actual billionaire. Who does that?

Anyway, in light of this news I'm not getting rid of my link to his blog, but I will definitely look at him differently. He's still my boy, but he's like that friend who keeps f*cking up and all you can do is shake your head and say, "come on, dude."


It's December? That happened quickly. In 29 days, it'll be 2010. The older we get the faster the years go by. Remember when summer used to fly by even though it was 3 months without school? Now everything just flies by. November just started. Then I moved, then it was December. Life is crazy. And in light of that I'd like to discuss a couple of things related to nothing in particular - after all if time is short, why not waste it?

First, something close to my heart: Tiger Woods. Many of you know my insane fascination with Tiger. I've been a huge fan of his since way way back when. Other Guy and I used to get National Geographic Junior when we were little and I remember reading an article about him when he was only like 10 and we thought he was so cool. Then we were fans of his before he was a pro and obviously over the years we've become enamored with pretty much anything he does. Well, he's finally f*cked up. I'm all for celebrating all that is Tiger, but he's married and has two kids and he should know better than cheating on his wife. I've got no doubt he did it. I just wonder how it's going to play out. You know what I love about life - no matter how rich you are and how famous and loved you are, you still have to be afraid of a woman scorned. I mean seriously. She f*cked him up. The speculation is that she found out about a lover, hit him in the face and to retreat he got in his car, already groggy from sleeping pills, and got into the accident. Listen guy, don't cross your chick man. I don't care if you have a billion dollars and neither does she. Tiger, women are crazy, just read my blog.

In other non-related news, there's good news and bad news in the biz these days. The bad news is that Diane Sawyer is taking over for Charles Gibson on the ABC news. I myself am a Brian Williams fan, but when he's out sick I like to watch Charles Gibson. Not anymore I guess. Also bad is news that the third and final twilight may be split into two movies, much like the final Harry Potter. This is distressing because I hate this bullsh*t series and all the hoopla that is surrounding it. I can't read any of my usual movie news because even the super nerdy sites are inundated with Twilight fever. I can't take it. The good news is that Paul Greengrass is not directing the 4th Bourne movie. This is incredible news. I love Matt Damon. But Paul Greengrass is a horrible director who took what was a great movie in the Bourne Identity the Doug Liman directed, did a piss poor copy of it in Supremecy and then made an absolutely horrifically terrible movie in Ultimatum. I might actually see the 4th one now...

Anyway, there are no less than 10 movies I want to see in the theaters and I need to see them asap before the holiday releases come out. It's a tough life but someone has to do it. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - I'm thinking of getting two turtles. Does anyone with experience owning/caring for turtles have any thoughts on the matter? Let me know.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

A Weekend of Excess...

It's 11pm (EST) on Sunday and I'm still full. Not so much from Thanksgiving, just an accumulation of food that kept getting added to a stomach that hasn't been hungry in 5 days - a 5 days in which the most exercise I got was the endless hours playing Halo with Other Guy. Suffice to say it was a fabulous Thanksgiving holiday, slightly marred only by the fact that the Lions once again got trounced on national TV. It's one thing to get dismantled in local markets, but to have it happen in front of a national audience that already expects it makes it sort of hard to swallow, but once this ship rights itself and Stafford and Megatron are the greatest QB/Receiving duo in the league, things will change.

We're just a few days away from December now and I gotta ask, where's the snow? I love the fall, and this weather can't be beat, but if it's not gonna be warm enough for golf, and much too cold for laying out, I think I'd like a little snow. Okay, maybe hold off for a couple more weeks...

Back to the grind tomorrow. Not sure what grind that is, but back to the grind of looking for a grind to get into. Here's my current dilemma - I have a lot of things I'd like to get started in Chicago but as I have no job, I can't very well start scheduling weekly things (volunteering, piano lessons etc.) if I don't have a work schedule. So do I a) wait til I get a job, or b) do whatever I want and figure the rest out as I go? I'm sticking with 'b' for now as that's generally how I roll and why fix it if it ain't broke? Also Plan B is always superior to Plan A because if the latter is so great, why would you come up with the former?

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Despite none of you assh*les giving me any advice on how to get rid of my cold, somehow the Thanksgiving gods were looking down on me last night. I no longer have a fever and feel pretty good. It's a Thanksgiving Miracle. I'm hungry and it's only 10 - I'm going to eat my weight in turkey, and I owe it all to myself for taking medicine, drinking an insane amount of fluids and not doing anything more strenuous than sitting down for two days. I love life.

This is one of my favorite TWW Thanksgiving moments:

Happy Thanksgiving kids. I hope your turkey day is as wonderful as mine. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Miracle...

As many of you know, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's Christmas only without all the commercialization. Family and friends get together and enjoy each others company and don't need to get anyone gifts or anything. As an added bonus the Lions play what is usually their only nationally televised game of the year (though it was better ten years ago when we actually used to win).

This year however, I need a Thanksgiving Miracle. I woke up yesterday with a fever, I had a cough and was achy. I decided to stay in, not go anywhere, take meds, eat soup and watch almost all of season 4 of The West Wing, and by the end of the day my fever had dropped from 101 to 99.9. I figured I'd wake up today and I'd feel great. Unfortunately, I don't. I still feel the same. I slept in as much as I could and my temperature this morning was still 100. I don't really care how, but I need to get rid of this. If I can't shake this thing I'm afraid it's going to ruin tomorrow for me. I don't have much of an appetite and that's a problem.

So if anyone has any quick fix recommendations on getting rid of a cold or a fever, please let me know asap. I can't be sick tomorrow. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Furniture Day...

Yesterday, while driving to apply for this job, I passed what I now refer to as "the furniture district." It was sort of like furniture heaven. In the span of two blocks there were approximately 9 stores all selling furniture with bright neon green and orange signs that screamed, "Half-off," or "3-Piece sets starting at $199!" I knew the day had arrived when I'd finally find some cheap seats to put in my new digs.

So after buying a bed (that was indeed half off) a love seat and matching chair, I left the store feeling great - until I was almost home and realized I forgot to buy a dresser. Oh well, I'll take care of that some other time. My new stuff arrives today but before it does, I'd like to reflect on two weeks on an air mattress. No good. I'm telling you. No. Good. I can't think of a worse way to start and end every day for two weeks than on an air mattress (obviously I'm being dramatic - there are clearly worse ways to do this like being homeless, living in Darfur, being a Celtics fan (ya burnt)). If you ever move into a new place and are debating about bringing your camping chairs until you find furniture, let the chairs win the debate. Having my air mattress be the only place I could sit in my apartment was no fun. Mark Twain jokingly told me to get a bean bag chair and now, a week after laughing at her immaturity, I very deeply wish I had had one for the last week.

Swami out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, November 16, 2009

Blind Date...

Live blogging from a blind or date...

So I'm sitting in my new favorite tea hang-out (I don't drink coffee but I like the ambiance of a coffee shop) applying to jobs and a guy, who looks about 40 and kind of strange, sat at the table next to me. He didn't have a drink and was just looking around so he was only mildly weird. Then, about 3 minutes ago, he sees a woman and calls her name questioningly. He got up to give her a hug so I assumed it was someone who he knew, and he says how are you. She says good and then they sit down. While he is sitting he says, "it's nice to meet you," and this is when I stopped what I was doing and started spying.

This woman, Uba (from the sound of it), does not speak very good English. She's about the same age as the guy and her hair is slightly frazzled - she might be Russian. She seems nice but is clearly nervous. She keeps mumbling and I can hardly hear her even though she is literally 2 feet away from me. This guy is odd, but you can tell he's done this before. He has to repeat himself several times every time he says something and it's getting hilarious. Now he is asking if she is hungry. Haha. She says yes only he can't hear her so he asks again. Oh I guess this is going to be a short post, they are going to go across the street and get dinner. By the way, this dude is wearing a sweatshirt. On a first date. Come on guy. This is clearly not where the magic happens...

These blind daters or internet daters are brave people. There's a scene in The Office (the good one) where Ricky Gervais is doing the internet dating thing and has some hilarious encounters, but mostly extremely awkward conversations. I can't think of any situation where there is more pressure to be awesome. I hope the date goes well but the start was awkward enough to make me want to follow them to dinner go home.

Anyway, if you're one of these brave souls, my hats off to you. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Soul Train...

I had one of the strangest train rides today. I was on the red line heading home after seeing 2012 (save your money and 3 hours of your life - I knew it would be bad but I thought maybe in a good way, but really it was just in a long bad way) and people were dancing. Not just one random person or a group of friends. 5 people in total. Two guys who may have been gay were listening to an iPod and dancing together, two other girls were dancing at the other end and one girl was pretty much listening to her ipod and singing (loud enough for me to hear over my own ipod) and giving her boyfriend a lap dance. No lie. She was doing this in the middle of the train and it was insane. I didn't know what to do, so like everyone else who was normal, I kept glancing back to see if it was really happening.

I'm all for spontaneous dancing, and why shouldn't you be able to dance on a train? But the lap dance girl was a bit much. It's awkward. The other people were having fun. She was having gross.

I'm out. Go big. Dance off.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, November 12, 2009


I've been living here in Chicago for about a week now and I must say, the one thing I completely underestimated was the importance of a chair. Any chair. A place to sit would be so nice now. I'm bumming internet of some guy (and so are about 5 other people that pop up in my local network) and it only works in the living room. The problem with that is that I have no furniture. That's not completely true - I have a bookshelf and a DVD shelf but I have nothing to sit on and nothing to put my computer on if I was sitting. If the internet worked in my bedroom I could be sitting on a somewhat comfortable, but mostly uncomfortable air mattress. So as I type this I'm lying on the floor (hardwood) and spread out like Superman propping my head up with an old blanket I used to pack with because in my infinite wisdom, I also forgot to bring my pillows. It blows.

So to all you lucky assh*les sitting around on chairs, or reading this at work while you rock back and forth on a chair with wheels, consider yourself lucky. Today I'm going to get some furniture. That's my new goal for today. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, November 09, 2009

Monday Two Three...

This format is very easy, so I'm sorry I keep using it instead of the usual digressions and tangents. Also, for the uber bored at work, if you had noticed my frequent blogging, I'm also sorry I took a week off. Without further ado...


Greatest weekend of the year. As usual, my annual golf trip with Other Guy and my brothers from another mothers (usually up north Michigan) was amazing. This year we headed down to Myrtle Beach to experience some southern hospitality and 70 degree weather and chapped lips. I've gotta say, I finally understand people who want to live in warm weather year round. Personally I still love seasons and I still love the midwest, but I can't hate on the warmth or the sun. I've always said that I love all seasons equally but now I think I'm ready to put that silly idealism aside and say that summer is, by far, my favorite season. Everything I love in life is infinitely better in the summer. Don't get carried away though - the only reason I love it so much and appreciate it is because of slow falls, harsh winters and gradual springs. Without these summer would be just another day in LA. So my new resolve is to leave as much as possible and as much as my wallet will allow. A quick trip to LA or a weekend down in Florida is just what I think I need every month or so (or as often as Spirit offers $9 fares) to break up the monotony and get some color in my cheeks.


Many of you know that Weezer is one of my favorite bands of all time. They fluctuate between 1 and 2 so it's safe to say they're tied for number 1 in my heart. Their new album, Raditude, has left me wondering. I like it. I like many songs a lot and some not so much. Years ago after Maladroit came out, I used to yearn for Weezer of old. Well years and years rolled by with no sign of quality lyrics coming from frontman Rivers Cuomo. There were gems that transported me back to 1995 like 'Perfect Situation' off of Make Believe, but I realized that the Weezer that exists now will never be the Weezer I wish they were. I still love them and they're still tied for number 1, but they don't evoke the same sentiment in me that they used to. This album is another in a progression of Weezer albums filled with some radio hits, some ridiculous lyrics and some boring melodies. When I originally heard that they were remaking an old Rivers song, "Can't Stop Partying," I was excited to see what it would sound like. Then I found out that Lil' Wayne was going to be on it. You read that right - Lil' Wayne. While I'm a huge fan of Mrs. Officer and his recent episode of Behind the Music, I'm not a huge fan of his music. It was almost heart breaking that the first artist featured on any Weezer record was such a momentary pop star and not someone that inspired them or someone inspired by them a la Ozma or The Rentals. Whatever. It's a solid album but to be honest, on at least two of the songs, I said to myself, "this sounds like a bad cover of a good All American Rejects song."


It's Comcastic. I don't know if it makes me a nerd or not, but internet is much more important to me than cable tv. I just had comcast come out to install internet (my appointment was between 10-1 and they came at 12:45) and I couldn't be happier. I only watch a few shows and even those I watch on hulu. Now that I have other quality sites I can go to to watch the Pistons and the Lions, I really have no reason to get cable. I mean, I'm gonna try and bootleg it, but it's not worth whatever money they would try and charge me. It's sad that it costs so much though - I'm gonna pay $35 for internet when they are charging other people I know 19. Granted they got digital cable packages but I can't afford that and it irks me that they don't have a discount for people with no furniture who sleep on air mattresses.

Anyways, that's all for now. I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, November 02, 2009

One Two Three...

It's November? I know people say this every year, but this one is really flying by. The older I get, the faster the years go. Just a few things to share with you on this blustery (or as Mark twain would say - 'the wind is blustering') fall day.


I moved to Chicago. That happened fast. Not really. I actually decided I was going to do this back in May. Then August rolled around, followed by September and it wasn't until October came that the ball got rolling and now - 5 months later, I'm a resident of Illinois (although I will never relinquish my Michigan resident status). So far I've spent 2 days there. I moved in Friday, then spent Saturday at Target followed by putting together a bookshelf and putting things away. That was also Halloween which was spent learning a new drinking game called 'fingers' and then proceeding to black out and in the process ditching my Clone Trooper Star Wars costume at a bar and spending the rest of the night in my running shorts and a t-shirt, though I have no idea why. I had to come back to Michigan to give my dad his car back in roughly the same condition he lent it to me. Now I head back and I won't leave the city again for 1 whole day. Then down to SC for a long overdue golf tourney/vacation and then back to the grind next Monday. One of these days I'll be able to settle in...


While getting a haircut the other day, I found myself having a conversation with the lady cutting my hair (I"d call her a stylist but really, at $9.99 she's pretty much a baber). I generally don't like to talk to people while I'm getting my haircut but I had just driven in from new york and hadn't talked to anyone all day so I didn't mind. Anyway after chatting for a bit she mentioned something about the weather in new york. I told her it was generally pretty warm and that the winter's didn't snow very much or get very cold in the city. Then she said, "Oh well maybe that's because of all the emissions from the cabs." I smiled and nodded thinking it probably had more to do with the location of the city, the insulation from the buildings and the fact that they don't get lake effect snow like we do in Michigan but before I could say anything she added, "if you believe in that stuff. I personally think it's silly and not true and they're just trying to scare people." I had no response. I have only come across one other person who 'didn't believe in global warming' but that was Lemon's old roommate's boyfriend and he was an idiot so I just wanted to punch him in the face. But this was a normal person who I didn't know tell me that she doesn't think global warming is a thing. What do you say to someone who thinks that? How do you approach their idiocy without sounding like an ass? I couldn't think of a way and after hearing that didn't say another word until it was time to pay. There's probably a lot of people like her out there and that's a scary thought.


Paranormal Activity. I'm sure many of you have heard the hype. Maybe some of you have even seen it. Personally I don't like horror movies, not because they scare me but because they bore me. Much the same way someone would be bored by chick flicks. They are formulaic and unoriginal and for the most part pretty silly. I can't get scared when I'm sitting there not caring about characters because they can't act, waiting for something to happen that I already know is going to happen. Loud noise. Laughing. Scream. Bad guy. Loud noise. Dead. I get it. The scariest movie of all time is the original Halloween. Jamie Lee Curtis in 1976 was probably the best victim in any horror movie ever. Also there's a scene in The Descent where this chick gets stuck in a crevice in a cave and can't move - it's a claustrophobic's worst nightmare. So I went to see this with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. This worked pretty well I think and despite me kind of hating the guy in it, it had two moments that were genuinely scary. I laughed when Lemon grabbed my arm, but on the reals, sh*t was scary in that scene.

That's all. More soon. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Sorry to keep bombing you with youtube clips, but this one is worth your two and a half minutes. Clint Eastwood's latest sure-to-win-an-Oscar film, Invictus, finally has a trailer and it's got me peeing my pants. I have never seen an Eastwood movie that didn't blow me away and this looks like his best yet (though it will be hard to top Gran Torino).

Last day of packing for me. Home to Michigan tomorrow, then Chicago on Friday. Crazy, I know.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - tfln:
" (607): You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me"

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Only just now starting to get in the spirit of the holiday - this packing is making me not want to do anything. I'm gonna need to find a costume or something. I'm carving pumpkins tonight and I couldn't be more excited. If you aren't in the mood yet, this should help.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, October 26, 2009


I'm packing. I hate it. Moving is the worst. I already dismantled my stereo and left my ipod speakers at my parents house so I have no tunes. Thank god for youtube and hulu - here's a scene from TWW that I love...

-M, p, z & shredder

Friday, October 23, 2009


I'm back in NYC for the next week packing up. Originally I was going to pack up, hire movers and have them deal with going up and down 4 flights of stairs all day, but then I got a price quote and realized that I have no furniture I need to move so I should probably just do it myself. My dad let me borrow his suv, but it's a small one and really can't hold that much which really kind of defeats the purpose of having one. So I'm left to decide what makes the cut and what doesn't. I have an old stereo cabinet thing that my parents have had for longer than I've been alive and has successfully made it through college and to two different nyc apartments, and will most definitely be making the cut to get to Chicago. I also have an end table that is about the same age and will be making the cut. So as of right now, all the furniture I have are those two things and a coffee table and end table that Mark Twain is giving me out of the goodness of her heart and because her mom will kill her if she doesn't get rid of them.

For those of you who have seen my apartments you know that I'm a pack rat. I get things and then keep them and keep them forever and ever. Little things. Knick-knacks. Dumb sh*t that I forget about and only see when it's time to move again. So those things will not be making the cut. In fact, I'm going to get rid of anything I haven't seen or used since I moved into my current apartment. It's going to be hard. Very very hard. But I'm going to do it because it's time to minimize. It's funny how much stuff I have because when it comes down to it, I'm perfectly happy living as a minimalist (as long as I can have my dvds). Anyway, it's going to take me a few days to get rid of things. My old roommate Socrates told me to take a picture of the things I'm throwing away that way I'll still have something to remember them by, just without the clutter of actually having them. This is a pretty good idea. I think for the things I can't justify saving I'll do this and maybe even blog about them so I can have something to refer to in the future and you can understand exactly how ridiculous I really am.

Anyways, that's all for now. Go big or go home. If you need a dvd case or a large wardrobe from ikea, let me know...

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - tfln:
" (630): all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Running The Half...

In case you were wondering what the experience was like (as if my last blog wasn't long enough), here's a short video I made while running.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, October 19, 2009

Running The Half...

Yesterday was the big race day. Finally. This whole thing started as me trying to not die. I have high cholesterol because my genes hate me (although I love my jeans) so I decided I would start to eat better. That may or may not have worked as I didn't re-check my cholesterol, but decided that I would supplement eating healthier with running as well. So it was about mid-April when I started running, just as the weather was getting nice in the city. If you've heard me talk about running before, you know I used to hate it. I couldn't think of anything more boring. So as usual, I would run a mile and call it quits mostly out of boredom but also because I don't think I could run more than a mile and a half. Time went by and I started increasing my distance and by July, I was running around 3 miles, probably 3 times a week.

One day I decided I would keep running and see how far I would get before I actually got tired and it ended up being 6 miles. Naturally I was so excited about my run, the first thing I did was update my facebook status to flaunt to the world what a great runner I had become. This was back in mid-August. Brown Guy saw said update, congratulated me and then told me I should do the half-marathon. At first I was hesitant but after learning his girlfriend, Dragonlady, would also be running it, I immediately jumped at the chance to beat her in something.

So after training for about 3 months and working up my stamina, the big day finally came. I set a goal for 2:10:00 which is about a 10 minute mile average. So I trained at a 10 minute pace and felt very well prepared for the race. So yesterday I woke up at 5, at breakfast, met Brown Guy and Dragonlady at their hotel, then took the requisite pre-run picture and we were off. A picture perfect sunrise over Detroit as we ran across the bridge to Canada was a moment that I hope I never forget. I kept chugging along and soon enough I had finally hit the 12 mile mark. At this point a pace runner came by me holding a sign that said 10:18 meaning that the first group out would have been averaging that and since I was not in the first group, I figured I'd be around 10 minutes, but pushed myself for that last mile just in case. I felt I had some energy left in me so I ended up running and then as soon as I saw the straightaway and the finish line I went into an all out sprint. Being the dolt that I am, I did this much too early and got very tired, but not wanting to look like a loser in front of the spectators lined up for the last quarter mile, I kept on sprinting and crossed the finish line pretending all the cheers in the crowd were for me as I passed a good couple hundred people at the end.

Even though I finished ahead of that pace guy, I still somehow ended up with a 2:18:05 which I'm okay with, but Dragonlady killed me. It was an amazing experience and I am now hooked. I'm hoping to re-up and do a couple of these a year. If anyone is thinking about doing it or thinks in their mind that it sounds like something cool, I can't recommend it enough. It's fun and good for you and there aren't too many of those things in the world. I went from hating running to loving it in 6 months and if I can do it, anyone can.

Go big or go home. I'm going to break 2hrs next time.

-M, p, z & shredder

Cast List...

So I guess if I'm going to give everyone nicknames, it'll probably be easiest if I have a cast list or something you can click on to remind you who's who in case you are actually so bored that you care to know.

So obviously there's me - cooler than a polar bears toenails, but here's the rest:

(disclaimer - this will be the only page on my blog that will be updated on a regular basis)

Lemon - 23, blonde, funny, uncontrollable
Other Guy - brother in arms in Halo (also actual brother)
Brown Guy - brown, runner, gets inexplicably mad at the little things in life
Dragonlady - brown guys woman, could possibly beat me up
Mark Twain - best friend, hates confrontation
Francine - french/indian (not like the war), likes turtles
Leadright - former roommate, probably still eats ramen
Sylvia - Mark Twain's sister, seemingly loves boy problems
Socrates - former roommate, teacher, doesn't watch TV
Kingsford - fellow moviephile, green thumb, vegetarian
Other Girl - Other Guy's girl, pediatrician, fellow Psych lover
Jesse Spano -young, blonde, monotone and bestie
Nebraska - likes babies, blonde, dancer, from Nebraska
Texas -  white rapper, funny, from Texas

If you are lucky enough to make my blog, then pat yourself on the back. If not, buy me a shot of tequila and the night will probably end in a story that will land on here.

Friday, October 16, 2009

This Is Why He's Hot...

President Obama giving us a shout out. I don't think Bush ever mentioned Diwali in his life.

The City of Wind...

So once again, for what seems to be the 50th time in my life, I'm moving. To Chicago. This time will hopefully be the last (or one of the last) location moves, and the third time zone shift in my life. After spending some time out here, I'm convinced that Central Time is the worst. EST is obviously the best and even more so in Michigan - being on the border of Central time, we generally get almost an hour more daylight than the people of New York and the rest of the east coast. It's great. But CST means an hour less daylight and TV shows are an hour earlier. Unlike Mountain time or PST, where shows are delayed until the proper hour, shows just air whenever they want here. Now, I don't watch TV and won't be able to afford cable, but on the rare occasion that I do, I want 30 Rock to start at 930 and not 830. Whatever.

Aside from the new move, I've decided I'm going to change my blog slightly as well. Instead of always talking about something mundane, I'm going to try and post 'interesting' anecdotes about my life. Don't get me wrong, I'll still write many many boring blogs that really do nothing but distract you, while simultaneously not entertain you, for a few minutes. Fresh off the heels of stealing Sylvia's format, I'm also going to borrow from my friend Prudence's style as well and dole out nicknames to recurring characters in my life. Obviously this is going to be a work in progress and there will be terrible posts like this where I grumble something about time zones and then explain something very simple in a long run on paragraph, but that's how I get down.

The city of wind. Indeed. It is markedly colder than NYC which leads me to this next point (my first point?) which is that despite my strong desire to leave the city, there will be things about it that I will miss. Thai Food. The Subway. West Side Market. Lemon (introduction of the first character - possibly the funniest girl in the world). The Library for the Performing Arts. Fat Cat (greatest bar in the world). The West Village. Francine (I'm cheating here - this is actually Prudence's sister, also called 'Francine,' which makes her like Frasier only if Cheers was still on while Fraiser was). There are probably a few other things that will come out but that's all I got for now.

So I move in a couple of weeks. Actually on the 1st which might be the worst time ever to move due to Halloween being the night before but we'll see what happens. I'm hoping I can move a day sooner and get it over with rather than drag it out over a whole weekend. Moving is the worst. Anyways, that's all for now. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps:
tfln - (718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. "

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Top 5 Shows...

With the fall season pretty much in full swing I figure it's time to post my favorite shows of the fall thus far and I must say that this season has been full of surprises. With the anticipation of tomorrow's premiere of 30 Rock, I can hardly contain myself. Never in all my blogging years have sitcoms so fully dominated the list. Without further dilly dallying, here it is:

5.) Cougar Town / Modern Family

So obviously these shows aren't the same, but as they come on the same day, same channel and in a row, I don't really feel bad putting them together. They really would have had their own spots if not for Glee. If you read my blog at all you know I'm not a huge fan of sitcoms and find them to usually teeter somewhere between bad and Two and Half Men (heinous), but these shows are great. Cougar Town is co-created by Bill Lawrence who also helmed Scrubs (which explains the comedy style) and Modern Family is just flat out funny. Check them out on Wed on ABC (or on Hulu like the rest of us who don't watch tv).

