Revelations...

I consider myself to be a very positive person, especially when it comes to my life. I always try and see the glass half full and assume that the best will work out for me. Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way. I've been back in nyc for over a month now and I'm still unemployed. That doesn't bother me so much. Aside from the boredom and tedious monotony of having nothing to do but get rejected by seemingly every industry, I still had positive vibes about my prospects and that I would find a job eventually.

Over the weekend, well just yesterday actually, I kind of had a shocking revelation about my life and the kind of life I want to lead. I was in Baltimore for a wedding of a family friend and naturally there were many other family friends there. Talking with people about their lives, or specifically their careers, was mind blowing. It's no so much what people are doing but the general notion behind their careers. They all seem to be helping people. Making the world a better place. Doctors, nurses, scholars, lawyers, engineers, whatever people did there was a direct positive effect on someone else. As an aspiring filmmaker you could argue that movies and tv makes people happy. But so do drugs and last I checked they weren't good for you. I think I realized yesterday that I live a really selfish life and for all the rhetoric I spew about helping people and making the world a better place, I don't really do anything substantial about it. Sure I recycle, reduce and reuse and give homeless people my change and sign petitions and write emails, but there is so much more that I can do.

I decided that I need to change gears a little bit and focus on finding a job that has a positive influence on people. The only problem is that I'm not sure what I can do. I want to dive into something but as it's never been something I've researched a whole lot, I'm not sure where to begin. I'm sure a non-profit would work but how do I get involved on a level other than handing out fliers and calling people for donations? I don't need to make a lot of money but obviously it's a factor. Anyways, if you know something give me a call/email/comment/facebook message/text or whatever but I could use the help!! I know a lot of you are doing things along these lines and would love some input. As far as film goes I think I'm just going to focus on writing for a while and still do freelance productions but I don't think I'm going to keep sending out resumes to the Trya Show or MTV or NBC. When I look back at my life in however many years, I don't want to regret anything. I want to be able to say I did something good and made people's lives better.

Dr. King said, "Make a career of humanity... and you will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in," and, "Life's most persistent and urgent question is: what are you doing for others?" Indeed.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder