Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Farewell June...

This has been a wonderful month and it's ending much to quickly. I think I'm ready to declare June my favorite month of the year. Great weather, great lakes, great times and great celebrations. When I get married, it'll be in June. 30 days?! Why can't June get 32 days? Let's take away another one from February because it's not like it's really gonna miss that extra day.

Tonight, June goes out with a bang, or possibly crickets. I've got my first improv class tonight at Second City. I'm a little nervous about it but it should be fun. It's one thing to be funny with your other equally funny (if not more so) friends, but to do it for reals and make other people laugh? I'm ready for crickets. Really I'm just ready to continue being awesome so we'll see how it goes.

As always, go big or go home. Keep your feet on the ground but keep reaching for the stars. Have a fun/safe/exciting and patriotic 4th of July weekend y'all.

-M, p, z & shredder


So I finally went movie hopping the other day. It'd been far too long but there were a slew of movies that I needed to see and only got through half so I'm in for another adventure next week. The A-Team was really good. I think they did a good job of capturing how campy the original was but still didn't let it get too silly and brought it up to date without losing the charm. They kind of took the characters to the extreme but it was fun and entertaining and hilarious and overall a great summer flick that didn't disappoint. Toy Story 3 was pretty much a tear fest. Definitely get your kleenex out for this one. If you can get through it without getting misty eyed, you should be living in a cave in Afghanistan.

What I really wanted to talk about was Knight and Day. Cameron Diaz is arguably the worst actress ever, because aside from being a bad actress she's ugly. She looks like a girl who was cute in middle school and then just got ugly like so many of them do. Not that her being ugly is a reason to hate her, but add that to being forced down my throat and told how pretty she is, and she takes the cake. However, I am a big Tom Cruise fan. What's not to like? He's a good actor, he's always entertaining and he hasn't missed a beat since Top Gun.

So what gives? So he's a little crazy. No big deal. Are people really that upset that he's a Scientologist? Do they really care that much that he doesn't think people should be on drugs for depression or ADHD. Does it matter that he jumped on Oprah's couch? Why does everyone love to hate him? There are far worse people in Hollywood doing far worse things (Lindsay Lohan, anyone associated with MTV, Two and a Half Men) and people still support them. Mel Gibson gets a second chance for being an anti-semite, why can't Tom Cruise get another chance? I have never been let down by a movie he's starred in and probably never will. Go see Knight and Day. It's a silly popcorn summer flick, but it's definitely worth movie hopping into.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

David Yates is Trying to Kill Me...

For those who don't know who David Yates is, he's the director of the last 2 Harry Potter movies and the yet to be released two part finale (this is a Harry Potter post so for most of you, you won't care about this). Don't get me wrong, I loved the 5th movie. He only changed a little and what he left out wasn't that important. But then came the abomination that was The Half Blood Prince. If I never read the books I would have loved it. But it's almost like he never read the books. He left out so much "because of time constraints" but then added a bunch of garbage and changed so much of the story around that it resembled nothing close to the story line of the book. The end was absolutely atrocious though, a travesty and blasphemous to a really great book. He simultaneously made Harry look like a pussy and Dumbledore die like a bitch. People said to hold off judgment because he arranged the 6th movie in such a way that it would coincide better with the two part finale.

Well the full trailer finally came out yesterday and all I can think is that he still ruined book 6 and looks to ruin the finale even more. Two things that really stand out are how silly Harry looks strolling into the Forbidden Forest when he lets Valdemort kill him and the final battle between him and Valdemort that is CLEARLY not in the Great Hall and NO ONE is watching. Where are all the dead bodies? Where is Mrs. Weasley battling Bellatrix?! Where is Neville Longbottom?!?!

Oh, the humanity!!!

Somebody get this guy a copy of the book. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Quarter 1...

Last Friday marked the end of my first quarter at school. Really the program is 5 quarters which doesn't make sense and they should really think about calling them 'fifths.' As in, "I just finished my first fifth," or "I'm about to start my second fifth." Just a thought. The reason I mention this is not to rub it in to all you working class heroes that I'm still in school and refuse to re-enter the real world, but to note that for the first time since high school I did not miss a class. Just under 3 months and I did not miss a single class. Warm weather, Lake Michigan, a 25 minute commute and none of them could thwart me. It helps that I've got friends in school that I love hanging out with, but the bigger picture is that I'm interested in what I'm doing.

Film school was awesome and I only skipped a few of those classes and those were mostly things I didn't need to go to, but to say I never missed a class there would be a lie. I can't wait until we get to start our TV commercial class and I get to apply my film school expertise (doubtful) to an ad. This was the natural progression that I originally saw when I decided to apply to ad school and I'm excited that I get to work on it soon. End of ramble.

The point of me saying this is that maybe I'm getting more mature? The thought of that makes my inner Peter Pan shudder but it may be happening regardless. I wonder if it's possible to stay young and still grow up. I'm hoping it is because that's pretty much what I've been trying to do my whole life.

Reasons I know I'm old:
1) I tell kids to pull their pants up
2) I'm afraid of teenagers
3) I get tired around 9 and try and go to bed around 10
4) I can no longer relate to anything on MTV

I suppose it's all inevitable. Eventually I'll have kids and hate the music they listen to, unless they're cool and listen to my old records/albums/mp3s. The moral of the day is growing up is lame but, to quote Ozma, "living ain't that hard if you know you're alive."

I'm out. Only make moves when your hearts in it, and live the phrase: the sky's the limit.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - remember this? 10 years ago when I graduated high school this song had just come out and was our graduation song. Lame.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Don't Judge Me...

I have a confession to make that is both disgusting and embarrassing. You know that new Nickelback song, This Afternoon? I kind of like it. And by kind of, I mean I love it. It's the best. I'm repulsed by myself. I feel like I just watched an episode of Two and a Half Men or something. But I can't help it. I tried so hard for so long to pretend that I hated the song. But every time it came on I would publicly groan and then silently pray that no one changed the station. Now it's on my ipod. If you haven't heard it, avoid it at all cost so your hatred of Nickelback can remain intact. Actually I might hate them more for making me like one of their wretched demon songs.

It's insane how bad the lyrics are. For example:

"Landlord says I should buy a tent
But he can kiss my ass 'cause I paid the rent
So I doubt he'll kick me out this afternoon"

What does that even mean? I hate the lyrics and his voice and everything about this band, but I still can't help but love this song. It's pretty much the perfect white trash summer drinking song. I want to go outside, play bags and drink Busch Light. The only thing that makes it somewhat acceptable is that Tiger Woods likes Nickelback and that dude's a billionaire. Come to think of it, Tiger might have some white trash in him. He likes ugly trashy fat chicks and Nickelback.

Anyway, give it a listen if you haven't heard it I guess. My favorite part is near the end when he screams, "last call you sons of bicthes!!"

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Youtube Two Three...

I had a few things to talk about but I'm busy and can't. There's no time. there's never any time! I'm so excited. I'm! Zack, I'm so scared. Oops, slipped in to a little Saved By The Bell tangent there. Anyway, here are some videos that I am in love with on youtube to help you pass a few minutes of your mundane Tuesday.

This is a cover of my favorite Sam Cooke song. They kind of killed it (as in it rules):

This is a hilarious BP oil spill spoof:

This is just reliving awesomeness:

I'm out. Happy Tuesday. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I just bit the inside of my lip. It kills. While I was sitting here cursing my luck and the fact that god was punishing me for eating Oreos which are clearly not on my running diet, I wondered why I was chewing so hard. I was chewing the shit out of those Oreos! Then I realized that I think I probably always chew that hard. You kind of have to. As I sat here wondering what you can eat without chewing hard (I only came up with gum) I started to wonder if dinosaurs ever bit thier lips. 

This sent me down a mind tangent you wouldn't believe. But the basic notion was that we always learn about how dinosaurs most likely roamed the earth. We hear about how Velociraptors most likely used vocal communication (this is what I'm gathering from extensive viewings of Jurassic Park I-III), who ate who, who was an herbivore and so on. But we never hear anything about the mundane. Have you ever seen a Brontosaurus chew? There is no way those dudes didn't bite their tongues. And I bet when they did, they hooted and hollered as much as I did. My point is this, there are some things in this world, that no matter who and what you are, just suck when they happen to you. You think Bin Laden doesn't bite his tongue in that cave? You're crazy. He probably does it all the time. I bet he burns his toungue too since all he uses is a fire to heat up his food.

I love that there are universal truths and biting your lip or burning your tongue is definitely one of those.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Charlie Sheen...

I hate Charlie Sheen. In an update to an earlier post about him going to jail, not surprisingly his sentencing was delayed. He was supposed to report to jail today and I was going to pop some champagne, but instead he now has to go back to court for something new about his last domestic violence charge.

Here's what I don't get: Chris Brown hit Rhianna once and that's all she wrote. Charlie Sheen has mulitiple violence charges against mulitiple women, the last one involved holding a knife to his current wife's throat. On Christmas. Chris Brown immediately sought treatment, counsel and has felt the public backlash ever since. Charlie Sheen doesn't go to rehab, doesn't get counseling and CBS not only doesn't pull his show but instead gives him a raise to once again make him the highest paid actor on television. Was Denise Richards not a big enough star to beat up? Does he need to cold clock Julia Roberts (even though I can't stand the woman myself) for people to start hating him? What's it going to take?

Is it because Charlie Sheen is whiter and richer than Chris Brown? Most likely. But it seems like other white celebrities have been reamed out for violence. Christian Bale was ostracized for just raising his voice to his sister and felt the backlash forever. And that dude was Batman! What is it with Charlie Sheen that people love so much? How can he keep getting away with this. He needs to have a military courtmarshall or something because clearly the civilian courts are failing. He needs to be shot in the kneecaps.

Anyway, rant over. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, June 07, 2010

Monday Two Three...

Few random things on my mind again. I seem to lack the concentration to just talk about one thing anymore.

For the last few years it seems every summer Tom Izzo is attached to some rumors about an NBA team wanting to draw him away from MSU. It's the only stressful time in my life. Izzo is my guy. He and Chuck Daly are my coaches. It would be devestating to me and to millions of other fans if he left. Apparently Cleveland is offering him a 5 year 6mil per year deal and though I'm fairly confident he won't take it, there's still a possibility. I guess the most frightening thing about it is that Izzo exudes loyalty and confidence. He is currently under contract for the next few years and has said that he wants to win at least one more National Championship with State before he ever considers leaving and I believe him. I believe him more than any other person even remotely related to sports. So with all my eggs in the Izzo basket, if he fails, society fails.

Ants in my pants. Or at least my apartment. For those who haven't had the pleasure of living with me, I'm particular. I like things clean and I like things put back where they go. Ants don't care about this. They are coming out from the gap between the tiles and my bathtub which needs to be recaulked and it's starting to get annoying. I don't kill bugs and I'm not sure what to do. I keep cleaning everything hoping they'll go away on their own since there is nothing for them to feast on but if they aren't gone soon, I'm going to have to poison them which makes me sad. They aren't doing anything to me, but for lack of a better word it's just kinf of gross.

Kids, man. Kids. My bedroom windows face an adjacent condo that houses a family of four. A mom, a dad and two kids. Two little kids. Boys. Two boys about 3 and 5. By all accounts the 5 year old is normal. But man, that three year old loves to cry. Loves it! Like it's his job. All day and all night. In the winter it used to be funny. I would hear them go outside to play and within five minutes (literally) the kid would cry and I would laugh. But now that it's nice out, I keep my windows open and so do they. So I hear this kid cry all day and all night. Sometimes I wonder why this kid is up and I'm pretty sure it's to cry. I bet he sets his alarm to wake up and start crying. Anyway, if my kid cries like that I'm sending him to India.

Anyway, go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Wednesday Two Three...

My parents had their 35th anniversary yesterday. That's a long time to be married to anyone especially when they're polar opposited like my parents are. They celebrated by my dad having the flu and going to bed at 9. Getting old is going to be a riot.

One of my pet peeves is when people gloat about not reading. You know when people say things like, "I don't know who that is because I don't read," or, "I don't read books because they're boring." I think it stopped being cool to pretend you're too cool for reading at like 10 and even then I'm not sure it was ever cool. Maybe 'cool' to not do homework, but watching Two and a Half Men instead of reading a book is what's wrong with this country.

Speaking of my most hated show in the history of television, Charlie Sheen might finally get some jail time for his countless arrests for drug charges, domestic violence, reckless driving and harrassment. Unfortunately since he's a celebrity and has enough money to get rid of everything he's only been sentenced to 30 days which will most likely be commuted for 'good behavior' down to 15 days. Here's to hoping he gets shanked.

Anyway, go big.

-M, p, z & shredder