4.) Glee

Love this show. You either love it or hate it and if you don't know anything about it go on Hulu and watch the season premiere and either you'll love it or hate it as well. I saw Lea Michelle in Spring Awakening (worst musical I've ever seen) and think she's pretty much the bomb, though her screen acting leaves you waiting until she hones her skill.

3.) Monk

If you haven't seen this show by now, you're either not interested or don't like it. But this season is the final season and it's going out with a bang. The episodes are hilarious and they are hopefully leading up to a 2 or 3 part season finale where Monk finally finds out who murdered his wife and he can be at peace.

2.) 30 Rock

Possibly the funniest show in television history. I'm not speaking in superlatives. Tina Fey is ridiculous. She's my hero and inspiration (and I've kind of met her). If you haven't seen the show ever, or only a couple of episodes then, like so many other things in life, go on Hulu and make your life better. For those of you with netflix, hop on and watch season 3 in full on instant view. The only reason this isn't number 1 is because I've been watching my number 1 longer and it means more to me sentimentally (but not by much at all - in fact this is insanely close).

1.) Psych

Best show on TV. Barely. This season started out pretty slowly - I wasn't very impressed with the first couple episodes but since then it's really taken off. I'm a little upset at how little screen time both Maggie Lawson and Rachael Leigh Cook have had, but other than that Gus has been hilarious this season.

Anyways, that's it. Go watch all of these shows instead of wasting your time with your friends, or reading, or volunteering or working. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

One Two Three...

Since Sylvia stopped blogging, I'm going to steal her multiple thought format which I've been eyeing for a while.


I'm currently at my parents house in Michigan on my way to Chicago tomorrow and I feel like I'm 8 years old again. My mom is yelling at me and I have a lot of errands to do which are basically chores. So yesterday some guy calls and we have the following conversation:
Dude: "Hey, is your dad home?"
Me: "No, he's not. May I take a message?"
Dude: "Oh he's not? Well is he at work?"
Me: "Yes."
Dude: "Well is your mom there?"
Me: "No, she's at work too, but I can leave them a message for you."
Dude: She is?!?! Well that's great! That's a really good thing! I guess I'll just try your dad at work then."

First of all, I'm 27. Most people don't call and say, "is your dad there," they mistake me for my dad. My balls dropped a while back and I don't sound like a 9 year old girl anymore. Second, I started to feel like a little kid again by breaking the cardinal rule of letting a stranger know both my parents weren't home. I should have responded, "Yes, my mom is home but I think she's in the shower right now - hold on [fake muffle phone] {fake yell} Mommmmmm? Mom! No sorry sir, she's still in there but I can have her call you back when she gets out" Those sneaky bastards always fall for that one. Lastly, of course they're at work. It's 1pm on a Tuesday - where are they supposed to be. Granted he could have meant it was great because of the economic conditions but this sounded more of a genuine surprise that two adults could be working at the same time in the middle of the week.


Eye-care retail stores are the new car dealerships. I went in to get some new glasses today because mine are five years old and I see like a bat in the middle of a desert at midday. So I see a nice new trendy frame that make me look like an unstoppable force of good looking and decide I need them. They are only $219 and they're also 30% off! Okay, how much is the eye exam? $54? I can handle that. $200 for the glasses and the exam - that sounds like a steal. So I get the eye exam and they keep trying to sell me on getting my eyes dilated. Not to sound like a snob but if anyone is dilating my eyes it's going to be an Opthamologist and not an Optometrist and it definitely won't be at the mall. So anyway, after successfully refusing to let them charge me extra on doing random things during my exam it comes time to buy my glasses.

So I grab the frames and give them to the counter lady and she says okay have a seat and lets take a look. I sit down, somewhat worried she might try and make out with me after she sees me with them on, and she starts with her routine. "Okay so what kind of lenses do you want?" Now, this is the first time I've tried to get glasses or contacts without eye insurance so I never paid attention to the cost of these things or everything that went into it. So I say, "You mean the lenses don't come with the glasses?" "No, this price is just for the frames." So then I have to pick out lenses. Apparently the cheap ones really suck. So I get the second 'cheapest' I can. $125. I can handle that I guess - they're also 30% off. So then I say okay well whats the total now? Something more than 200 that's for sure.

Then she tells me that I might want to get the lenses with the anti-glare non reflection coating. I say in my head, "That sounds like a car salesman selling me undercoating or rustproofing." So she tells me that my current glasses have the same lenses and if I don't get them I'll look like a big douche wearing sunglass lenses in my regular frames. So I make a lot of gestures and sigh a lot because this will be an additional $80. I flap my arms and ask her how bad it would look and she says, "well if you're making an investment into nice frames you might as well get these - they'll look better and help you see better at night." She pretty much said either get the ones on clearance like you should, or be the baller I know you are and get the coated lenses. So I bite and go for the special lenses. Then she rings me up and the total is something egregious like $350 or something and so I pay and afterwards she tells me that they don't have the lenses in right now (the ones she just goaded me into buying) and that it'll take up to two weeks. I sigh and shrug and leave dejected. But in two weeks, look out because I'm coming with my glasses blazing.


Are my brother and I the only people in the world left who buy cds? iTunes is ruining my life. On one hand, it's great for music I can't find in stores or download illegally. On the other hand, there are so many different versions of albums that come out, I am forced to buy the one on iTunes. Case in point - Everclear is one of my favorite bands. Yesterday they had a new album come out. I was very excited because even though it was just new recordings of their old hits, it had a few new songs and one of my favorite songs of theirs that is not on any album. So after checking the track listing on iTunes I go to the store to buy it. As I'm in line to check out, I notice the track that I love isn't on it. So I get pissed and go back and none of the cds have the extra song. So I go home and check and sure enough it's only on iTunes and only for purchase if you get the whole album. So I bought it off iTunes and raised my arm to the sky and shook it at Steve Jobs.

My problem with it is that while I like the ease and convenience and overall quality of iTunes, I love cds. I grew up buying cds. I love them. I love opening them up and taking off the sticker and taking it out of the case for the first time and looking at the cover art. You know what I hate? Downloading an album, burning it onto a cd, because my iPhone is only 8 gigs and is full and writing the band name and album title in my sh*tty handwriting. I hate burned cds that aren't mixes. It's lame. But you win some, you lose some I guess.

I'm out for a bit. Busy weekend ahead. I'll try and get to you sometime. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Ode to Sunday...

