Ex-Communicated...

So I've had my iPhone for about 2 1/2 years. Within the last few months it has deteriorated to the point that it was almost useless. The ipod function was out of control. It was slow as a snail stuck in molasses and it constantly lost service. Randomly just lost it. I'd be on the phone with 4 bars and then the call would fail and I couldn't get service for an hour. So Friday I go canoeing and get drunk and afterwards I try and make a call. My phone keeps dropping the call and then finally froze and said I had no service. So I threw it a few times. Into trees. And then in one moment of complete cathartic triumph, I chucked it into the river.

If you play golf and have anger issues on the golf course like I do (did), it's kind of like breaking a club. The pure joy of snapping that intolerable club over your knee and throwing it down in disgust. Oftentimes when you want to break something like a useless computer or any printer ever made, you wait until you have a back up. That would have been nice ideal in my situation, but it wouldn't have felt as good. Not knowing when I would have a phone next made it all the more rewarding. I hated that phone so much that I didn't even care when I would make my next phone call or what I would make it from. Seeing that phone fly into the Huron River was elation like you wouldn't believe.

That was 5 days ago now. I still have no phone and have been too busy to get one. The first couple days were the hardest. But now I've accepted the fact that I can't check my email every 5 minutes or text anyone or get ahold of anyone for that matter. Going out has reverted back to high school where you actually have to make plans to meet people at a certain time because "meeting up later" is not an option. It's liberating and suffocating at the same time. I'm on a priority list for a new iPhone and will be incredibly happy to join the human race once again, but for now, living in 1999 and feeling like I'm a senior in high school again is alright with me.

Go big

-M, p, z & shredder