Sunday, November 29, 2009

A Weekend of Excess...

It's 11pm (EST) on Sunday and I'm still full. Not so much from Thanksgiving, just an accumulation of food that kept getting added to a stomach that hasn't been hungry in 5 days - a 5 days in which the most exercise I got was the endless hours playing Halo with Other Guy. Suffice to say it was a fabulous Thanksgiving holiday, slightly marred only by the fact that the Lions once again got trounced on national TV. It's one thing to get dismantled in local markets, but to have it happen in front of a national audience that already expects it makes it sort of hard to swallow, but once this ship rights itself and Stafford and Megatron are the greatest QB/Receiving duo in the league, things will change.

We're just a few days away from December now and I gotta ask, where's the snow? I love the fall, and this weather can't be beat, but if it's not gonna be warm enough for golf, and much too cold for laying out, I think I'd like a little snow. Okay, maybe hold off for a couple more weeks...

Back to the grind tomorrow. Not sure what grind that is, but back to the grind of looking for a grind to get into. Here's my current dilemma - I have a lot of things I'd like to get started in Chicago but as I have no job, I can't very well start scheduling weekly things (volunteering, piano lessons etc.) if I don't have a work schedule. So do I a) wait til I get a job, or b) do whatever I want and figure the rest out as I go? I'm sticking with 'b' for now as that's generally how I roll and why fix it if it ain't broke? Also Plan B is always superior to Plan A because if the latter is so great, why would you come up with the former?

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, November 26, 2009


Despite none of you assh*les giving me any advice on how to get rid of my cold, somehow the Thanksgiving gods were looking down on me last night. I no longer have a fever and feel pretty good. It's a Thanksgiving Miracle. I'm hungry and it's only 10 - I'm going to eat my weight in turkey, and I owe it all to myself for taking medicine, drinking an insane amount of fluids and not doing anything more strenuous than sitting down for two days. I love life.

This is one of my favorite TWW Thanksgiving moments:

Happy Thanksgiving kids. I hope your turkey day is as wonderful as mine. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Miracle...

As many of you know, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's Christmas only without all the commercialization. Family and friends get together and enjoy each others company and don't need to get anyone gifts or anything. As an added bonus the Lions play what is usually their only nationally televised game of the year (though it was better ten years ago when we actually used to win).

This year however, I need a Thanksgiving Miracle. I woke up yesterday with a fever, I had a cough and was achy. I decided to stay in, not go anywhere, take meds, eat soup and watch almost all of season 4 of The West Wing, and by the end of the day my fever had dropped from 101 to 99.9. I figured I'd wake up today and I'd feel great. Unfortunately, I don't. I still feel the same. I slept in as much as I could and my temperature this morning was still 100. I don't really care how, but I need to get rid of this. If I can't shake this thing I'm afraid it's going to ruin tomorrow for me. I don't have much of an appetite and that's a problem.

So if anyone has any quick fix recommendations on getting rid of a cold or a fever, please let me know asap. I can't be sick tomorrow. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Furniture Day...

Yesterday, while driving to apply for this job, I passed what I now refer to as "the furniture district." It was sort of like furniture heaven. In the span of two blocks there were approximately 9 stores all selling furniture with bright neon green and orange signs that screamed, "Half-off," or "3-Piece sets starting at $199!" I knew the day had arrived when I'd finally find some cheap seats to put in my new digs.

So after buying a bed (that was indeed half off) a love seat and matching chair, I left the store feeling great - until I was almost home and realized I forgot to buy a dresser. Oh well, I'll take care of that some other time. My new stuff arrives today but before it does, I'd like to reflect on two weeks on an air mattress. No good. I'm telling you. No. Good. I can't think of a worse way to start and end every day for two weeks than on an air mattress (obviously I'm being dramatic - there are clearly worse ways to do this like being homeless, living in Darfur, being a Celtics fan (ya burnt)). If you ever move into a new place and are debating about bringing your camping chairs until you find furniture, let the chairs win the debate. Having my air mattress be the only place I could sit in my apartment was no fun. Mark Twain jokingly told me to get a bean bag chair and now, a week after laughing at her immaturity, I very deeply wish I had had one for the last week.

Swami out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, November 16, 2009

Blind Date...

Live blogging from a blind or date...

So I'm sitting in my new favorite tea hang-out (I don't drink coffee but I like the ambiance of a coffee shop) applying to jobs and a guy, who looks about 40 and kind of strange, sat at the table next to me. He didn't have a drink and was just looking around so he was only mildly weird. Then, about 3 minutes ago, he sees a woman and calls her name questioningly. He got up to give her a hug so I assumed it was someone who he knew, and he says how are you. She says good and then they sit down. While he is sitting he says, "it's nice to meet you," and this is when I stopped what I was doing and started spying.

This woman, Uba (from the sound of it), does not speak very good English. She's about the same age as the guy and her hair is slightly frazzled - she might be Russian. She seems nice but is clearly nervous. She keeps mumbling and I can hardly hear her even though she is literally 2 feet away from me. This guy is odd, but you can tell he's done this before. He has to repeat himself several times every time he says something and it's getting hilarious. Now he is asking if she is hungry. Haha. She says yes only he can't hear her so he asks again. Oh I guess this is going to be a short post, they are going to go across the street and get dinner. By the way, this dude is wearing a sweatshirt. On a first date. Come on guy. This is clearly not where the magic happens...

These blind daters or internet daters are brave people. There's a scene in The Office (the good one) where Ricky Gervais is doing the internet dating thing and has some hilarious encounters, but mostly extremely awkward conversations. I can't think of any situation where there is more pressure to be awesome. I hope the date goes well but the start was awkward enough to make me want to follow them to dinner go home.

Anyway, if you're one of these brave souls, my hats off to you. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Soul Train...

I had one of the strangest train rides today. I was on the red line heading home after seeing 2012 (save your money and 3 hours of your life - I knew it would be bad but I thought maybe in a good way, but really it was just in a long bad way) and people were dancing. Not just one random person or a group of friends. 5 people in total. Two guys who may have been gay were listening to an iPod and dancing together, two other girls were dancing at the other end and one girl was pretty much listening to her ipod and singing (loud enough for me to hear over my own ipod) and giving her boyfriend a lap dance. No lie. She was doing this in the middle of the train and it was insane. I didn't know what to do, so like everyone else who was normal, I kept glancing back to see if it was really happening.

I'm all for spontaneous dancing, and why shouldn't you be able to dance on a train? But the lap dance girl was a bit much. It's awkward. The other people were having fun. She was having gross.

I'm out. Go big. Dance off.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, November 12, 2009


I've been living here in Chicago for about a week now and I must say, the one thing I completely underestimated was the importance of a chair. Any chair. A place to sit would be so nice now. I'm bumming internet of some guy (and so are about 5 other people that pop up in my local network) and it only works in the living room. The problem with that is that I have no furniture. That's not completely true - I have a bookshelf and a DVD shelf but I have nothing to sit on and nothing to put my computer on if I was sitting. If the internet worked in my bedroom I could be sitting on a somewhat comfortable, but mostly uncomfortable air mattress. So as I type this I'm lying on the floor (hardwood) and spread out like Superman propping my head up with an old blanket I used to pack with because in my infinite wisdom, I also forgot to bring my pillows. It blows.

So to all you lucky assh*les sitting around on chairs, or reading this at work while you rock back and forth on a chair with wheels, consider yourself lucky. Today I'm going to get some furniture. That's my new goal for today. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, November 09, 2009

Monday Two Three...

This format is very easy, so I'm sorry I keep using it instead of the usual digressions and tangents. Also, for the uber bored at work, if you had noticed my frequent blogging, I'm also sorry I took a week off. Without further ado...


Greatest weekend of the year. As usual, my annual golf trip with Other Guy and my brothers from another mothers (usually up north Michigan) was amazing. This year we headed down to Myrtle Beach to experience some southern hospitality and 70 degree weather and chapped lips. I've gotta say, I finally understand people who want to live in warm weather year round. Personally I still love seasons and I still love the midwest, but I can't hate on the warmth or the sun. I've always said that I love all seasons equally but now I think I'm ready to put that silly idealism aside and say that summer is, by far, my favorite season. Everything I love in life is infinitely better in the summer. Don't get carried away though - the only reason I love it so much and appreciate it is because of slow falls, harsh winters and gradual springs. Without these summer would be just another day in LA. So my new resolve is to leave as much as possible and as much as my wallet will allow. A quick trip to LA or a weekend down in Florida is just what I think I need every month or so (or as often as Spirit offers $9 fares) to break up the monotony and get some color in my cheeks.


Many of you know that Weezer is one of my favorite bands of all time. They fluctuate between 1 and 2 so it's safe to say they're tied for number 1 in my heart. Their new album, Raditude, has left me wondering. I like it. I like many songs a lot and some not so much. Years ago after Maladroit came out, I used to yearn for Weezer of old. Well years and years rolled by with no sign of quality lyrics coming from frontman Rivers Cuomo. There were gems that transported me back to 1995 like 'Perfect Situation' off of Make Believe, but I realized that the Weezer that exists now will never be the Weezer I wish they were. I still love them and they're still tied for number 1, but they don't evoke the same sentiment in me that they used to. This album is another in a progression of Weezer albums filled with some radio hits, some ridiculous lyrics and some boring melodies. When I originally heard that they were remaking an old Rivers song, "Can't Stop Partying," I was excited to see what it would sound like. Then I found out that Lil' Wayne was going to be on it. You read that right - Lil' Wayne. While I'm a huge fan of Mrs. Officer and his recent episode of Behind the Music, I'm not a huge fan of his music. It was almost heart breaking that the first artist featured on any Weezer record was such a momentary pop star and not someone that inspired them or someone inspired by them a la Ozma or The Rentals. Whatever. It's a solid album but to be honest, on at least two of the songs, I said to myself, "this sounds like a bad cover of a good All American Rejects song."


It's Comcastic. I don't know if it makes me a nerd or not, but internet is much more important to me than cable tv. I just had comcast come out to install internet (my appointment was between 10-1 and they came at 12:45) and I couldn't be happier. I only watch a few shows and even those I watch on hulu. Now that I have other quality sites I can go to to watch the Pistons and the Lions, I really have no reason to get cable. I mean, I'm gonna try and bootleg it, but it's not worth whatever money they would try and charge me. It's sad that it costs so much though - I'm gonna pay $35 for internet when they are charging other people I know 19. Granted they got digital cable packages but I can't afford that and it irks me that they don't have a discount for people with no furniture who sleep on air mattresses.

Anyways, that's all for now. I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, November 02, 2009

One Two Three...

It's November? I know people say this every year, but this one is really flying by. The older I get, the faster the years go. Just a few things to share with you on this blustery (or as Mark twain would say - 'the wind is blustering') fall day.


I moved to Chicago. That happened fast. Not really. I actually decided I was going to do this back in May. Then August rolled around, followed by September and it wasn't until October came that the ball got rolling and now - 5 months later, I'm a resident of Illinois (although I will never relinquish my Michigan resident status). So far I've spent 2 days there. I moved in Friday, then spent Saturday at Target followed by putting together a bookshelf and putting things away. That was also Halloween which was spent learning a new drinking game called 'fingers' and then proceeding to black out and in the process ditching my Clone Trooper Star Wars costume at a bar and spending the rest of the night in my running shorts and a t-shirt, though I have no idea why. I had to come back to Michigan to give my dad his car back in roughly the same condition he lent it to me. Now I head back and I won't leave the city again for 1 whole day. Then down to SC for a long overdue golf tourney/vacation and then back to the grind next Monday. One of these days I'll be able to settle in...


While getting a haircut the other day, I found myself having a conversation with the lady cutting my hair (I"d call her a stylist but really, at $9.99 she's pretty much a baber). I generally don't like to talk to people while I'm getting my haircut but I had just driven in from new york and hadn't talked to anyone all day so I didn't mind. Anyway after chatting for a bit she mentioned something about the weather in new york. I told her it was generally pretty warm and that the winter's didn't snow very much or get very cold in the city. Then she said, "Oh well maybe that's because of all the emissions from the cabs." I smiled and nodded thinking it probably had more to do with the location of the city, the insulation from the buildings and the fact that they don't get lake effect snow like we do in Michigan but before I could say anything she added, "if you believe in that stuff. I personally think it's silly and not true and they're just trying to scare people." I had no response. I have only come across one other person who 'didn't believe in global warming' but that was Lemon's old roommate's boyfriend and he was an idiot so I just wanted to punch him in the face. But this was a normal person who I didn't know tell me that she doesn't think global warming is a thing. What do you say to someone who thinks that? How do you approach their idiocy without sounding like an ass? I couldn't think of a way and after hearing that didn't say another word until it was time to pay. There's probably a lot of people like her out there and that's a scary thought.


Paranormal Activity. I'm sure many of you have heard the hype. Maybe some of you have even seen it. Personally I don't like horror movies, not because they scare me but because they bore me. Much the same way someone would be bored by chick flicks. They are formulaic and unoriginal and for the most part pretty silly. I can't get scared when I'm sitting there not caring about characters because they can't act, waiting for something to happen that I already know is going to happen. Loud noise. Laughing. Scream. Bad guy. Loud noise. Dead. I get it. The scariest movie of all time is the original Halloween. Jamie Lee Curtis in 1976 was probably the best victim in any horror movie ever. Also there's a scene in The Descent where this chick gets stuck in a crevice in a cave and can't move - it's a claustrophobic's worst nightmare. So I went to see this with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. This worked pretty well I think and despite me kind of hating the guy in it, it had two moments that were genuinely scary. I laughed when Lemon grabbed my arm, but on the reals, sh*t was scary in that scene.

That's all. More soon. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder