Thursday, July 27, 2006

Manly Men...

So this last week and through next week I have been working for a different office within my company to help them with move outs and getting apartments ready for move-ins. Anyways, I am working with about 7 other guys and I have realized one thing: there are two types of guys - dudes and men. I am a dude. Almost all of my friends are dudes. But these guys are men. You can almost hear them chant, "I'm a man, a manly manly man. I'm a man, yes, I am." Let me elaborate.

These guys had a conversation yesterday about cars and motorcycles that I couldn't understand a word of. All I understood was a few words here and there like 'intake' and 'engine'. The only thing I had to add to the conversation was what I learned from The Fast and the Furious. Honestly. Here's a 'joke' I heard two days ago that had everyone chuckling. So this guy who is caulking the tubs and sinks says, "When I heard I was caulking today I grabbed all the 5-in-ones I could find and went straight to my brick saw." That's it. That's all he said. Everyone started laughing and I smiled and acted like I got it. Now I know what a 5-in-one is, but I had no idea what a brick saw was. So I looked it up and from what I gather it's just a saw. I still don't get it. Therein lies the difference between men and dudes. Here are some more differences and ridiculously chauvinistic things I've overheard:

One guy found some paper towels in an apartment and said he was going to take them home so that he could convince his wife to clean to which another man responded, "You mean two black eyes couldn't?".

While they were all talking about their guns (all the men that is), I (more of a nerd than a dude) added some stupid comment about my limited edition Star Wars Episode III light sabre to which I was greeted with laughter. I think the laughing was directed at me and not my joke.

Apparently the louder your truck is the better. Now I hate those trucks that are raised 10 feet off the ground and sound like someones eating a helicopter under the hood but from what I gather not only is that cool but more often than not it means they have also "dropped a small block" in there. I know a small block is a type of engine but it still makes no sense.

If a girl is annoying you, you should either punch her in the face or "dump a bitch." All of the ones who were married hate their wives and know more about trucks than they do about their kids.

"I ain't seen 'em," is probably the only phrase they know. Now while I am always down with a big fuck you to punctuation, these people feel the same way about grammar and the english language in general.

One of the guys had to go to my office for something and when he got there he told Bill (my roommate/co-worker) that there was someone from the office working on his crew. Then he says, "Yeah, some black guy who drives a mercedes." (My subaru's battery was dead so I was driving the benz) To which bill thought, "I dont know any black people who drive a benz." Then the guy goes, 'You know, really tall and skinny." Eventually Bill got that he was talking about me and when I told me that I realized that all of those guys must just assume I am black because I am very dark and have very short hair. This would be fine except for the fact that when they talk about black people they sort of look at me cockeyed and refer to them in what they must think is the most p.c. term there is, "colored guy." They also refer to every other race in almost the most derogatory racist word possible.

Basically I guess I have been in complete denial and living in my own little bubble but Michigan really is a very redneck hick state. Now I dont mean that in a bad ay because despite what I have mentioned above these 'men' were very nice to me and were all good folks. But it does not surprise me anymore that this state was almost a red state the past 2 elections. I couldn't tell you the difference between small town michigan (which is almost al of it) and the southen US.

Anyways thats all for now, as always lift your feet off the ground and keep reaching for the stars, Go big or go home. "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever." Carpe diem.

-M, p&z

oh ps - more blogs to come soon and more frequently including a special farewell to east lansing.... In the mood for a good very funny movie, go see Woody Allen's new movie "Scoop." It's hilarious and very very good. Pretty much the complete opposite mood as "Match Point" which was also very good but very serious.

Monday, July 10, 2006


Aside from Fedderer winning yesterday, every other outcome sucked ass....

First of all Zidane is my boy.

He instantly became my favortie player in the cup after the US was elminated. If you weren't rooting for France (or Ghana) to win then something is wrong with you. His head-butt yesterday was awesome and that douchebag clearly deserved it. Unfortunately Italy won and it was probably because shoot-outs are ridiculously stupid. Do we even need a goal keeper for penalty kicks. I mean unless the guy kicking has never heard of Emilio Estevez and the patented 'triple deke," then the ball is clearly going in the back of the net. The only reason France lost is because some dude kicked the ball as hard as he possibly could and it hit the post and that was all she wrote. Anyways it was a good match but France definitely should have won, they played a muh better game.

Tiger played in only his second tournament since and came in second. Now I think it's great when someone who has never won tournament before wins but seriously, when Tiger is in contention on the 18th on Sunday who cares about the guy who has never won before. I want to see Tiger win every single tournament he enters, and I would really like to see him have a better rivalry with Phil. I mean they are clearly the two best yet they never play well on the same weekend. Anyways, kudos to that dude who won a bunch of money yesterday that wasn't TW.

Do me a favor and if you aren't one of the million people who already saw "Pirates of the Carribean 2," don't see it. Just don't do it. Please. It was not good. I rarely leave a movie theater unhappy with the summer blockbuster I have chosen to see. I mean what is with this summer. First the travesty that is X3 and then this abomination. As of now the exact numbers aren't in yet but it is projected that the movie will make $132 million opening weekend making it the biggest opening ever. The sad thing is that the movie sucked. Honestly, it was ok, but I don't ever want to see it again. I enjoyed about 30 minutes of the 2 and a half hour long snooze fest. On a scale of 1-10 I give it a 2. Please please please go see Superman. It is easily the best movie of not only the summer but the entire year. It was beyond good. Are people really that awful that they would go see POTC 2 over Superman. Sup hasn't even made as much after 3 weeks as Pirates did in one weekend. That is truly a shame. Pirates has no discernable start or finish. It picks up somewhere after the first one (which you better watch immediately prior to watching this film because that's what the director assumed you did which makes it silly if you haven't like myself) and cuts off. The only thing I can compare the lack of an ending to is LOTR: The Fellowship of the Rings, only in that movie I had read the books and I knew what was happening and while it doesn't stand on it's own, it wraps things up nicely so you are excited for the next one. Pirates is a shitty movie that is just another way to get you to spend money on this one and the next one. Don't see either. Trust me. Don't go see it!

Anyways that's all for now. I'm out. As always, get your feet off the ground and reach for the stars. Go big or go home. Carpe Diem bitches.

-M, p&z

oh ps -

For a few years now there has been talk of a live action Transformers and many of us nerds in the online movie community have been up in arms about it. We have spread tons of negativity about it but alas it is no use. Why would I be so against this movie, well for starters Michael Bay is directing it. He is the genius behind Pearl Harbor. Not to mention last night on entourage they rip on him which is hilarious. Also, the odds of them fucking it up are so good that there is no way it can be good. That said, there is a teaser trailer for the movie which is scheduled to open 7/4/07 even though they are clearly going to have to rush to make that target date. Somehow I find myself on the edge of my seat waiting for that movie to come out and I have no doubt that I will have my tickets a week in advance and even worse that I will like it... It's a sad little world we live in...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

It's Been a Minute...

So obviously the first thing to talk about is Ben Wallace. I don't understand people sometimes. Big Ben was truly the heart and soul of not only the Pistons but Detroit Sports. He embodied a work ethic that every single person in the entire NBA admired. I remember the day Grant Hill left the D. He is arguably the most talented player ever to put on a Pistons jersey, yet somehow this one hurts so much more. Grant (my boy) left after paying his dues here, we knew he was leaving and we knew why - he wanted to win and it wasn't going to happen for a long time here. When he left we got Ben and that was the start of the change in Detroit. I remember when we were the worst team in the league, when our record was worse than last years woeful Knicks'. Grant wanted what was best for him but he also had love for Detroit and agreed to the sign and trade that brought Ben here, but Ben, who meant more to Detroit than Grant has ever, would not agree to a sign and trade. Instead he left us with nothing. We were willing to give him his dues and make him the highest paid Piston EVER. I don't understand how he can turn around and say that our offer of 48 MILLION dollars "was dissapointing." Really?? Seriously Ben?!? I was hurt when LB acted like he wanted to coach here but did nothing to show it, but nothing has ever compared to this outright Betrayal. I am conflicted as to whether I should cheer for him at the first Bulls game at the Palace or whether this single act of selfishness outweighs the 6 years of pure heart he poured into this city. Ultimately I assume I will boo his ass and probably hold up a sign that says "Ben Who?" and another one that says, "At least Nazr Mohammed can score!" Ben hurt us fans bad, this one act contradicted everything we stood for. He pretty much said a big fuck you to "Team" "Unity" "Love" and "Heart". Good riddance. Have fun watching the Pistons apotheosis from the bench in Chi-town.

Moving on.... Movies, Music and more....

If you still haven't seen Superman Returns, do yourself a favor and check it out. Don't waste your money on a movie like Pirates of the Carribean 2 which premiers this friday (don't get me wrong, I'm going to see it on friday but you should see superman first). I promise you, you will enjoy it. It will not be the same when you rent it on Netflix, it is a movie you have to see in theatres to get everything you can from it. I think they spent around 240 million making it and promoting it, and so far it has only made around 100 mil. You need to see it now. X Men 3 made 120 million its opening weekend which is stupid, and that movie sucked ass. Bryan Singer is an amazing director and he is the reason people thought X3 would be good. He directed X2 which was the best comic book adaptation until he made Superman Returns. Everyone went to go see that piece of shit movie X3 based on X2, when they should have gone to see superman. Anyways all I can say is for you to go see it.

Music you shoulc go get or download... Dashboard Confessional has a new cd and while Chris Carraba still sings his lungs out he never quite screams his lungs out which always made his songs that much better. It's still a very good cd and it's definitely worth buying or burning from someone who has it. Regina Spektor's new cd is insanely good. If you liked Soviet Kitsch, then you will love this. She is still a little zany but her songs are much more impressive. If you have never heard of her, get on I-Tunes and download the song "Fidelity" off her new album, I promise you it is worth the 99 cents and it will make you want to buy the whole album.

World Cup keeps getting better and better, though without the US in it I find myself rooting for whomever ESPN gave me a reason to, whether it be because the players had been though something crazy or because the country is united and peaceful all pulling for their country. Anyways I am convinced that in a few years soccer (though I prefer calling it futball) will be the new Hockey and Hockey will be exiled to the brink of bankruptcy like the MLS was.

Anyways I guess thats all for now, I will be blogging more frequently as I am sure the Pistons off-season will keep my mind racing. As always, get your feet off the ground and reach for the stars. Go big or go home. Carpe diem bitches.

-M, p&z

oh ps - For the last 10 years I have sworn that "this year the Tigers are gonna be sweet and win the world series." It's good to be right once in a while...

Me yelling at a Morning Glory on the 4th...

Monday, July 03, 2006

Ben's gone...


More words can't seem to come to my mind at the moment but I will try and put my thoughts together soon...