Friday, July 31, 2009

The Dog Days...

So summer is fleeting fast and I this month hasn't been all that exciting. After a spring filled with travel spanning three different continents not including the US, I am poised to take a short road trip with my mom and my cousin next week. Fun? Not so much. But I'm happy to be going to a few places I haven't been in a bit like DC and Niagra Falls. Should be ok as long as I remember to buy a car adapter to charge my iphone.

The reason I haven't been posting is because my life has been worthless this last month. Nothing new. Work sucks, NYC is hot humid and gross and I have yet to be floored by any summer blockbuster. Star Trek was by far the best blockbuster this year but that came out way back in April. I'm geeked for G.I. Joe even though it looks terrible, it's not ashamed of being dumb. It doesn't look like anything more than it's trying to be, a fun summer popcorn flick that they will hopefully make a sequel to. It will be silly, poorly acted and have major plot holes, but I'll love every single minute of it. Joseph Gordon Levitt is in it and I'll see anything that kid does. Did you guys see (500) Days of Summer yet? He has never let me down and neither has Zooey.

Funny People comes out today and I'm going to see it in about 3 hours so I'll let you know how it is, but I'm hoping that it redeems Seth Rogen who has disappointed me greatly with Pineapple Express and that dumb mall security movie he did and that awful Kevin Smith movie. He's about as good an actor as Scarlett Johansen - Woody Allen is the only writer/director who can make her look somewhat talented and Judd Apatow is the same way with Seth (with the exception of Superbad). Judd hasn't let me down in 10 years and I'm sure he won't start now.

Anyway, this post blooooows. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - from now on I'm going to start posting some things I think are hilarious from over at 'texts from last night':

"(651): Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad."

Wonderful stuff.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Health Care Reform: Part I

Recently there has been a lot of talk about health care reform. I'm generally in agreement with President Obama, and this is no exception. I have been getting emails from and moveon and the other liberal media sites I prescribe to, but what they fail to do is inform you of what exactly the plan is. I understand that right now there is no exact plan, so I guess what I'm saying is that I need a little info before I call me local representative and tell him to back something. I decided to do a little research and have not yet started but will inform you of my findings in part II.

Tonight I tuned in to the president's press conference only to find more of the same in the emails I have been getting. We want reform, we're just not sure in what way that will happen and we need your help. Obviously he has my help and my support in everything he said the reform will do, but will he be able to do what he wants and what shape will the new reform actually take. Well I haven't been hearing a lot of what the GOP thinks of the reform but from what little I do hear, they think it's not going to work. What I want to know is why they think this. Despite my rants and grumblings about republicans, they do believe in some things I believe in and I think health care is one of those that isn't necessarily an ideal of either party. Do I wish health care was available to all patients across the country for free? Absolutely. But at what cost does this come? Does this put a stress on doctors leaving them over worked and less able to perform? Does it put stress on the jobs currently out there working for health insurance companies? Would a mandate make it, in some cases, harder for the very poor to pay their taxes if there is an increase? Does a homeless person share the same benefits as I would?

These are important questions and I haven't exactly heard an answer to any of them, though like I said, I haven't done any research yet. Anyways, just wanted to see what other people think of it and I'll find some stuff out and let you know.

I'm out. As always, go big or go home. You may have noticed some changes in my sidebar - I've put some more links to help you kill time there and also you can now 'follow' me though I'm not sure what that means but I assume it'll send you an email when I write a new blog but if you're anything like me, you don't really need another update email clogging up your inbox - run on sentence over.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

La Cucaracha...

I'm normally pretty passive about things. Not a lot bothers me, and even when it does it still doesn't irk me to my core. I get upset at important things like the Pistons losing, or MSU Basketball or Football - but that's about it.

I live in what can only be described as a neighborhood that is 'hoody'. It's not ghetto and it's not dangerous (or at least I've never felt in danger) but my car has had 2 attempted break-ins, they sell drugs on my corner and people smoke weed/drink 40s on my stoop. These things all build character though. If it were dangerous that would be a different story, a much sadder one that ends with me being cut or stabbed, but it's not so these are just my friendly neighbors. As for my apartment itself, it's a box. I live in a 10 x 10 room with no closet and no bed (I have a fold out Ikea abomination that was not intended for anymore than a weekend visit bed) and there's no breeze the can come through so it's constantly hot and humid.

All of these things are fine and I can live with the constant nuisances. This being New York, and the hood, there are also occasional cockroaches. Not movie sized by any means and in fact are usually no bigger than the nail on my pinky. Seeing one of these tiny bugs once or twice a month is no big deal and it surprises me that there aren't larger ones in a higher quantity. All of this was fine until last night. I was laying on my pathetic couch-bed watching the West Wing before I went to bed as is my usual routine when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. A cockroach - the biggest one I had seen in my apartment (not 'big' but still larger than the nail on my pinky, ran down my curtain. With my room being 10x10 and my bed being in the middle of the room, it was only a couple of feet away from me.

Normally when I see an insect, depending on what it is, I'll either move it or leave it alone - I don't like to kill things and bugs are no exception. But this f*cking cockroach tiggered all my "I hate NYC" rage and I just lost it. This was my reaction: "WTF!! You have to be kidding me?! In my room!!?? You f*cking piece of sh*t cockroach, I'm gonna kill you and your family and every single one of you f*ckers I ever see again for the rest of my life!!" I'm not quite sure why I reacted this way, I guess it was the last straw. But I was yelling at this cockroach like we were stranded on an island and he ate the last coconut while I was asleep.

The cockroach had stopped and was sitting there between a fold in the curtain waiting for me to make the next move. I didn't want to react to quickly because if I missed and he got away, I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing that devious little sh*t was running around my room. So I grabbed a shoe and took a strong but measured swing at the fold. I didn't see him fall and carefully opened the curtain expecting to see his shattered body smashed in the fold. It wasn't. So after running into the living room like a girl and cursing his name a little more, I bravely ventured back into my room only to see him lying on his back, twitching and waiting to be finished. I got him on a piece of paper and grabbed a lighter and took him into the bathroom fully intent on lighting him on fire and taking a picture to post around my apartment so his friends would know what was coming, but by the time I got there he had regained consciousness and was now able to stand and I didn't have the heart to burn him alive so I just flushed him and eventually fell asleep. I guess the moral of the story is take as much shit as you can but if you see a cockroach, kill that motherf*cker dead.

I'm out

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Madness? This is SPARTA!!!

Sorry. Didn't know what else to say for my 300th blog (on blogger anyway). Yay me.

I used to have nice feet. I had nice toes and nice toenails. My feet were soft and smooth and delicate. I often got compliments on how untarnished my feet were. "Oh my, how you have nice feet," or "wow, look at those kickers!" the people would exclaim. Not anymore. I have been running a lot recently. Like Forrest Gump running. "I was run-ning!" It used to be that I would run a mile and I'd call it a day. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It helped get me in shape and it helped me lose weight. That was years ago though. Back in the day. Now to get in shape I need to run more than a mile. So, under direction from Brown Guy, I have a new regimen - run at a slower pace until I can't run anymore. At first this wasn't very long. 20 minutes max (Indians aren't known for their endurance). But over the last few months I finally was able to hit an hour last Monday. An hour. Of running? Sounds silly and pointless and as I look down at this unmovable tire around my waist (despite weighing a 6 year low) it does seem a little silly. But it feels good and I think I might try and do a 10k sometime in the near future.

Which brings me to my feet. I don't mean that I'm standing as I write this, but instead that I now return to the topic of my feet. My beautiful feet. Which are no longer as beautiful. They now have blisters on the toes. And a couple of those blisters have turned black and blue. I'm being somewhat dramatic. My left pinky has a small blister on it and my right index (? the one next to my big toe) is black at the tip (that's what she said). So my question to you is this: what can I do to preserve what is left of my wonderfully brilliant feet? I need inserts but that is more for my knees and my flat feet. But are there inserts for the toes? Is there some amazing sock that absorbs the shock - perhaps they are called 'shock socks' or something like it? Let me know.

As always, go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Harry Potter and Some Stuff That Wasn't in the Book...

Well the movie was about as much of a letdown and disappointment as it could have been. The thing is that it was actually an alright movie, if you're not a fan and have never read the books. This is the second most distorted screenplay of any book I've ever read, with the first being Wanted (the graphic novel) and the third being Everything is Illuminated.

The movie vaguely resembled the book but they changed so much it's absurd. They even made sh*t up which is unlike any of the previous movies. I don't want to get into a whole long rant just yet because most of you probably haven't seen it. Go see it and make up your own mind. It wasn't a bad movie and there were some really funny parts and I thought Malfoy did a good job with his somewhat minimized role. It's worth a viewing if you've got some free time, but please, if you are waiting to re-read the book before you see it - don't.

As always, go big or go home.

I'm out.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, July 13, 2009

Zoological Society...

I've always wanted to be a member of a Zoological Society. It sounds like the coolest thing in the world. I bring this up because yesterday I was at the Bronx Zoo which is actually quite wonderful and exciting (with the exception of the sad pacing polar bear). I'm not sure what happens in a zoological society, but I imagine there are black tie parties where you talk to other people about animals and things animals like.

Anyway, for those of you who don't care about Harry Potter this next paragraph (not unlike the rest of the blog) will be worthless. I'm insanely excited about tomorrow night. I've got my midnight tickets and I'll be there early enough to secure my preferred seats (back row of the front section in the middle). After the last installment my expectations are through the roof so there's really no place to go but be let down. After hearing rumors of plot changes and things omitted from the book, I've already got my reservations but I can't help but think it's going to be the best movie of the year. I'm worried about the PG rating - there is much more death and destruction in this than the first 5 combined so it's a little surprising.

Is it just me or is this summer/year flying by. More so than usual though. I feel like it's only been summer for a week or so and somehow it's already mid-July. What happened to June? We didn't get warm weather until fairly recently so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but I feel like days are shorter and weeks are ending almost as soon as they begin. I hate work and even more than that I hate working in a bar that has dim lighting when I look out a window and see sunshine and blue skies. It's awful.

Sorry my life is so boring these days. As always, go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Summer Breeze...

Sorry, I haven't posted in a bit. With the warm weather, outdoor activities and summer blockbusters, I find my summer blogs are always reduced to nothing noteworthy and nothing interesting, but in an effort to keep you entertained while staring out the window looking at the clock until you can get outside and join the world, I'll do my best to post something, regardless of how inane it is.

There have actually been some things on my mind, but my (very late) lunch is almost ready and I need to eat. So I will just talk about some movies you need to see. First, if you haven't already, make sure you do all you can to never ever see Transformers 2 - you'll die of boredom and waste 2 1/2 hours of your life when you could be doing anything else. That said, if you are lucky enough to live in a city that screens indie movies, go see Moon and Away We Go. Moon stars my boy Sam Rockwell (of Choke and soon to be of Iron Man 2) and is probably one of the most interesting stories I've seen in some time. It takes place on the Moon (obv) but it's not really about that. It's hard to describe without giving any of it away so if you can see it, do so, and if you can't wait til it comes out on dvd.

Away We Go has a somewhat wider release but still might be hard to find but it's definitely worth driving 30 minutes to see. Even though I pretty much despise director Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Revolution Road) he did a pretty stellar job here, mostly because he didn't have a hand in writing any of it. Actually my boy, Dave Eggars (A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, What is the What) co-wrote it and his writing really shows. It's a good movie and a good soundtrack so check it out.

Other than that, HP 6 comes out next Wed (or Tuesday at midnight if you are a huge nerd like me) and you should all see it. As always, go big or go home. Go outside as well...

Swami out

-M, p, z & shredder