Sunday, December 26, 2010

Detroit Lions...

So for the first time since 2007 the Lions won 3 games in a row and for the 1st time since 2004, we won 2 in a row on the road. Some may laugh and joke, but for those of us who have remained positive and steadfast in our love for the Lions, today was just what we needed. Our own little Christmas miracle. Down by 10 with less than 5 minutes to go, we force the Fins to punt, then one play to get a TD and an interception on the next drive to get a field goal to tie it followed by another INT for 6 to go up by 7 - all in less then 2 1/2 minutes.

Damn is feels good to be a Lion.

With a win next week, we'd finish at 6-10 and after you count the two games the Bears cheated in, we are 8-8 - good enough to win the division and make the playoffs. But we'll have to settle for watching the Bears get killed in their first game, and a Superbowl victory for the 2011 season.

Go big. Go Lions.

-M, p, z & shredder


Just wanted to wish everyone a merry christmas. I posted this on fb, but since fb sucks now, I figured I'd post it again. Also, I plan on blogging a lot more in the next week to make up for my lack of doing so in the past month or so.

Scrooged is my favorite Christmas movie and it seriously gets better every year. In a very close second and third are Love Actually and Elf.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

A Cold Winter...

You know what was nice? About two weeks ago when it was 65 degrees and I was complaining about global warming. You know what is not nice? Today, rolling through the drive-thru at Burger Kind and my windows not going down because they were frozen shut. Opening my door to order fast food is all kinds of sad. Luckily after hitting it a few times, it finally went down (that's what she said).

I've spent most of my life preaching about seasons and how much I love them all, even winter. Well my friends, I'm going to say something that I never thought I'd say: I wouldn't mind moving somewhere warmer. I don't need SoCal or even NorCal, but maybe something a little more moderate in the winter. Maybe North Carolina or just anywhere below 40 degrees latitude. The older I get the worse it is. My knees hurt and my body stiffens and I'm only 28 which leads me to wonder why my parents don't spend winters in India. I suppose they would have to retire to do that, but when I'm their age, you can find me on a beach in Mexico.

Give me two weeks of snow over Christmas and then head back to wherever it is I docked my boat (apparently in the future I'm rich). Anyway, just something to think about as you wrap yourselves up to brave the winter.

As always, go big. I'm out.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, December 02, 2010

The Lions...

I still have faith that we can win some games. Call me crazy but next year I see us going to the Superbowl. Before we get there, we need to shed the stigma associated with us. We're not as bad as people think, but this Simpsons clip kinda hurts.

Anyway, last time we played the Bears we beat them but then they cheated so we lost. Hopefully this weekend they won't change the rules on us.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

RIP Leslie Neilson...

Sad news from the weekend. One of the funniest people on Earth passed away. Leslie Neilson is the first person who ever introduced me to wordplay and deadpan comedy. I still remember watching Airplane for the first time and having my socks knocked off. The world is surely a less funny place without him.

I'm out

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tuesday Slowdown...

I love the days leading up to a Holiday. There's something about them that is just so relaxing. Time moves a little slower in anticipation and the days seem strange like a sick day, but that might be because I generally at school at this time of day. Anyway, with Thanksgiving coming up in two days, aka the greatest day of the year, I thought people might be heading out to the movies. So here are some trailers that just came out that I'm really excited for, and even though they aren't out yet, you can still share in my excitement.

The first is Source Code. If Jake does half a good a job as Sam Rockwell in Moon, Duncan Jones' second film should be an absolute gem. It's reminding people of a cross between 12 Monkeys and Groundhog's Day which are both amazing on their own.

The second is The Green Lantern. I love Ryan Reynolds and after reading the comic, I was skeptical about how cool of a character Green Lantern actually was, but this movie is going to be awesome, though I'm a little weary of Blake Lively's presence.

The last is True Grit. I'm actually a big fan of the original starring John Wayne and was not excited about the Coen brothers having their take on it, though in their defense I'm in the minority when it comes to disliking No Country for Old Men and hating There Will Be Blood, but this looks really really good.

As always, go big.

I'm out.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, November 08, 2010

Monday Two Three...

I've had a few images on my desktop I've been meaning to share with you and since I have a few minutes on this slow moving, unseasonably balmy Monday afternoon, I thought I might as well share them now.

First is a girl I stumbled across while researching Asics for school. Her name is Amee Enger. Basically, she's just really good looking.

Next we have quite possibly the greatest way to play golf ever.

Finally, this picture is pretty self explanatory. This is kind of what it feels like to drink Four Loco.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Best Commercial Ever...

I have been loving the new Call of Duty commercials for a couple weeks now, but yesterday, Other Guy told me to youtube the Kobe Bryant one. I just watched it. And then watched it about 50 more times. And now I'm sharing it with you:

Oh how I wish this were a Halo commercial instead one for COD.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

I Hate Tayshaun Prince...

You all know my love for the Pistons and it is with great sadness that I speak of our season as I do below, however, I can't keep my mouth shut about how terrible we are so far and how far Tayshaun has fallen. I hate that dude. The following is an email I sent to some people that I thought I'd share with you:

How funny are the Pistons right now!?? I went from being embarrassed for them, to being embarrassed that I'm a fan. As if KG calling CV31 a 'cancer patient' wasn't funny enough, we got demolished by them and he had nowhere to go but cry to people on twitter. What a bitch. Then Tayshaun, the worst starter in the NBA, is fucking gully enough to tell the fans (ME!!) that if we don't have anything nice to say, we shouldn't say anything at all!!!! Are you fucking kidding me??!!! I have been Pistons fan for 28 years and I can say whatever the fuck I want to about whomever I want to. He's ridiuclous.

But the fun doesn't end there. Apparently, there is some confusion as to who is to blame. Keuster, who isn't the best coach in the league but certainly better than Curry, thinks that the players need to find some leadership amongst themselves (which is hard to argue with yet it makes me wonder where Big Ben is in the locker room) and Tay says it's Q's fault. Tayshaun is rapidly becoming the Randy Moss of our team. Next thing you know he'll be talking shit about Rock Financial and calling out Mike Illitch. Fuck Tayshaun. In the words of Agent 0, he needs to be "traded for some lint and a pack of skittles." Fuck that motherfucker. I hate him. I hope he turns into Mr. Glass and falls down some fucking stairs.

I'm out. Go Hawks.

-M, p, z & shredder

Not Bad For A Basketball School...

So MSU finally lost on Saturday. Bummer. Huge bummer. Going 8-0 and being ranked number 5 is as exciting as our football team has been in my decade of following State football. I don't mind the loss so much, mostly because getting to 8-0 was unexpected. We have one of the hardest schedules in the country and we still have a shot at going to the Rose Bowl. I just wish we didn't drop 11 spots to #16 for one loss, while Iowa, with two losses, is ranked 15.

But I suppose those are the breaks. We will most likely win out and hopefully that is enough to get to the Rose Bowl, a game that means more to me than if we had gone to a BCS Fiesta bowl, though hopefully the Rose Bowl is a BCS game this year, because that would be nice as well. I doubt Ohio State will lose again, but I'm hoping for it. It would be great to be outright champs in the Big Ten. In any event, it's been a great season filled with hope, 32oz mugs at Tin Lizzie, the greatest trick play of the season and a lot of good times. I just hope they keep rolling.

In other news, MSU Basketball kicked off pre-season with a 44 point victory. We aren't #2 in the Country for no reason. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Charlie Sheen...

As Mark Twain thoughtfully pointed out to me, I forgot to mention something that I love bringing up. Charlie Sheen threw another log on my hate fire yesterday as he was once again the subject of being a terrible human being and a plight on the universe, and yet again, he gets away without even a slap on the wrist. For those who haven't heard, he once again wound up drunk and high off of cocaine. This time he trashed his room at the Plaza Hotel and some reports have him being naked and alone (like an asshole) when the cops came to his room. Apparently the hotel isn't pressing charges which is a shame.

On the plus side, he's still technically on probation from his last domestic abuse charge (when he held a knife to his wife's throat - on Christmas - and didn't go to jail) and I'm hoping a judge will see him being drunk and coked out as some sort of violation of his probation. If there's Vegas odds on this, I'm banking on this fucker not going to jail. Why do people like him? How can he keep getting away with this? It's not right. Lindsay Lohan, no saint herself, has done far less in her life and been far less reckless and endangered far fewer people, yet somehow has gone to jail for every little thing she does. And at least she's a talented actress who, once upon a time, was smoking hot.

I just don't get it. Mostly I don't get why anyone likes him, the worst show in the history of television, and his dumb haircut. He needs to overdose, but not so he dies, just so he can't walk anymore or something equally terrible. Either that or have an Agent come in from the Matrix and cover his mouth permanently.

Erase the hate. I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Movie News...

Good news out there for you movie fans. 3 interesting little tidbits making their rounds today are very exciting to nerds and maybe even a few other people. We'll start with the biggest.

Warner Bros. announced the official new Batman title. Apparently it's, "The Dark Knight Rises." I'm pretty happy with that. If this is indeed Nolan's last outing at the helm for Batman, it sounds like it'll have somewhat of an ending. Either that or hopefully he sets it up where he can do a 4th one. And a 5th. And then a crossover called 'Batman: Inception' where Batman pulls an inception on all the bad guys but has to fight them in different dream levels. That would be ridiculous. Also Nolan squashed any hopes of seeing The Riddler, but I assume that Two Face will be back and also another fine cameo from The Scarecrow.

Second, James Cameron has finally confirmed shooting dates for the Avatar sequels. We'll be seeing 2 and 3 in 2014 and 2015. I can't wait. I loved Avatar and if he can make them as engrossing as that was, and as stunningly beautiful, then he'll have another couple billion dollars to his name.

Lastly, a few random things. 22 days until the new Harry Potter. Most of you don't care about that, but I'll be waiting on the edge of my seat until then. Also, Tony Scott has announced he's going to make Top Gun 2 which is pretty dumb, but the plot seems ok. It's about how technology has changed the Air Force and how it's about computer savvy nerds who now fly unmanned drones. It would be much cooler if it was about Maverick being called back for one last mission and they unfroze Goose's preserved body to fly with him.

Anyway, that's it. I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, October 25, 2010

Today in WTF News...

So, you know Hiccup-girl? Apparently she really is crazy. I figured she had something going on after reading a long time ago that there was no medical reason for her hiccups. Anyway, she's wanted for murder.

WTF, girl?

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Nicole R...

While yelping the other day, I came across my new enemy. She's the absolute worst. Read her reviews, it'll make you want to punch her in the face. Examples:

About a gym:
Its never TOO crowded, but got pretty bad back in january when all the new years resolutions people started coming. But thats over and they are back to their fatty ways.

About a bar:
There was a large group of Young men in Affliction/Ed hardy gear who were quite an eyesore. I asked one of them why he had a large eagle on his button down, to which he replied "this is old, i just threw it on to come out." I told him i thought it would be nice if more men wore a nice shirt and suit jacket to come out and suggested he take a trip to banana republic ASAP. He said he had never been there and only wears that stuff to funerals. God, why are some people so clueless?

About a restaurant:
Attracts people from the suburbs, lots of fake sushi covered in mayo and cream cheese (ew), cooked fish etc. AND to make it worse, they have turned into a chain that has locations in the burbs. EW EW EW.

I'm officially going to turn the internet into my tool to making this girl feel miserable. I don't know how or what I'm doing yet, but stay tuned. Anyone who uses the word 'ew' is a shitty human being and a raging bitch.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Western Spaghetti...

I've been meaning to share this with you kids but keep forgetting. It's awesome.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Do You Have The Day Off?...

Sorry for the delay. I've been swamped with school during the week and sports during the weekend. But I return to you now, in your hour of need. With a tale of great hilarity.

So yesterday I was in the gym gettin my swoll on as usual. I was working next to the lat pull down bar and this guy pointed to the bar to ask if I was using it (I had headphones on so I couldn't hear him). Then about ten minutes later, he eye contacts me into taking out my headphones because he has to ask me something. He says, "Do you have the day off today?" I explain to him that I'm in school and I don't usually get there until around 11. I have never seen nor said anything to this guy before and thought it was a bit strange that he would ask that out of the blue but didn't think much else of it.

After my work out, I headed down to the locker room to check my weight while simultaneously trying to avoid eye contact with any penises. So I'm weighing myself (159.4 - ugh, I can't, for the life of me, stay above 162 for a week) and I hear two guys in the back (my headphones were on but my music was off) discussing what happened to me. Apparently in the gay neighborhood I live in, asking someone if they have the day off is basically asking them if they want a little afternoon delight.

Good thing I said I didn't have the day off.

Much more to come soon. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Extreme Two Three...

Just a few randoms going through my mind today to share with you.

What's the deal with shaving cream? Why are there so many different kinds. I ran out of razors for my Gillette Fusion and decided to take the opportunity to make the switch to the new Fusion ProGlide which is supposed to make shaving suck less. After one shave I'm impressed but we'll see how it holds up after repeated uses. I will say that it's better at getting the hard to reach hairs right under your nose. While I was in the aisle I was looking at all the different shaving creams and recalled something Socrates once mentioned during college about toothpaste. He wanted to know why there are so many types of toothpaste when they all do the same thing with the same ingredients. While I can understand some variety in toothpaste, it's even more ridiculous in shaving cream. There should be two options: cream or gel. Not 'Gillette Fusion HydraGel Pure & Sensitive.' What the f*ck is HydraGel?

Back to the Future is getting a limited re-release to celebrate the 25th anniversary so if you're lucky enough to have it playing in a theater near you, you should check it out. It's definitely one of the greatest trilogies ever though some people would argue that the third one isn't nearly as good as the first two.

I love the Jersey Shore. I mean, the drama is completely ridiculous and I can't stand any of the girls in the house, but the dudes are awesome. And not even all of them. I've said this quite a bit before, but if they make a show with just Pauly D and the Situation (and call it that as well) I would buy that on dvd. That would probably be the funniest buddy-buddy comedy since Rob & Big. They are so ridiculous and yet so much like how most guys act that you can't help but see everything from their point of view and agree with them about everything. Maybe a lot of it is me being vain and loving myself as much as they love themselves, but aside from all the tanning and sexual promiscuity, they pretty much act like dudes who just wanna fun which I completely understand.

(video courtesy Kingsford - I am in love with this song now)

Anyway, more tomorrow. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Is it just me or did milk used to stay good a lot longer. It seems like every time I go to my fridge to finish off the milk a day before the expiration date, it's not good anymore. I do the quick smell check and it's rancid. And this is before the actual expiration date! They should just stop lying to people. I say this because last week I was craving cereal and my milk went bad. The day before. Today? I went to make a protein shake (GTL in effect) and it was already bad. 2 days before! I'm considering filing a grievance with someone. Hey lawyers, do I have a case? What if I drink it and then get sick? Does my case get stronger?

Anyway, I just wanted to see if it was just me or if this was happening to everyone out there. I guess there really is no use crying over spilled spoiled milk. Go big or go home. 

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Late Addition...

So I know I put up my top three hot chicks a few weeks ago, but I'd like to add one to the list (which puts it at 4 if you're a mathematician, thus I will probable add another one soon to make it a nice even top 5). Katy Perry has been around for a while but I seemed to have missed the memo that she is a dime. I mean I've seen pictures before, but maybe it's just that I was too busy being annoyed with her music to pay her any mind. In any event, she's crazy good looking. I think it was at the VMAs that I took notice, but really it could have been the google imaging when it became love.

Anyway, here at number 4 (I guess) is my new flame:

If she isn't in your top 5 or 10, there's something wrong with you. Plus she kissed a girl and apparently liked it.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Harry Potter and Some Stuff That Wasn't in the Book...

So I know I spend a lot of time hating on how much HP 6 was different from the book and how the movie was, at best, a poor man's version of the book, but I'll be damned if this doesn't look good.

That's all for now. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Wedding Daze: The End...

I guess I'm skipping the rest of the stories from my long wedding weekend. I just had my last wedding of the season and it went out with a bang. My boy Danger just had his wedding and it was your traditional blackout bombardment of family and friends. It was exciting, fun and thank god they're all over. I know Mark Twain is reading this wondering whether her wedding was the best and though hers was indeed fantastic, they were honestly all incredible in their own way. I will say that I did shed more tears at hers than any others.

Getting married seems like the biggest pain in the ass in the world. How can all that planning be fun? You know what would be nice? Telling someone everything you want and not needing to micro-manage anything. Just saying, 'here's what I want, here's the money and here's the date. See you then.' That would rule. But that doesn't happen. People plan and worry and stress and somewhere along the way this summer someone mentioned to me that something like over 50% of married couples don't get jiggy with it on their wedding night because they're too exhausted. Wtf.

That said, I'm a sucker for marriages. At this most last weekend I told my friends not to be surprised if I start to tear up when I noticed they were reading their own vows. There's something that pulls at the old ticker when people start speaking from the heart. I'm a sucker for a wedding and to steal from 27 Dresses, my favorite part really is watching the groom when he first sees his bride walk down the aisle.

Anyway, enough with the love. I'm gonna start ranting about something soon. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

27 No More...

As I sit here, 1 hour away from being 28, I can't help but think how much has changed in this last year if my life. I started the year living in Manhattan, moved to Chicago, decided to go back to school, started school and as of this Thursday will be halfway done with school. In the middle of all that, I made new friends, Tiger Woods slept with some ugly chicks, multiple friends got married and all the while I kept getting better looking.

I realized two things in the last couple of days. The first I learned last night while waiting in line at Game Stop at midnight for the release of Halo: Reach - no matter how nerdy I am in how I live my life, I do not belong at a Game Stop at midnight. Those people were insane. White guys with dreads, fat kids who don't user deodorant, kids who still dress all in black and then about 45 people deep in the line was me, clad in sweatpants and a t-shirt, just waiting to pick up the game and get out. I might be a nerd, but I'm a also pretty awesome and I'm glad I'm not like them.

The second is that no matter how much I hate getting older, I really don't feel any older. I suppose this goes along with the old adage that you're only as old as you feel and in my case, that's right around 21. Granted my knees and my back keep me from believing it, but I firmly agree with the sentiment. I would surmise that it has something to do with the fact that I'm not any more accomplished at 28 than at 21, at least financially and in fact was making more money then than I am currently. But I also think that maturity isn't something you attain, but rather something that evolves around you. I'm always going to laugh at farts and think hitting things out of people's hands is funny, but I also don't act like I'm 12. I still watch cartoons and still play video games, but I'm capable of being fastidious and paying bills.

The moral of today's rant is this, and this goes to my contemporaries and those readers who have recently delved into the realm of being a 'Thirty-Something': it's okay to grow up, but never grow old.

I'm out. As always, go big. Keep your feet on the ground but keep reaching for the stars. Life's short, live large. Pain heals, chicks dig scars and glory last forever. Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.

I'll catch you all on the flip side.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Thusday Two Three...

I'll get to Part II-IV soon, but first I just had a few thoughts I wanted to share.


Denard Robinson looks legit. I don't know if any of you watched the Michigan game or saw highlights, but he looks like a little Michael Vick running around out there (without the obvious canine affiliations). That said, they beat Connecticut, can we slow down the "Michigan is back" rhetoric. Not that State beat anyone good, but people aren't going crazy over how good Cousins is even though he had a great game. People are going nuts over D-Rob when really, it's only been one game over the school with the best Women's Basketball program in the country. Let's maybe wait until they beat a not very sharp looking Notre Dame team this weekend before we start moving them up in the rankings.


I'm sure you've all seen these new Blackberry commercials where someone is talking about how they can instantly send messages to other people through BBM. Then they have a story about how some guy saw something and took a picture and was instantly sharing it with his friends. Is it just me or does it seem like they're promoting texting. Like they just invented it. Oh my god, they can send pictures in texts?!! Stop the presses! It's kind of like the "I'm a PC," campaign which is pretty stupid.


Saw this video and nearly died laughing. It's one of those things you keep watching over and over because it honestly get funnier every time.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Movie News...

Just wanted to pass this along to folks who might live in places that show 'limited releases' like NYC, Chi or LA and hopefully a few others. These movies come out on the 10th and look awesome:

Also the aforementioned Bran Nue Dae. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wedding Daze: Part 1

I've never been one to agree that Labor Day was the official end to the Summer. For one thing, I haven't been in high school for over a decade so it's definitely not because I'm going back to school. For another, if I look at a calendar it also tells me Summer doesn't end for another couple weeks. That said, if this was indeed Summer's last hurrah, I went out with a bang. In four days I had two weddings on two coasts for two friends. The following is what went down.

Part 1:

It started out last Thursday, Nebraska was kind enough to take me to the airport and I was happy enough to let her. I left Chicago around 11 and arrived in San Jose around 1. The flight was perfect. I slept for 2 1/2 hours and woke up just in time to watch The Karate Kid and then we landed.

After arriving in San Jose, Leadright and his bride-to-be picked me up and I spent the next 5 hours before the rehearsal running errands with the groom and wondering why anyone would want to get married; there's so much to do! So we finally get to the rehearsal about a half hour late and surprisingly no one is stressed. We do our thing and the wedding planner tells us how we're going to stand. Simple right? Not so much.

Dinner was delicious and afterward Leadright and I retired to his apartment to burn every guest a wedding cd, only to have the computer 'crap out' on us and instead we spent it looking up funny videos on youtube and spinning on his turntables. I learned a few things over the course of my day with him, 1) A marriage might be about two people, but a wedding a colossal pain in the ass and is all about the bride, 2) there is a ton that goes into planning a wedding and there's not enough time to do it and 3) groomsmen are there to have fun, get drunk and give the groom his sanity back before he gets married.

Anyway, that's all for now. Parts 2-4 coming soon. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder 

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Top Three...

Speaking of hot chicks, there has been a change to my top 3. I feel compelled to share her (and the rest of my list) with you in case you have the same taste as me. This is my top 3 hottest celebrities - though if you throw in personality and people I love, then the list gets too convoluted. Let me know if you agree with any of these.

3.) Emmanuelle Chirqui (Sloane from Entourage) was in this spot but as of yesterday has been bumped for Rosie Jones. I stumbled upon her while researching for some ads yesterday and it was quite possibly the best stumble upon ever. She's a British model and possibly the hottest one out there.

2.) Meagan Good whom you may remember as the girl in 50 Cent's '21 Questions,' or from that movie 'Biker Boyz.'She might not be the greatest actress but she's pretty good looking when she's doing it.

1.) Eva Mendes who everyone knows, has been my number 1 for a long time and I really don't see anyone stopping her anytime soon.

Anyways that's my top three, though looking at these pictures now, Rosie could very easily be number 1. Consider them all a tie for 1st depending on the day and mood. This is just in case someone says, "Hey, who are the three hottest chicks?" This is my answer.

-M, p, z & shredder

Best Dressed: 2010 Emmys

So I have been terrible at blogging this month. Not much else doin these days except for school and that isn't terribly exciting or noteworthy. The Emmys were on this weekend, if you missed it you didn't really miss much. I turned it off around 930 after Mark Twain left because it was taking forever to get to the good stuff and it really wasn't good enough to wait around for. But there were some good lookin ladies on the red carpet and as usual, I have a top 3.

3. Dianna Agron - better known as Quinn

2. Jayma Mays - Another good looking girl from Glee - she's pretty much a dime.

1. Nina Dobrev - I've never heard of her before but let's get real - she's a 10.

Anyway, I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Looking Forward To...

Sorry to keep double posting, but these movies look really good and you probably haven't heard of them, so I thought I'd enlighten you and hopefully you can find out when/if they'll be coming to a theater near you.

Also this documentary looks incredible:

I'm out for reals this time. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

The Reviews Are In...

As most of you know, I enjoy a good movie hop. I love to see movies, and as poor as I am, can only afford to see all the ones I'd like to if I movie hope to three or sometimes four movies. Well this weekend I was backed up. So I recruited a friend who will heretofore be known as Texas, to movie hop with me as he's done so a couple times before and has been the only one to show a desire to keep doing so with me, aside from Lemon. So I set a goal of breaking my record of four in a row and attempting five with mutterings of a 6th.

The day started out looking like I wouldn't movie hop at all. I woke up at 8:30 still drunk from the night before (Thursday night is the only night I go out - how can you pass up $1 bottles?) after only sleeping for less than 5 hours. I called Texas and asked him if he was still up for it. He mumbled a yes and I threw a bunch of food and water in my backpack and set off. After 13 hours of straight movie watching we had successfully done a 6-movie movie hop all for the low low price of $6. It was glorious. We even had Jesse Spano come meet us in the middle for three of those. Here's the breakdown:

10:05 - The Middle Men - Luke Wilson did a good job in a bad movie. A movie that was about the guys who invented internet porn with a Wilson starring should have been funny. It wasn't. Don't recommend even netflixing this.

12:20 - The Expendables - After years of waiting for this movie, I was not disappointed. The action was awesome, the one-liners were in full effect and Mickey Rourke actually put in some effort to act a little and it ended up being a successful action romp.

2:20 - Scott Pilgrim vs The World - Best movie I've seen in some time. It was awesome. The movie was hilarious, well acted, incredibly directed and pretty perfect overall. Edgar Wright knows his way around a graphic novel. I've only read a couple of the comics but this is exactly what I was hoping for.

4:45 - The Other Guys - Oh Adam McCay, I knew it would be hard to top Step Brothers, but this was a flop. There were some hilarious moments, and I didn't hate it, but if not for Middle Men, this movie would have easily been the worst of the day. Save your money and catch it on netflix in a few months for a lazy Saturday afternoon or to put on in the background.

6:45 - The Switch - Jason Bateman and the kid really stole the show and actually, I'm pretty sure that was the point. The movie became about them in what turned out to be a really good chick flick. Not the funniest movie ever, but it was definitely something I'd watch again.

9:05 - Get Low - If you haven't seen the preview for this, you should. It was the only indie we saw yesterday and it was really good. Great acting from Robert Duvall and Bill Murray was hilarious as usual. I pretty much laughed in every scene he was in. If you can find a theater near you that's playing this, watch it. Not a comedy but a really good story with a surprising number of laughs.

Anyway, I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Also this cover is pretty sweet. Enjoy.

More soon. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder


I've only blogged once this month! That's crazy. Sorry, I've been busy. I have lots to talk about but not enough time to talk about it. I posted this on FB earlier today but since many of you aren't as avid on the book as I sadly am, I thought I'd post it here. I have many thoughts about this but KO pretty well sums up my feelings about the absurdity behind a lot of the backlash.

As always, go big or go home.

I'm out

-M, p, z & shredder 

Friday, August 06, 2010

Wedding Daze...

Next week starts a semi-marathon of weddings. I have 4 weddings in four weeks. That itself is unremarkable, but what's crazy is that two are over labor day weekend. I just booked my tickets and after getting over the sticker shock, I slowly accepted how tired I'm going to be after the weekend. Fly to San Jose on Thursday for Leadright's wedding on Friday. Leave at 6am on Saturday for Mark Twain's wedding on Sunday and then back in Chicago on Monday. It's going to be a long, drunk jetlagged weekend but I'm pretty sure it's going to be worth it.

In the future I think any of my friends that are getting married should just get married in Michigan or Chicago. It's much easier for me to get to. Thank you.

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Bad Boys...

The Bad Boys of 88-89 were recently voted in Sports Illustrated, the second most hated team of all time. You gotta love the hate.

"Between the joy of Magic and the majesty of Michael was the dark and frightening rise of the Bad Boys. They threw hip checks like the Red Wings and were as mean as any boxer in Kronk Gym. Outside the state of Michigan, you wanted these guys in handcuffs. Never has an NBA team been so easy to detest, what with Rick Mahorn throwing forearms, Dennis Rodman elbows and Bill Laimbeer fits. (Somewhere, Laimbeer is probably still whining to the refs). Worst thing about them? They were a great basketball team. For all their roughhousing, the Pistons could light up the scoreboard with anyone -- Isiah Thomas flashing that sneaky grin as he beat you off the dribble, Joe Dumars locking up opponents and knocking down threes, Vinnie (Microwave) Johnson throwing in jumpers from everywhere. Fact is, the Pistons helped end two dynasties (Magic Johnson's Lakers and Larry Bird's Celtics) and delayed the start of a third (Michael Jordan's Bulls). They were bullies in basketball togs, but they could play."

Peace out. I'll catch you all in August.

-M, p, z & shredder


Get it while it's hot kids (before it's taken down anyway). Early trailer of Thor from Comic-Con. It's pretty awesome. Branagh seems to be doing a great job and it looks to fall into place perfectly for The Avengers. Enjoy it while you can.

Thor - Comic-Con Trailer [VO]
Uploaded by Eklecty-City. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Kill Me...

My dream job, as far as starting jobs in the biz go, was just posted:

Job Posting Date: 07/29/10
USA’s PSYCH seeks energetic, multi-taking, self-starter to fill PRODUCTION ASSISTANT position. You will be part of a production team working in the Manhattan Beach Writer’s Office. Responsibilities include answering phones, running errands and general office assistance. Great entry level position into production.

Granted, I don't do that anymore since I started school. And I live in Chicago and not LA. But, I'm sending out a resume regardless.  Fingers crossed my friends. Hopefully this will be my in to slip in the screenplay for an episode that I wrote.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, July 26, 2010

Shake Your Money Maker...

You know what I find hilarious? When NBA players say they need to do what's "best for them and their family," when considering offers from teams. I'm pretty sure when you're making between 5 and 20 MILLION dollars a year, anything is best for your family. I'm pretty sure that's more than some countries National GDP.

This isn't new, but I was hoping that the Latrell Sprewell incident many years ago would have made people seeking more money a little more hesitant to do so. For those who don't know, Latrell Sprewell famously turned down a 3 year $27,000,000 contract (which breaks down to 9 mil a year for you non-Asians who can't do math) because he claimed it wasn't even enough to feed his family. Granted the dude had like 5 kids, but I'm pretty sure he could somehow scrape by. After turning the offer down presuming he would get more money, not only did Minnesota not offer him more money, but no other team offered him anything. He never played again. I'm pretty sure he could use that money now.

I mention this now because it seems every time there is a period of free agency in pro sports, like there is now in the NBA, players always use that as their excuse to leave a city where they're loved (i.e. Ben Wallace in Detroit) to go somewhere else for more money. This is why there's no rivalry in sports. Jonny Damon to the Yankees?! (though I do love him now that he's a Tiger). LeBron to Miami?! Ron Artest to the Lakers?! How can anyone form any sort of hatred or rivalry if players don't care where they play, just as long as they get paid.

That's it. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Friday, July 23, 2010

Smart Again...

I have once again joined civilization and returned to the land of smart phones. This was pretty much me for the last few weeks. (video courtesy of Rusted Jesus)

Now that I have it, it's everything I hoped it would be and more. It has voice command dammit! As Other Guy pointed out, so did his phone that he had 10 years ago. Anyway, the phone rules, 3G is way better than the shitty Edge network I was still dealing with and I haven't dropped a call yet. It's nice to have an ipod again and even though it's only 16GB, it's still the largest ipod I've ever had.

You may now start calling/texting me again.

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Keep On Truckin'...

You know what's strange? The fact that people jump in front of huge semis on the freeway or in the city with no regard for the fact that the semi could run them over in a second and not even feel it. When did people decide that every truck they cut in front of is a gentle giant. Who decided that the right way to merge was speed ahead to the first truck and then jump in right in front of him?

As I was driving back to Chicago from Michigan today, I decided to take I-90, which is a toll road, because 94 has been heinous with all the construction. While sitting at one of the three toll stops, the huge semi in the lane to my right kept honking his horn. I looked over and noticed that no less than 5 cars jumped right in front of him when he was almost at the toll. A normal person like myself would have been furious about this and I wondered what was stopping this truck from ramming into the last asshole that cut him off. He's a professional driver with deadlines and cargo and a bad back and these assholes just need to get home so they can tivo Two and a Half Men!

I found myself hoping the driver would snap and instead of honking his horn, just roll one of his tires forward and flatten that asshole's BMW into the ground. But he didn't and I paid my toll and drove off. But it did make me wonder why so many people think that there is no danger in cutting off a truck. That's like walking by a bunch of murderers with pistols and fucking with the one with the bazooka because apparently anyone with a gun that big is not going to use it.

Anyway, I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Youtube Two Three...

What's crackin kids? Just thought I'd throw some clips at you on this rainy Sunday evening.

My current favorite commercial:

These dudes are pretty sweet:

Aaaaaand it's almost back. 3 more days til season 5!!!!!!

I'm out. Stay golden pony boy. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

This may be the greatest video ever made (courtesy of Jess Spano)

Friday, July 09, 2010

A Week...

It has now been one week since I have been without a phone. It's not as bad as you would think. I'm sure there are legions of people who are calling me and texting me about how much they want to hang out and wondering why I'm not responding, but everyone else has reluctantly been emailing. And it's been glorious. I really think it's more of an annoyance to my friends than it is to me. Would I like to check my email and be in contact with people and listen to my ipod? Of course. But by using my original ipod mini that is 7 years old and only lasts about 20-30 minutes on a full charge, I have rediscovered some of my old faves that I haven't listened to in forever like Architecture in Helsinki and the Postal Service.

It's a crazy world that generally moves fast, but really, no one needs cell phones. The world got along fine without them for a couple of years before they were inevented and will survive when we switch to telepathy. I can't wait for the future.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, July 08, 2010

To Infinity And Beyond...

I just read this article in the times that you should read. It's awesome. Just to nutshell a little, it's about a guy who flew a solar powered plane longer and higher (26 hours and 28,543 ft) than any other solar plane before. The only downside is that he only went 25 miles an hour. That would be like getting on a roller coaster and having the brakes on the whole time. It's still awesome though.

The other day I was talking about how it's 2010 and Back To The Future made promises of flying cars and hologram ads and robot waitresses in 80s retro diners. None of that is happening! I demand satisfaction. It'd be cool to have flying cars and all that jazz, but how about just getting off our oil dependency. President Obama is really dropping the ball on the whole BP debacle. He should have used all the outrage and momentum behind the disaster (that is still ongoing despite a seemingly huge drop in interest) to spark a move toward going green so this will never happen again. To put the oil spill in context, I read somewhere that there is so much oil being spilled that every four days is equivalent to the entire Exxon Valdeez spill. Food for thought.

Anyway, go big and go green.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, July 06, 2010


So I've had my iPhone for about 2 1/2 years. Within the last few months it has deteriorated to the point that it was almost useless. The ipod function was out of control. It was slow as a snail stuck in molasses and it constantly lost service. Randomly just lost it. I'd be on the phone with 4 bars and then the call would fail and I couldn't get service for an hour. So Friday I go canoeing and get drunk and afterwards I try and make a call. My phone keeps dropping the call and then finally froze and said I had no service. So I threw it a few times. Into trees. And then in one moment of complete cathartic triumph, I chucked it into the river.

If you play golf and have anger issues on the golf course like I do (did), it's kind of like breaking a club. The pure joy of snapping that intolerable club over your knee and throwing it down in disgust. Oftentimes when you want to break something like a useless computer or any printer ever made, you wait until you have a back up. That would have been nice ideal in my situation, but it wouldn't have felt as good. Not knowing when I would have a phone next made it all the more rewarding. I hated that phone so much that I didn't even care when I would make my next phone call or what I would make it from. Seeing that phone fly into the Huron River was elation like you wouldn't believe.

That was 5 days ago now. I still have no phone and have been too busy to get one. The first couple days were the hardest. But now I've accepted the fact that I can't check my email every 5 minutes or text anyone or get ahold of anyone for that matter. Going out has reverted back to high school where you actually have to make plans to meet people at a certain time because "meeting up later" is not an option. It's liberating and suffocating at the same time. I'm on a priority list for a new iPhone and will be incredibly happy to join the human race once again, but for now, living in 1999 and feeling like I'm a senior in high school again is alright with me.

Go big

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Farewell June...

This has been a wonderful month and it's ending much to quickly. I think I'm ready to declare June my favorite month of the year. Great weather, great lakes, great times and great celebrations. When I get married, it'll be in June. 30 days?! Why can't June get 32 days? Let's take away another one from February because it's not like it's really gonna miss that extra day.

Tonight, June goes out with a bang, or possibly crickets. I've got my first improv class tonight at Second City. I'm a little nervous about it but it should be fun. It's one thing to be funny with your other equally funny (if not more so) friends, but to do it for reals and make other people laugh? I'm ready for crickets. Really I'm just ready to continue being awesome so we'll see how it goes.

As always, go big or go home. Keep your feet on the ground but keep reaching for the stars. Have a fun/safe/exciting and patriotic 4th of July weekend y'all.

-M, p, z & shredder


So I finally went movie hopping the other day. It'd been far too long but there were a slew of movies that I needed to see and only got through half so I'm in for another adventure next week. The A-Team was really good. I think they did a good job of capturing how campy the original was but still didn't let it get too silly and brought it up to date without losing the charm. They kind of took the characters to the extreme but it was fun and entertaining and hilarious and overall a great summer flick that didn't disappoint. Toy Story 3 was pretty much a tear fest. Definitely get your kleenex out for this one. If you can get through it without getting misty eyed, you should be living in a cave in Afghanistan.

What I really wanted to talk about was Knight and Day. Cameron Diaz is arguably the worst actress ever, because aside from being a bad actress she's ugly. She looks like a girl who was cute in middle school and then just got ugly like so many of them do. Not that her being ugly is a reason to hate her, but add that to being forced down my throat and told how pretty she is, and she takes the cake. However, I am a big Tom Cruise fan. What's not to like? He's a good actor, he's always entertaining and he hasn't missed a beat since Top Gun.

So what gives? So he's a little crazy. No big deal. Are people really that upset that he's a Scientologist? Do they really care that much that he doesn't think people should be on drugs for depression or ADHD. Does it matter that he jumped on Oprah's couch? Why does everyone love to hate him? There are far worse people in Hollywood doing far worse things (Lindsay Lohan, anyone associated with MTV, Two and a Half Men) and people still support them. Mel Gibson gets a second chance for being an anti-semite, why can't Tom Cruise get another chance? I have never been let down by a movie he's starred in and probably never will. Go see Knight and Day. It's a silly popcorn summer flick, but it's definitely worth movie hopping into.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

David Yates is Trying to Kill Me...

For those who don't know who David Yates is, he's the director of the last 2 Harry Potter movies and the yet to be released two part finale (this is a Harry Potter post so for most of you, you won't care about this). Don't get me wrong, I loved the 5th movie. He only changed a little and what he left out wasn't that important. But then came the abomination that was The Half Blood Prince. If I never read the books I would have loved it. But it's almost like he never read the books. He left out so much "because of time constraints" but then added a bunch of garbage and changed so much of the story around that it resembled nothing close to the story line of the book. The end was absolutely atrocious though, a travesty and blasphemous to a really great book. He simultaneously made Harry look like a pussy and Dumbledore die like a bitch. People said to hold off judgment because he arranged the 6th movie in such a way that it would coincide better with the two part finale.

Well the full trailer finally came out yesterday and all I can think is that he still ruined book 6 and looks to ruin the finale even more. Two things that really stand out are how silly Harry looks strolling into the Forbidden Forest when he lets Valdemort kill him and the final battle between him and Valdemort that is CLEARLY not in the Great Hall and NO ONE is watching. Where are all the dead bodies? Where is Mrs. Weasley battling Bellatrix?! Where is Neville Longbottom?!?!

Oh, the humanity!!!

Somebody get this guy a copy of the book. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Quarter 1...

Last Friday marked the end of my first quarter at school. Really the program is 5 quarters which doesn't make sense and they should really think about calling them 'fifths.' As in, "I just finished my first fifth," or "I'm about to start my second fifth." Just a thought. The reason I mention this is not to rub it in to all you working class heroes that I'm still in school and refuse to re-enter the real world, but to note that for the first time since high school I did not miss a class. Just under 3 months and I did not miss a single class. Warm weather, Lake Michigan, a 25 minute commute and none of them could thwart me. It helps that I've got friends in school that I love hanging out with, but the bigger picture is that I'm interested in what I'm doing.

Film school was awesome and I only skipped a few of those classes and those were mostly things I didn't need to go to, but to say I never missed a class there would be a lie. I can't wait until we get to start our TV commercial class and I get to apply my film school expertise (doubtful) to an ad. This was the natural progression that I originally saw when I decided to apply to ad school and I'm excited that I get to work on it soon. End of ramble.

The point of me saying this is that maybe I'm getting more mature? The thought of that makes my inner Peter Pan shudder but it may be happening regardless. I wonder if it's possible to stay young and still grow up. I'm hoping it is because that's pretty much what I've been trying to do my whole life.

Reasons I know I'm old:
1) I tell kids to pull their pants up
2) I'm afraid of teenagers
3) I get tired around 9 and try and go to bed around 10
4) I can no longer relate to anything on MTV

I suppose it's all inevitable. Eventually I'll have kids and hate the music they listen to, unless they're cool and listen to my old records/albums/mp3s. The moral of the day is growing up is lame but, to quote Ozma, "living ain't that hard if you know you're alive."

I'm out. Only make moves when your hearts in it, and live the phrase: the sky's the limit.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - remember this? 10 years ago when I graduated high school this song had just come out and was our graduation song. Lame.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Don't Judge Me...

I have a confession to make that is both disgusting and embarrassing. You know that new Nickelback song, This Afternoon? I kind of like it. And by kind of, I mean I love it. It's the best. I'm repulsed by myself. I feel like I just watched an episode of Two and a Half Men or something. But I can't help it. I tried so hard for so long to pretend that I hated the song. But every time it came on I would publicly groan and then silently pray that no one changed the station. Now it's on my ipod. If you haven't heard it, avoid it at all cost so your hatred of Nickelback can remain intact. Actually I might hate them more for making me like one of their wretched demon songs.

It's insane how bad the lyrics are. For example:

"Landlord says I should buy a tent
But he can kiss my ass 'cause I paid the rent
So I doubt he'll kick me out this afternoon"

What does that even mean? I hate the lyrics and his voice and everything about this band, but I still can't help but love this song. It's pretty much the perfect white trash summer drinking song. I want to go outside, play bags and drink Busch Light. The only thing that makes it somewhat acceptable is that Tiger Woods likes Nickelback and that dude's a billionaire. Come to think of it, Tiger might have some white trash in him. He likes ugly trashy fat chicks and Nickelback.

Anyway, give it a listen if you haven't heard it I guess. My favorite part is near the end when he screams, "last call you sons of bicthes!!"

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Youtube Two Three...

I had a few things to talk about but I'm busy and can't. There's no time. there's never any time! I'm so excited. I'm! Zack, I'm so scared. Oops, slipped in to a little Saved By The Bell tangent there. Anyway, here are some videos that I am in love with on youtube to help you pass a few minutes of your mundane Tuesday.

This is a cover of my favorite Sam Cooke song. They kind of killed it (as in it rules):

This is a hilarious BP oil spill spoof:

This is just reliving awesomeness:

I'm out. Happy Tuesday. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I just bit the inside of my lip. It kills. While I was sitting here cursing my luck and the fact that god was punishing me for eating Oreos which are clearly not on my running diet, I wondered why I was chewing so hard. I was chewing the shit out of those Oreos! Then I realized that I think I probably always chew that hard. You kind of have to. As I sat here wondering what you can eat without chewing hard (I only came up with gum) I started to wonder if dinosaurs ever bit thier lips. 

This sent me down a mind tangent you wouldn't believe. But the basic notion was that we always learn about how dinosaurs most likely roamed the earth. We hear about how Velociraptors most likely used vocal communication (this is what I'm gathering from extensive viewings of Jurassic Park I-III), who ate who, who was an herbivore and so on. But we never hear anything about the mundane. Have you ever seen a Brontosaurus chew? There is no way those dudes didn't bite their tongues. And I bet when they did, they hooted and hollered as much as I did. My point is this, there are some things in this world, that no matter who and what you are, just suck when they happen to you. You think Bin Laden doesn't bite his tongue in that cave? You're crazy. He probably does it all the time. I bet he burns his toungue too since all he uses is a fire to heat up his food.

I love that there are universal truths and biting your lip or burning your tongue is definitely one of those.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Charlie Sheen...

I hate Charlie Sheen. In an update to an earlier post about him going to jail, not surprisingly his sentencing was delayed. He was supposed to report to jail today and I was going to pop some champagne, but instead he now has to go back to court for something new about his last domestic violence charge.

Here's what I don't get: Chris Brown hit Rhianna once and that's all she wrote. Charlie Sheen has mulitiple violence charges against mulitiple women, the last one involved holding a knife to his current wife's throat. On Christmas. Chris Brown immediately sought treatment, counsel and has felt the public backlash ever since. Charlie Sheen doesn't go to rehab, doesn't get counseling and CBS not only doesn't pull his show but instead gives him a raise to once again make him the highest paid actor on television. Was Denise Richards not a big enough star to beat up? Does he need to cold clock Julia Roberts (even though I can't stand the woman myself) for people to start hating him? What's it going to take?

Is it because Charlie Sheen is whiter and richer than Chris Brown? Most likely. But it seems like other white celebrities have been reamed out for violence. Christian Bale was ostracized for just raising his voice to his sister and felt the backlash forever. And that dude was Batman! What is it with Charlie Sheen that people love so much? How can he keep getting away with this. He needs to have a military courtmarshall or something because clearly the civilian courts are failing. He needs to be shot in the kneecaps.

Anyway, rant over. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, June 07, 2010

Monday Two Three...

Few random things on my mind again. I seem to lack the concentration to just talk about one thing anymore.

For the last few years it seems every summer Tom Izzo is attached to some rumors about an NBA team wanting to draw him away from MSU. It's the only stressful time in my life. Izzo is my guy. He and Chuck Daly are my coaches. It would be devestating to me and to millions of other fans if he left. Apparently Cleveland is offering him a 5 year 6mil per year deal and though I'm fairly confident he won't take it, there's still a possibility. I guess the most frightening thing about it is that Izzo exudes loyalty and confidence. He is currently under contract for the next few years and has said that he wants to win at least one more National Championship with State before he ever considers leaving and I believe him. I believe him more than any other person even remotely related to sports. So with all my eggs in the Izzo basket, if he fails, society fails.

Ants in my pants. Or at least my apartment. For those who haven't had the pleasure of living with me, I'm particular. I like things clean and I like things put back where they go. Ants don't care about this. They are coming out from the gap between the tiles and my bathtub which needs to be recaulked and it's starting to get annoying. I don't kill bugs and I'm not sure what to do. I keep cleaning everything hoping they'll go away on their own since there is nothing for them to feast on but if they aren't gone soon, I'm going to have to poison them which makes me sad. They aren't doing anything to me, but for lack of a better word it's just kinf of gross.

Kids, man. Kids. My bedroom windows face an adjacent condo that houses a family of four. A mom, a dad and two kids. Two little kids. Boys. Two boys about 3 and 5. By all accounts the 5 year old is normal. But man, that three year old loves to cry. Loves it! Like it's his job. All day and all night. In the winter it used to be funny. I would hear them go outside to play and within five minutes (literally) the kid would cry and I would laugh. But now that it's nice out, I keep my windows open and so do they. So I hear this kid cry all day and all night. Sometimes I wonder why this kid is up and I'm pretty sure it's to cry. I bet he sets his alarm to wake up and start crying. Anyway, if my kid cries like that I'm sending him to India.

Anyway, go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Wednesday Two Three...

My parents had their 35th anniversary yesterday. That's a long time to be married to anyone especially when they're polar opposited like my parents are. They celebrated by my dad having the flu and going to bed at 9. Getting old is going to be a riot.

One of my pet peeves is when people gloat about not reading. You know when people say things like, "I don't know who that is because I don't read," or, "I don't read books because they're boring." I think it stopped being cool to pretend you're too cool for reading at like 10 and even then I'm not sure it was ever cool. Maybe 'cool' to not do homework, but watching Two and a Half Men instead of reading a book is what's wrong with this country.

Speaking of my most hated show in the history of television, Charlie Sheen might finally get some jail time for his countless arrests for drug charges, domestic violence, reckless driving and harrassment. Unfortunately since he's a celebrity and has enough money to get rid of everything he's only been sentenced to 30 days which will most likely be commuted for 'good behavior' down to 15 days. Here's to hoping he gets shanked.

Anyway, go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Friday, May 28, 2010

Random Thoughts...

The weather is gorgeous again and will be all Memorial Day weekend long, but while all my friends seem to have gone out of town and I'm sitting here waiting for my chicken wings to get here (I'm incredibly gluttonous when no one's looking) I thought I'd share a few random thoughts with you.

While I was taking a shower yesterday, I saw a bug struggling to survive. Is there anything in this world that makes you feel more powerful than that moment when you see a tiny insect in the shower fighting for survival. I'm a sucker and I hate killing anything so I always save them, but really, you're kind of playing god at that point whether the bug lives or dies. It's struggle is always futile no matter how hard it tries. It's up to you to step up and decide it's fate. As if you look over at a fictional emperor waiting for the thumbs up or thumbs down. Maximus the Merciful!

The guy below often comes upstairs to complain that my music is too loud. My music has never been this quiet in my life. In fact, the last time he came up I was literally reading the Economist listening to Miles Davis (that made me sound old). He said it was the bass and I told him I had my sub as low as it it could go and then later realized that it was actually unplugged. I preface with this story to drive home the point that I'm a great neighbor. The guy above me rotates his music selection between opera, techno, and show tunes. Seriously. At a very high volume and often late at night. On a couple occasions I have been tempted to go upstairs and tell him to stop being an asshole, but I think of my asshole neighbor downstairs and think better of it. I mention this now because he is listening to opera and while I don't mind the music, I'm trying to watch Blade: Trinity in peace.

Lastly, this made me happy. He might not be the best on the uke but he's much better than me and he closes his eyes when he sings. You have to love that. I can feel his pain.

Go big. Have a safe long weekend.

-M, p, z & shredder

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Summer Breeze...

The weather here in Chicago has been unreal. Incredible. We had a pretty nice spring and I just assumed that it would gradually turn into summer over the course of a few weeks. But it was 60 one day and then 90 the next and then 95 the next. I'm not complaining, it's just awesome.

I moved away from NYC and to Chicago for many reasons, but the one more than any other was the lake. Beautiful Lake Michigan. Tied for the greatest (no pun intended) lake in the entire world along with Huron and Torch. The last three days I have gone to the beach, worked on my tan (GTL definitely in effect this week) and gone for a quick jump in the water and it's been incredible. And all of this only a 15 minute walk from my front door (or a five minute bike ride). The worst thing about NYC was the summer when it's 90 degrees, humid, disgusting and smelly and all you want to do is jump in the water that you're surrounded by, but you can't. It's aggravating to say the least.

This is everything I hoped it'd be. Sandy beaches, great lake, clear skies and good friends. It has, however, raised some questions about school. Today I was tempted to skip class for the beach when I was thwarted by my new school bff who will heretofore be known as Jesse Spano. She convinced me that I needed to come to class and in retrospect I want to kill her for it. It was a lame class and the one after it was cancelled so really it was just a day not spent at the beach. But I think it would have been better if I learned a lot today so in the future I could tell myself that I'd be missing out. Only time will tell if I skip a class, but let's hope that with age has come maturity and I never do.

I've actually got a lot of things I'd like to blog about and hopefully will very soon but my last blogs were all about drinking and I just wanted to get back on track for a minute. I hope you are all enjoying the weather as much as I am. Coming soon: Top 5 TV shows from this season, Top 5 cereals we used to eat before we got old and Top 5 pop songs for your upcoming summer jam list as well as a look at the Euro. Exciting.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Saturday, May 22, 2010


Disregard that last post. Or at least the part about drinking. I was obviously drunk. Ahhhh drunk posting. I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that people thought 'schmoops' was a lady friend when in fact she is just that. I would however like to talk about Arizona for a second.

Fuck you, Arizona. I'm never visiting and never showing you my id.

That's about all I have to say about that. Also, on a side note about how cool and intelligent I am, I've been reading The Economist for the last couple months (only $48 a year!! get a subscription) and can I just tell you how exciting the elections were a couple months ago? No, I can't because you don't know what was going on because you aren't as smart as I am. But seriously, reading it makes me feel like I don't know anything. So we've turned it into a drinking game that is sure to get you blasted: flip through it and every time you have no idea what an article is talking about, you drink. Awesome.

Lastly, I will be blogging more. I think I'm getting the hang of school and 'budgeting my time' and I found that if I can get work done on the weekend, I have a lot more free time during the week.

Whatever. Sorry for being uber lame two posts in a row.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Yo Yo Yo...

Just to clear the air, Schmoops is not my gf. She's not even a make-out buddy. She'd not a date partner. She is, however, my bff in Chicago and she turns 25 (?) on Monday. I didn't realize that people might think we're involved, but let me be clear, I will never blog about a girl who I'm dating, seeing, gf-ing or married to. So relax.

I"m trying to act my age, but it's hard when you spend most of your time surrounded by people who are 23 and remind you of what life was like when you were 23. This is also a testament to my friends here in Chicago who believe that drinking is a fact of life. It's not. But, it kind of is. In my 'indusrty' it's all about boozing and networking so I'm trying to get into that. Tap into my social side. Let's see how it works out in the end. I'm feeling it every time I go out.

I'm a little too old for this, but my tolerance is working it's way up the system.

Go big

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday, May 17, 2010

I'm 21 Again...

Apparently. What is happening to my life. Some of you may be jealous, some of you may be disgusted (Brown Guy and Dragon Lady) but for real, my life is regressing. Aside from being back in school and drinking to meet people, Schmoops has turned me into an alcoholic. Another Sunday Funday has turned into me puking in the afternoon and just now (at 2:30am) waking up from my 'nap' which is not good. I already missed my run this morning because I was a little hungover and now have to go to class from 10am to 9pm and will not be going to the gym at 7am like I planned.

Is this even coherent. I'm starting over. I'm drunk. It's late. Here's what happened. I was on my way to the zoo with Schmoops when we passed my favorite margarita place. I say, "Hey, this is the best place to get margaritas. They have these jumbo ones that cost $21 but get you straight twisted." So we walk another block and she says, "we haven't hung out in two weeks, I'm a bad influence, I also hate you so let's turn around and ruin your life." And ruin it we did. Two pitchers later, mid vomit, I realize I haven't eaten anything since drunk Marty ate all my food the night before.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense because I'm still drunk, but if you see me in the streets, grab me, shake me and tell me to get my shit together. Friends shouldn't turn friends into alcoholics. It's okay though, I'm a writer. This is my excuse to a lot of people for a lot of things.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Sunday, May 09, 2010

F*ck AT&T...

Wow. I fucking hate AT&T. Ever since I moved to Chicago I drop calls like Charlie Batch dropped snaps (awesomely dated Detroit Lions reference). Most of you know that I'm from a Michigan/Canada border town. Well, AT&T has always been shitty there and when I'm sitting in my parents house, I don't get reception from AT&T but instead get it from a tower in nearby Canada, which, like Sarah Palin and Russia, I can see from my house. So for the last two years every time I go home, I get roaming charges. At first I was miffed because I thought it would be an issue, but it was no big deal and the charges were taken off. Every time I go home, I get charges, I call, they take them off. This is the way things have gone for over 2 1/2 years.

So last month I went home and this month I had roaming charges. I make my usual Sunday afternoon call and some asshole named P.J. who doesn't really speak English and tries endearingly hard to pronounce his way through bumbled colloquialisms and who doesn't understand what I'm talking about tells me there's no roaming charges (even though it clearly says it on my bill). Then he somehow finds them, mumbles for a couple minutes, puts me on hold, then transfers me.

So some chick gets on the phone and tells me that she can take my charges off but wants to do something so it doesn't happen again. She works for customer service so I'm sure she's trying to sell me something because usually it only takes a few minutes. She then tells me that she can set my account to never get any international signals to which I respond that then I wouldn't get any service at all when I'm home. I tell her not to add the feature and to just take the charges off. She then tells me that she can take the charges off this month but since she offered me the option of not getting the roaming signal, that in the future they can never take off the charges. I tell her that is unacceptable and that I've been doing this for years and why is this happening all of the sudden. She then keeps saying the same thing so I do something I've never done before, I ask to speak to her manager.

Her manager gets on the phone and tells me the same shit, so I tell her that it's fucking ridiculous that I've been doing this for over two years, which I remind her is an inconvenience to me in the first place, and that now when I go home, I'm going to get roaming charges for not even roaming. She has nothing new to say and then has the balls to tell me that according to her computer, the area is serviced well by AT&T. So I tell her that I've actually been there and to look at my phone bill because clearly it's not. She says there is nothing she can do so I say fine, add the feature, get rid of the charges and I'm switching to Verizon. But I'm not done bitching. So I ask to speak to her boss or her bosses boss or someone I can bitch to and I'm currently waiting on a call back from whoever that may be...

Wow. So I waited a couple hours for the phone call that was supposed to come in less than 30 minutes. This is officially ending in war.

-M, p, z & shredder

Happy Mothers Day...

I had the most hilarious train conductor (is that what they're called in the city?) on Friday morning. He pops on the overhead speakers and says, "This isn't a traffic update, but I just wanted to say Happy Mothers day to all the beautiful mothers out there. Also happy ladies day. All ladies are beautiful in general and whether you're a mother or not, you should be celebrated. I just want to thank you all for spending this beautiful Friday morning with me."

This guy made me happy for mulitple reasons. First, who does that? Second, it was a rainy morning and when I got on the train, the clouds parted, the birds were singing and it really was a beautiful morning and this dude put a smile on a lot of people's faces. Also, it just dawned on me that either he was as happy as I was or he was on drugs, and that would be scary to have a train operator be that high.

Anyway, happy mothers day. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Thursday, May 06, 2010

RIP Ernie...

Posted this on fb but in case no one saw it, it's pretty sweet. He will be greatly missed. He really was the voice of summer.

Go big

-M, p, z & shredder

ps - I don't know how people deal with being busy. it's the worst. I'll blog more soon, I promise.

Thursday, April 29, 2010


Most of you probably don't know this, but this Sunday is National Play Your Ukulele day. So listen to some Kate Micucci, my girl Najme or, if you're feeling adventurous, go on youtube and start looking at random vids. This one is courtesy of Kingsford who was the first one to see my uke after I got it last Spring.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I Used to be Creative...

When I was in high school a friend of mine was in a band. I mean, so was I and everyone else, but this kid was in a legit band and still, 10+ years later, makes money off making music. Anyway, one day he was listening to my shitty band and told us of how he used to enjoy being in a band and having fun just fucking around like we were. He missed the days of playing and not rehearsing. He said music became a chore and no longer felt the same way about it.

I'm about to start my third week of school and right now, in this moment, I no longer enjoy thinking. Not that school has been especially hard or emotionally taxing or any other bullshit people say, but it's been strange. Writing screenplays and treatments is fun. I love writing and I love characters. I love putting myself into people I create and having them lead lives of my quiet desperation. Writing 50 shitty headlines about Chapstick and Ziploc bags only to be reminded that I suck at writing is not fun - it's a chore. Writing 50 headlines this week about fucking Claritin D 24 is agonizing, because I know slightly more than I did two weeks ago but not enough to be any better at it and it's cumbersome to say the least. Am I going to suck this week? Yes. Undoubtedly. Will I get better? Obviously. I just want that to be now. As many of you know, my kind exterior, while not a ruse, does somewhat conceal the fact that I'm as cocky and confident as Lenny Kravitz around a pre-paid prostitute. I hate not being good at things, and not being good at something I love is not so much frustrating as it is literally driving me to drink. Whiskey. Why whiskey? Because that's what real writers drink. And I'm a writer. By trade. Just not by income. Yet. All the greats drank. Kerouac. Balzac. Hemmingway. Hank fucking Moody. Whatever.

I'm blogging today for all you faithful sad little bastards out there who read my blog on the weekend. Carpe diem. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder