Popsicles...

So last week I found out the perfect way to stop a street canvasser from talking to you. I was walking home from the grocery store when I noticed this girl wearing a bright neon pink t-shirt that said Planned Parenthood on it, holding a clipboard and getting ready to try and engage me. I hate these people. I love Planned Parenthood and support the organization, but god how I hate canvassers. I used to be one. For a day. Actually, it was half a day. I spent one morning training and then during our lunch break, I just dipped. I said I wasn't feeling well and never went back.

So there is no one within 100 feet of me and this girl and she sees me and I see that she sees me so I do the usual look around and act like I'm interested in the motorcycle that just drove by. I keep hoping someone will come up walking faster behind me, but as I get closer she starts waving and motioning for me to take my headphones out. First of all, don't wave at me like you know me. Second, don't tell me what to do. I'm having a good day enjoying my walk, the weather and my music and you're about to stop all of that from happening, so stop smiling. So I reluctantly take out one of my earphones, which is to act like I care but still hold firm in not wanting to talk to her. I then stop her mid-sentence and say, "Sorry. My popsicles are melting," and motion to my bag. She looked shocked that I cared more about my (non-existent) popsicles than helping her murder babies (I kid).

Anyway, I encourage you all to use ice, ice cream, popsicles or even go the opposite route and say your soup is getting cold, when stopped by these faux protectors of the earth.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder