About a minute after I woke up this morning I get a text from a friend (heretofore known as Kingsford) that said "Tiger killed his mother-in-law." Being half asleep still, my first thought was it was a lie followed by genuine confusion and acceptance. My internet wasn't working for a few minutes so I briefly ran through a scenario in my head where an enraged Tiger murdered Elin's mom, presumably after another fight and was then subsequently arrested where he'd no doubt by now be in a jail cell surrounded by thousands of reporters and the media feeding frenzy would continue for years. I texted Kingsford back asking if he was serious and he said no and it just occurred to me that this is an easy prank to pull on me on April Fools day. Someone from Tiger's house did go to the hospital, but it wasn't Elin and they aren't dead.
But now that we're on the subject of Tiger once again, I need to talk about the numerous chicks that are coming out of the woodwork claiming affairs. First of all, reports that claim Tiger offered his wife $5 million to whether the storm and another $80 million if she stays with him through 2016 seem so insane that I actually believe it. What's $80 mil when you've got a billion plus. Anyway, as far as the new women going (I think the total number of named women is 7) they seem to be getting better looking, but I swear with each new name Tiger further denigrates any chances he had at redeeming himself. While I don't believe all of them, I assume most of them are true because if I've learned anything about Tiger, it's that he can't be trusted. His transgressions are clearly not transgressions at all and just evidence that he's a sh*tty person. He's just not a good guy and there are rumors that he texted one chick after all this broke out saying he wanted to find a way to try and see her and while I find it hard to believe that he's that stupid, after hearing the desperation in his voicemail and the calm demeanor behind it as though it was okay to be this devious, I don't put anything past him.
As of now I'm still rooting for him on the golf course, he has a talent that we may never see again in our lifetime and I'm not gonna miss out on that because he likes to sleep around, he just shouldn't be married. It's hard to say how he'll be received. For all I know, this may be completely behind him in a few months, only time will tell.
Go big.
-M, p, z & shredder
oh ps - this SNL skit was hilarious
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