Friday, May 28, 2010

Random Thoughts...

The weather is gorgeous again and will be all Memorial Day weekend long, but while all my friends seem to have gone out of town and I'm sitting here waiting for my chicken wings to get here (I'm incredibly gluttonous when no one's looking) I thought I'd share a few random thoughts with you.

While I was taking a shower yesterday, I saw a bug struggling to survive. Is there anything in this world that makes you feel more powerful than that moment when you see a tiny insect in the shower fighting for survival. I'm a sucker and I hate killing anything so I always save them, but really, you're kind of playing god at that point whether the bug lives or dies. It's struggle is always futile no matter how hard it tries. It's up to you to step up and decide it's fate. As if you look over at a fictional emperor waiting for the thumbs up or thumbs down. Maximus the Merciful!

The guy below often comes upstairs to complain that my music is too loud. My music has never been this quiet in my life. In fact, the last time he came up I was literally reading the Economist listening to Miles Davis (that made me sound old). He said it was the bass and I told him I had my sub as low as it it could go and then later realized that it was actually unplugged. I preface with this story to drive home the point that I'm a great neighbor. The guy above me rotates his music selection between opera, techno, and show tunes. Seriously. At a very high volume and often late at night. On a couple occasions I have been tempted to go upstairs and tell him to stop being an asshole, but I think of my asshole neighbor downstairs and think better of it. I mention this now because he is listening to opera and while I don't mind the music, I'm trying to watch Blade: Trinity in peace.

Lastly, this made me happy. He might not be the best on the uke but he's much better than me and he closes his eyes when he sings. You have to love that. I can feel his pain.

Go big. Have a safe long weekend.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Summer Breeze...

The weather here in Chicago has been unreal. Incredible. We had a pretty nice spring and I just assumed that it would gradually turn into summer over the course of a few weeks. But it was 60 one day and then 90 the next and then 95 the next. I'm not complaining, it's just awesome.

I moved away from NYC and to Chicago for many reasons, but the one more than any other was the lake. Beautiful Lake Michigan. Tied for the greatest (no pun intended) lake in the entire world along with Huron and Torch. The last three days I have gone to the beach, worked on my tan (GTL definitely in effect this week) and gone for a quick jump in the water and it's been incredible. And all of this only a 15 minute walk from my front door (or a five minute bike ride). The worst thing about NYC was the summer when it's 90 degrees, humid, disgusting and smelly and all you want to do is jump in the water that you're surrounded by, but you can't. It's aggravating to say the least.

This is everything I hoped it'd be. Sandy beaches, great lake, clear skies and good friends. It has, however, raised some questions about school. Today I was tempted to skip class for the beach when I was thwarted by my new school bff who will heretofore be known as Jesse Spano. She convinced me that I needed to come to class and in retrospect I want to kill her for it. It was a lame class and the one after it was cancelled so really it was just a day not spent at the beach. But I think it would have been better if I learned a lot today so in the future I could tell myself that I'd be missing out. Only time will tell if I skip a class, but let's hope that with age has come maturity and I never do.

I've actually got a lot of things I'd like to blog about and hopefully will very soon but my last blogs were all about drinking and I just wanted to get back on track for a minute. I hope you are all enjoying the weather as much as I am. Coming soon: Top 5 TV shows from this season, Top 5 cereals we used to eat before we got old and Top 5 pop songs for your upcoming summer jam list as well as a look at the Euro. Exciting.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, May 22, 2010


Disregard that last post. Or at least the part about drinking. I was obviously drunk. Ahhhh drunk posting. I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that people thought 'schmoops' was a lady friend when in fact she is just that. I would however like to talk about Arizona for a second.

Fuck you, Arizona. I'm never visiting and never showing you my id.

That's about all I have to say about that. Also, on a side note about how cool and intelligent I am, I've been reading The Economist for the last couple months (only $48 a year!! get a subscription) and can I just tell you how exciting the elections were a couple months ago? No, I can't because you don't know what was going on because you aren't as smart as I am. But seriously, reading it makes me feel like I don't know anything. So we've turned it into a drinking game that is sure to get you blasted: flip through it and every time you have no idea what an article is talking about, you drink. Awesome.

Lastly, I will be blogging more. I think I'm getting the hang of school and 'budgeting my time' and I found that if I can get work done on the weekend, I have a lot more free time during the week.

Whatever. Sorry for being uber lame two posts in a row.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Yo Yo Yo...

Just to clear the air, Schmoops is not my gf. She's not even a make-out buddy. She'd not a date partner. She is, however, my bff in Chicago and she turns 25 (?) on Monday. I didn't realize that people might think we're involved, but let me be clear, I will never blog about a girl who I'm dating, seeing, gf-ing or married to. So relax.

I"m trying to act my age, but it's hard when you spend most of your time surrounded by people who are 23 and remind you of what life was like when you were 23. This is also a testament to my friends here in Chicago who believe that drinking is a fact of life. It's not. But, it kind of is. In my 'indusrty' it's all about boozing and networking so I'm trying to get into that. Tap into my social side. Let's see how it works out in the end. I'm feeling it every time I go out.

I'm a little too old for this, but my tolerance is working it's way up the system.

Go big

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, May 17, 2010

I'm 21 Again...

Apparently. What is happening to my life. Some of you may be jealous, some of you may be disgusted (Brown Guy and Dragon Lady) but for real, my life is regressing. Aside from being back in school and drinking to meet people, Schmoops has turned me into an alcoholic. Another Sunday Funday has turned into me puking in the afternoon and just now (at 2:30am) waking up from my 'nap' which is not good. I already missed my run this morning because I was a little hungover and now have to go to class from 10am to 9pm and will not be going to the gym at 7am like I planned.

Is this even coherent. I'm starting over. I'm drunk. It's late. Here's what happened. I was on my way to the zoo with Schmoops when we passed my favorite margarita place. I say, "Hey, this is the best place to get margaritas. They have these jumbo ones that cost $21 but get you straight twisted." So we walk another block and she says, "we haven't hung out in two weeks, I'm a bad influence, I also hate you so let's turn around and ruin your life." And ruin it we did. Two pitchers later, mid vomit, I realize I haven't eaten anything since drunk Marty ate all my food the night before.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense because I'm still drunk, but if you see me in the streets, grab me, shake me and tell me to get my shit together. Friends shouldn't turn friends into alcoholics. It's okay though, I'm a writer. This is my excuse to a lot of people for a lot of things.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Sunday, May 09, 2010

F*ck AT&T...

Wow. I fucking hate AT&T. Ever since I moved to Chicago I drop calls like Charlie Batch dropped snaps (awesomely dated Detroit Lions reference). Most of you know that I'm from a Michigan/Canada border town. Well, AT&T has always been shitty there and when I'm sitting in my parents house, I don't get reception from AT&T but instead get it from a tower in nearby Canada, which, like Sarah Palin and Russia, I can see from my house. So for the last two years every time I go home, I get roaming charges. At first I was miffed because I thought it would be an issue, but it was no big deal and the charges were taken off. Every time I go home, I get charges, I call, they take them off. This is the way things have gone for over 2 1/2 years.

So last month I went home and this month I had roaming charges. I make my usual Sunday afternoon call and some asshole named P.J. who doesn't really speak English and tries endearingly hard to pronounce his way through bumbled colloquialisms and who doesn't understand what I'm talking about tells me there's no roaming charges (even though it clearly says it on my bill). Then he somehow finds them, mumbles for a couple minutes, puts me on hold, then transfers me.

So some chick gets on the phone and tells me that she can take my charges off but wants to do something so it doesn't happen again. She works for customer service so I'm sure she's trying to sell me something because usually it only takes a few minutes. She then tells me that she can set my account to never get any international signals to which I respond that then I wouldn't get any service at all when I'm home. I tell her not to add the feature and to just take the charges off. She then tells me that she can take the charges off this month but since she offered me the option of not getting the roaming signal, that in the future they can never take off the charges. I tell her that is unacceptable and that I've been doing this for years and why is this happening all of the sudden. She then keeps saying the same thing so I do something I've never done before, I ask to speak to her manager.

Her manager gets on the phone and tells me the same shit, so I tell her that it's fucking ridiculous that I've been doing this for over two years, which I remind her is an inconvenience to me in the first place, and that now when I go home, I'm going to get roaming charges for not even roaming. She has nothing new to say and then has the balls to tell me that according to her computer, the area is serviced well by AT&T. So I tell her that I've actually been there and to look at my phone bill because clearly it's not. She says there is nothing she can do so I say fine, add the feature, get rid of the charges and I'm switching to Verizon. But I'm not done bitching. So I ask to speak to her boss or her bosses boss or someone I can bitch to and I'm currently waiting on a call back from whoever that may be...

Wow. So I waited a couple hours for the phone call that was supposed to come in less than 30 minutes. This is officially ending in war.

-M, p, z & shredder

Happy Mothers Day...

I had the most hilarious train conductor (is that what they're called in the city?) on Friday morning. He pops on the overhead speakers and says, "This isn't a traffic update, but I just wanted to say Happy Mothers day to all the beautiful mothers out there. Also happy ladies day. All ladies are beautiful in general and whether you're a mother or not, you should be celebrated. I just want to thank you all for spending this beautiful Friday morning with me."

This guy made me happy for mulitple reasons. First, who does that? Second, it was a rainy morning and when I got on the train, the clouds parted, the birds were singing and it really was a beautiful morning and this dude put a smile on a lot of people's faces. Also, it just dawned on me that either he was as happy as I was or he was on drugs, and that would be scary to have a train operator be that high.

Anyway, happy mothers day. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, May 06, 2010

RIP Ernie...

Posted this on fb but in case no one saw it, it's pretty sweet. He will be greatly missed. He really was the voice of summer.

Go big

-M, p, z & shredder

ps - I don't know how people deal with being busy. it's the worst. I'll blog more soon, I promise.