For my money Sunday is the best day of the week. It seems like a lot of people are huge fans of Friday and Saturday, but if you ask me the name says it all; and on the seventh day god said, let this day of funny pages and sleeping-in be named after the great warm feeling of the sun. And so Sunday was made specifically to be spent hanging out.

I get the allure of Friday - end of the work week (unless you work on the weekends) and it's the start of two and a half days off. People go out, movies are released, you can stay up as late as you want and still have two days to recover - it's a great day. And Saturday, doesn't get a whole lot better than that. Wake up late, do whatever you want with whoever you want, hang out at night and be reckless.

A lot of people (pessimists) see Sunday as the last day before the week begins. They dread Sunday because it means you have to start to buckle down and get ready for another week of workin for the money. But not this guy. To me Sunday is the Thanksgiving of weekdays. As many of you may have heard me say before, Thanksgiving is hands down the best holiday of the year. It's all the Christmas spirit (friends, family, getting together, giving thanks, appreciating life) without the commercialization of it. It's all about family without gifts and getting together just to see each other. Same goes with Sunday. It's all about relaxing. Getting up whenever, brunch (who doesn't love brunch), watching the Lions (another reason I love Thanksgiving so much) and hanging out. No one feels the need to get dolled up and booze it up, people just want to relax and hang out. You really can't beat that.

Not sure why I'm bringing this up on a Tuesday, but when this weekend rolls around, let me know what the best day of it was and hopefully you shallow losers realize that Sunday is where the party's at, not where the Bacardi at. I'm out. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Best Of: Summer Movies 09...

Alright, as promised here is my best of list for movies this summer. I was more pumped for this summer than summers past, but it looks like it was a huge letdown. Good thing next summer can't be a let down because even if all the movies suck, Iron Man 2 will be amazing (fingers crossed Scarlett "worst actress ever" Johanssen doesn't ruin the franchise). First though, instead of doing a worst list I'll just mention some terrible movies that nearly ruined the summer. First, and by far the worst, was Transformers 2. Was that this summer? I can't believe how bad it was. I enjoyed the first one and was really looking forward to this, but it was just tremendously awful. Harry Potter 6 was also heartbreaking. The first movie in the series I didn't love. It's almost like someone read the cliff notes, decided most of it wasn't important, rewrote it, then hired someone dyslexic to put it together. I've only seen it the once so I won't say I hate it, but as of right now, I definitely didn't like it. Also making my sh*t list was Wolverine. Pretty close to hating it as much as Transformers 2 but not quite there. Way to ruin Gambit and Deadpool in one movie.

Anyway, here's the top 5 best movies. Once again these are just from the movies I have seen (May - Sept 21st) so it may not be completely accurate until I finish netflixing all the ones I missed. Honorable mentions are District 9 and Funny People.

5.) Up
Disney & Pixar did it again. I don't think they will ever make a bad movie. I haven't seen cars but I can't imagine it's bad. Following Wall-e, I didn't think they could keep up with expectations, and while this wasn't as good, it was pretty close. If that opening credits montage didn't get your eyes watery, then you have no heart.

4.) (500) Days of Summer
I love this movie. I've already talked about it a few times so I'll be brief but you could put JGL and Zooey in any movie and I'll pay to see it. The only thing I wasn't so keen on was the narration, but I'm okay with it.

3.) Away We Go
Who'd have thought a guy from The Office (terrible, I mean, U.S. version) could be funny? This movie was refreshingly hilarious. I'm sick of the 'indie' woe is me dark comedies that basically need to make characters hate life in order to get the point across. This movie was great and you should all rent it asap (it just came out today).

2.) Moon
Sam Rockwell is my hero. I know I talked about this one a couple of times already, but the fact that he carried this movie by himself and it was this good is really a testament to how good an actor he is. He created this person (people) that were so real, it was hard to figure out what was happening. I'm not sure how to classify this movie, it wasn't a comedy or a drama or a thriller or suspense. It's whatever 2001: A Space Odyssey is after the apes and before sh*t gets weird.

1.) Star Trek
This movie blew me away. Repeatedly. With so many movies coming out and the fact that I see them all, it's rare that I get to see a movie 4 or 5 times in the theater, but with this I kept going back specifically to see this and not just as a third option on a slow wednesday. Only a couple movies have been this good that kept bringing me back, Batman Begins, Iron Man and Kill Bill Vol. 1. Star Trek was perfect and I can't wait until the next one. I am not a huge fan of the original Star Trek and have only ever seen one or two episodes but that didn't matter. The story was perfect, the acting, the action and everything else was amazing. JJ Abrams is somehow sneaking his way into being one of my must see directors. This doesn't come out on dvd until mid november (the 17th I think) so you've got some time before you can watch it, but you won't be disappointed when you do.

Never have Indies dominated the chart the way they have this summer. This is sort of a combination of the fact that the blockbusters sucked, and people are loving indies (which is good for my industry) and theaters are actually screening these films in much more abundance than ever before. It's awesome. Anyway, that's it. There are some gems coming out this fall so I'll post a list soon of things you need to keep an eye out for. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder


So I guess Fall is officially here now. The nights are getting colder, leaves are falling, MSU is losing and the Pistons finally report to training camp today. Two things I'm crazy excited for are the MSU v UM game this weekend (I'm pretty sure we're going to put a stop to our losing streak and their winning streak) and the Pistons. It's going to be a strange group that takes the court when preseason starts next Monday, but I'm looking forward to it. I haven't had this much uncertainty going into a season since 2000.

I realized I haven't done a summer movie review yet so I will get on that shortly, but for now, let me just tell you a few movies not to see in case you were planning on a movie sometime this week/weekend. First is 'The Informant!' with Matt Damon. I'm a big fan of Matt Damon but not a fan of Steven Soderberg who is not a very good director, but the only thing I liked about the Ocean's movies was Damon, so I thought that this would be good. It wasn't. It wasn't bad, it was just kind of whatever, which is pretty much how the Ocean's movies are. I almost forgot that I saw the movie the same day I saw it which isn't generally a good sign. 'Extract' was another that can wait til dvd, I'm a big fan of Mike Judge but his feature's aren't that great. 'Gamer' and 'Inglorious Basterds' were both not so great though Gamer isn't really supposed to be good in the first place. '9' was pretty good, I'd definitely watch that again. It's been a pretty lackluster summer even though it was supposed to be amazing.

Anyway, I'll have a best summer movie list of the summer up later so you know what to check out on dvd. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - tfln: "(559): We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley. " I liked this one a lot, mostly because I have a friend Dustin who I feel the same way about.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Just a couple of quick hits. First of all, this morning was street cleaning. So I move my car and double park like everyone else does. When I come back to move it I noticed there was a ticket it on it for being within 6 feet of a fire hydrant. Technically, I wasn't 6 feet from it if you measure out from the actual fire hydrant but if you're going by the yellow dash, then yes my bumper barely crossed the line. The worst part is that the ticket is $115 (don't plan on paying it anytime soon) but if I hadn't moved my car at all I would have only gotten a ticket for $40. It's asinine. And it pisses me off. It's only the fourth ticket I've gotten in NYC in a couple years which isn't so bad. I've only paid one before and that was $40. The other two were both 115, one for the same infraction above and one for literally parking for 3 minutes with my hazards on in a designated "bus zone" that was also for $115. I have paid none of those. And I don't plan to. They can't impound my car because I don't have NY plates (it's a silly rule but I'm not complaining) so I'll pay them after I win the lottery. Assh*les.

Also Halo 3: ODST came out today. It's pretty awesome. I'll save you the nerd review but if you like Halo then pick it up. Otherwise continue being lame.

That's it I guess. In case you were wondering why I didn't do a best dressed at the Emmys this year, it's because I didn't watch. After seeing pictures however, I think it would be once again Julia Louise Dreyfuss at the top although I think Sandra Oh would have taken the top spot. Elaine might just be in the top 5 of hottest celebs over 40 - she's right up there with Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston and Monica Belluci (though no one is as hot as MB).

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - tfln: "(802): My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
(516): is she hot?
(802): She is now"

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Dear Brooklyn...

Stop being a pain in the ass to get to. Stop convincing people that you're a fun borough to hang out in. You're not cool, fun and definitely not 'so beautiful.' My neighborhood is much nicer and I live in little Cuba apparently. Your streets look like Baghdad. Stop letting hipsters take over everything.

Dear Hipster, can you please stop sticking your elbow in my ribs before I kill you? It's called personal space and I know you and your bangs think that it's cool and bohemian to not apologize for stepping on my toes, but you're ugly and need makeup and are not nearly cool enough to not look me in the eye and beg forgiveness for spilling beer on me while you step on my toe. Can we please be done with the bright tights with the black boots? Hipster is the new Goth. Take a shower and grow up, you aren't that cool or original.

That's all. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Little Loyalty...

...goes a long way. I have been going to the same place to get my oil changed since I was 16. Actually I have been going there for longer, I was just usually not the one driving. I know what you're thinking, I drive all the way to my parents house in Port Huron, Michigan just to get an oil change? Not really, I just always get one when I come home and since I never drive my car in NYC, the only time I need an oil change is after I get home.

The point of me telling you this is that my dad's car had a low engine coolant light on. So he asked me to take it in and make sure it didn't leak. So I took it in to the same place I get my oil changed and the guy checked the line, said it looked fine and then filled up my anti-freeze. Then he said, 'You're all set, have a good day." I asked him how much I owed and he shook his head and said not to worry about it. I know it probably would have only been like 5 or 10 dollars, but it's the thought that counts. I am never going to get my oil changed anywhere else, all because this guy (who has personally been changing my oil since I started going there) knew I was a valuable customer and that loyalty goes a long way.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

The Season's Over...

So much for Summer. I know I say this every year, but this one really flew by - and in this case it's actually true. It pretty much rained it's way into July so by the time it was actually nice out and Summery, it was already the 4th. Usually there are weeks and weeks of beaching and being outside before the 4th. And then as suddenly as the rain stopped, it was Labor Day - and almost as if on queue, the lake got wavy, the winds grew and the leaves started to fall. Literally on Labor Day. How lame.

Luckily I always believe in denial. I still think there are weeks if not at least a month left of good weather. This may or may not be true, but my flip flops aren't coming off until Halloween. I was luckily enough to have spent the majority of my summer away from NYC, aka the most horrid place to spend a summer, and spent most of it in Michigan. Glorious Michigan. There is no place in the world I would rather be in the summer than Michigan. Until today when my mom made me put away all the summer stuff. Goodbye patio table and chairs, farewell hose, see you in 8 or 9 months my beloved kayak...

It's not over yet though. There's still time to enjoy summer things. Fall hasn't officially begun in my head until that first frost. Then I'm happy because I love Fall. Anyways, I'm headed back to NYC tomorrow which will be nice because it's no longer humid beyond belief there and I'll hopefully be taking a weekend adventure to the ocean the next weekend for my last venture into the water until next summer. So go big or go home, but definitely go outside and enjoy the weather.

I'm out.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, September 14, 2009

Another Day Closer to Death...

Did anyone watch the MTV VMAs last night? Neither did I. In yet another example that I'm getting older and more out of touch with today's youth, I actually thought it was the MTV Movie Awards. Tomorrow I turn 27. Meh. The only birthday I ever cared about was when I turned 16 because then the world was mine. Once you can drive there is nothing stopping you from doing everything. That license is your ticket out of anything. I didn't care so much about 21 because I had a fake and I was also the last of my friends to turn 21 so the novelty had already worn off. I was somewhat intrigued by turning 25 because then you can rent a car, but then I learned that you can rent one after you turn 18 - it just costs an asinine amount in insurance.

So 27 is just another day closer to death. I'm not actually that morbid, but it's more of an interesting fact than anything. I'm also not that out of touch with today's youth - for example, I just bought the new Jay-Z album last week. He's still cool, right? The problem I have with today's youth is that they're spoiled. Cell phones for 5 year olds? People had pagers when I was in high school. My first cell phone was in college and it was analog - oh my, the static was heinous. Kids don't send notes in class, they text each other under their desks. They don't sneak a coke into the library, they send friends naked pics of some poor slut that Jimmy made out with.

Essentially I don't think kids act like kids anymore. They're growing up too fast. Too much booze, too much sex and too much technology. These kids have access to everything so early they they never get a chance to be innocent. We didn't have high speed internet when I was 10 - we had Oregon Trail. We didn't even have high speed internet in our school when I graduated - it wasn't until college that T3 changed my life. Kids get everything now when they should be first weaned on cartoons and Saved by the Bell and Dawson's Creek. Now they have Gossip Girl and other slutty shows that teach kids it's cool to drink and party and be a terrible person.

Anyway, I'm old and rambling. I'm out. My point is that Kanye West is an asshole, I love Taylor Swift and always will, and I have never seen any of the music videos that they were talking about last night, but Beyonce is pretty nice.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - tfln: "(619): You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on. "

Friday, September 11, 2009

Womp Womp... know, sad pathetic noise. So my run yesterday went as follows: Take cold medicine, take vitamin c, forget powerbar, forget gatorade, forget ice (for my shins), forget head phones (for my head) and run anyway. I made it about a mile and a half before stopping in agony. "My shins!" I exclaimed. My precious shins, that have now turned against me like Anakin against the Jedi (bastard - he was the chosen one!). So I thought, "hey, let's walk another half mile and run the two miles back!" So I walked. Then at 2 miles, I turned and ran! I got about a quarter mile before my shins hurt even worse, and it spread to my knee. Curse you right leg!! Thou hast forsaken me!

With only 5 weeks left til the half-marathon, my days are numbered (I call Monday day 1 - get it? numbered?) Anyway, if I were to shake a fancy 8-ball it would tell me that my 'outlook is grim' and I would reply, "f*ck you magic 8-ball! What makes you so magic anyway?!" Then I would cry. This is my life. But, like Robin Hood looking for his Brother John, I'll make it to the half, and I'll run the entire thing (does it count as running if you are just walking but fake running in slow motion?). Anyway, it was the worst run of my life and as if to spite me, my leg feels fine now (except for the pain).

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

tfln: "(262): Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat? "

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Just a few quick thoughts to start your Thursday. Everyone watch President Obama's speech last night? I thought it was great. There were some highs, mostly when he repeatedly said people do not have to change their current plan - hoping that any assh*le left who says they don't want to change their plan will hopefully be told to be quiet. There were some lows, most notably when he said that he wants to, and I'm paraphrasing here, take a look at medical malpractice reform because it 'might' have something to do with the high cost of insurance. Might? It's most certainly got something to do with it and while I have no facts to back it up, I'm pretty sure it has to be one of the biggest reasons for high insurance costs. Medical malpractice reform is an absolute must.

Other than that, Rep. Joe Wilson is a petulant 5 year old. I would have jumped across the aisle and punched him in his f*cking gourd, then said something to the effect of, "who's lying now?" or something equally action-flick witty. Overall I think it was a pretty positive and necessary speech to make, not so much to the people of congress but to the people sitting at home who believe all the misinformation that was spread about death panels and socialism and government mandating everything. Speaking of mandates, I'm not sure how he got around using that word but he did, and I just don't realistically see a bill being passed that has a mandate on people getting insurance unless it honestly only costs as much as 300-400 a year for the minimum. People can't afford it, especially now - that said, he was right to say his plan won't work unless it's mandated - so I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Personally I can't afford health insurance but wouldn't mind paying 300 for some basic stuff if I had to.

Moving on. The U.S. Open has been alright despite my boy being knocked out early. It's kind of like watching a golf tournament where Tiger is not in contention. I love seeing good matches but with Roddick gone, I've got no one I'm aching to see win. It'd be nice to see Nadal win. It'd be awesome to see Federer lose. It'd be nice to see Djokovic win. But I just can't really get into it until I see an instant classic 5-set match that keeps me up til 1 in the morning. At least the women's draw is interesting.

Enough about that. Let's talk about me. So today will be pretty important in telling whether I am a runner or just a pretender. It's the first day I've thought about not doing my run. I've been slowly coming down with a cold for the last two days and it finally might have hit me today. I'm a little congested and tired and my eyes feel like they could sleep forever. Aside from that I've got the worst shin splints I've ever had. They burn when I run and then just kind of have a numbing pain all day long. So I'm supposed to run 8 miles today. And I might not. I've already eaten my runners breakfast and have my gatorade and powerbar ready to rock, but it might not happen. I'll keep you posted. Less than 6 weeks til the half and it's starting to get rough...

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - tfln: "(973): maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game "


Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Boys Are From Earth, Girls Are From Crazy...

Girls are from crazy:

Before I begin, let me say that I'm not trying to imply chicks are crazy, I'm trying to explicitly state it. I don't think it's a bad thing, actually I kind of find it fascinating how different girls are from boys - and I don't mean to offend anyone, but if I do then thank you for proving my point. After recently having a discussion with a friend (who is a girl) about why girls spaz out a lot, her argument was essentially that girls aren't crazy - they just get 'stressed' about situations and they need to 'vent' about it by ranting for as long as they desire. I told her that this is, in fact, why they are crazy.

Not sure how many Harry Potter fans there are out there, but if you are a nerd like me then you'll remember in The Order of the Phoenix, there was a line that perfectly describes women. To summarize briefly, Harry liked this girl Cho who liked him but also had a boyfriend who was recently murdered by Voldemort and who's mom was being threatened by the Ministry of Magic. After they have their first kiss, Harry tells Ron that she cried right after to which Ron, being a dude, laughs in Harry's face at his pathetic first kiss. Hermione then explains why she cried and that she's feeling all these emotions at once to which Ron replies in complete sincerity, "One person can't possibly feel all that at once. They'd explode!"

While most girls aren't facing such dire circumstances as Cho Chang, they all react the same to everything. "I have so much to do - let me take a minute to cry about it." "I don't like my class - let me get upset and yell at people who try to calm me down." Obviously not all girls react the same to every situation, but for every girl there are many things that make them go crazy. Some girls get stressed about 'life' some get stressed about work and some get stressed about relationships and many get stressed about a combination of these things.

Boys are from earth:

For all the societal cliches that say guys are dumb, really we're just logical. We know that life is life. We don't expect everything to go smoothly and we know that nothing rarely does. No matter how much planning and coordinating and control a girl might think she has, nothing is ever completely under control.

I never expect anything I buy to work. I never think things will happen on time if the responsibility is in someone else's hands and I never plan on having my expectations met by people I don't know - whether it's at work, or getting something fixed or having any kind of customer service performed. If you keep these things in mind, the only thing left to bother you is friends or significant others letting you down - and if you know that even these things happen sometimes, then you've got nothing to stress about.

I admit that even I'm closer to Bob Marley than most guys about stress, but still, most guys just let things be. Life isn't a box of roses, it's a box of chocolates. Forrest Gump knew this, why don't chicks?

I say this not to tell girls they are crazy but in the hope that if they find themselves stressed, just think about these few thoughts: there's nothing you can do about it so just let it be, life isn't that big of a deal and finally, sh*t happens. It's a little existentialist but I wake up happy and I go to bed happy. During the day I'll be walking downtown and some assh*les will elbow me trying to get to their lame jobs and I'll have about 10 seconds where I see red and want to stab them and shove them in the sewer but then it passes and I forget about it.

As the Kingsford (charcoal) motto goes, "Slow down and grill." Words to live by.

Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder