Time to Rant...

Okay so as I said in my last blog, I'm going to tell you some stories about some terrible human beings. Now I don't mean terrible in the way the Bush is terrible, but terrible in the way like those people who talk on their cell phones while paying for their groceries. These people make living life so hard sometimes that you just wanna stab somebody. For example to this person yapping about her fucking fake-tan she just got to her sorority sister instead of answering the cashier's quesitons, needs to be stabbed in her eye with the antennae of her cell phone.

To start things off I'd like to talk about this guy.














If you play basketball, and I'm sure it happens in other sports as well, then you know who this guy is. The 40 something hairy fat fuck who sucks at basketball so he chooses to foul instead of play defense. Yesterday I was having a good day of ball when this guy (always clad in a mesh jersey so all of his nasty ass greasey sweat gets all over you) tries to 'guard' me. Instead I ended up much the same as Ben Stiller does in this scene, with a mouthful of nasty, sweaty chest hair. I almost threw up in his eye. I was seriously going to shove the basketball up his ass. To anyone who thinks he's justified because he's fat and therefore not as fast, earlier I was playing against this guy who had to be 5'8" 300lbs no joke. He had the biggest gut ever. But he was playing like a fucking man, and not only that he had 10 lb weights strapped on each ankle and is such a bad ass he didn't even realize when they fell off. That dude is my hero, but this fat white dude is gonna die.

Next up is the guy who invented this shit...

This guy needs to be killed. This is an at home lasik kit. For those who dont know, lasik is a LASER eye surgery that slices off a portion of your cornea to focus your eye. A fucking laser that slices your eyeball, and this guy is willing to sell it to the same idiots who think voting for Bush was a good idea. The most ridiculous part is the illustration. If you can't read it go here. It's supposed to elimate the "unnecessary equipment and staff." People, by design, are morons. Some people might think this thing will actually work and then when they accidentally blinked they wake up dead. The best part is that the guy who invented it and is selling it, is wearing glasses in the ad. Even he won't use this abomination because he knows how ridiculous it is.




Lastly are these girls...














Now, girls for the most part are awful drivers. No offense, but search your feelings, you know it to be true. So why do you attach your cell phone to your ear when you are on the road. Hang up the phone. I can absolutely 100% guarantee that whatever you are talking about is the most asinine thing in the world. No one really cares about whatever mundane bull shit you are talking about. Your lame friends will still be lame after you park your car so just hang up the phone and put your hands at 10and 2. Literally 90 percent of girls are talking on the phone while driving. Now on a long trip when you are on the freeway, though maybe even more dangerous at higher speeds, is understandable. Sometimes you get tired and that can actually be a good thing to talk to someone. But when you are in the city and you aren't paying attention in the first place, get off your phone you stupid whore. Every time someone on the road is being terrible they are always chicks on their cell phones and next time I just might have to stab a bitch.

Anyways that's all for now. I may be in jail for murder the next time I blog but don't worry I'll still be awesome. As always, get your feet on the ground and reach for the stars, Carpe Diem bitches.

I'm out
-Marty

oh ps - If you haven't had a chance to get outside and enjoy the weather I am going to add you to the list of people who need to be shot.