Manly Men...

So this last week and through next week I have been working for a different office within my company to help them with move outs and getting apartments ready for move-ins. Anyways, I am working with about 7 other guys and I have realized one thing: there are two types of guys - dudes and men. I am a dude. Almost all of my friends are dudes. But these guys are men. You can almost hear them chant, "I'm a man, a manly manly man. I'm a man, yes, I am." Let me elaborate.

These guys had a conversation yesterday about cars and motorcycles that I couldn't understand a word of. All I understood was a few words here and there like 'intake' and 'engine'. The only thing I had to add to the conversation was what I learned from The Fast and the Furious. Honestly. Here's a 'joke' I heard two days ago that had everyone chuckling. So this guy who is caulking the tubs and sinks says, "When I heard I was caulking today I grabbed all the 5-in-ones I could find and went straight to my brick saw." That's it. That's all he said. Everyone started laughing and I smiled and acted like I got it. Now I know what a 5-in-one is, but I had no idea what a brick saw was. So I looked it up and from what I gather it's just a saw. I still don't get it. Therein lies the difference between men and dudes. Here are some more differences and ridiculously chauvinistic things I've overheard:

One guy found some paper towels in an apartment and said he was going to take them home so that he could convince his wife to clean to which another man responded, "You mean two black eyes couldn't?".

While they were all talking about their guns (all the men that is), I (more of a nerd than a dude) added some stupid comment about my limited edition Star Wars Episode III light sabre to which I was greeted with laughter. I think the laughing was directed at me and not my joke.

Apparently the louder your truck is the better. Now I hate those trucks that are raised 10 feet off the ground and sound like someones eating a helicopter under the hood but from what I gather not only is that cool but more often than not it means they have also "dropped a small block" in there. I know a small block is a type of engine but it still makes no sense.

If a girl is annoying you, you should either punch her in the face or "dump a bitch." All of the ones who were married hate their wives and know more about trucks than they do about their kids.

"I ain't seen 'em," is probably the only phrase they know. Now while I am always down with a big fuck you to punctuation, these people feel the same way about grammar and the english language in general.

One of the guys had to go to my office for something and when he got there he told Bill (my roommate/co-worker) that there was someone from the office working on his crew. Then he says, "Yeah, some black guy who drives a mercedes." (My subaru's battery was dead so I was driving the benz) To which bill thought, "I dont know any black people who drive a benz." Then the guy goes, 'You know, really tall and skinny." Eventually Bill got that he was talking about me and when I told me that I realized that all of those guys must just assume I am black because I am very dark and have very short hair. This would be fine except for the fact that when they talk about black people they sort of look at me cockeyed and refer to them in what they must think is the most p.c. term there is, "colored guy." They also refer to every other race in almost the most derogatory racist word possible.

Basically I guess I have been in complete denial and living in my own little bubble but Michigan really is a very redneck hick state. Now I dont mean that in a bad ay because despite what I have mentioned above these 'men' were very nice to me and were all good folks. But it does not surprise me anymore that this state was almost a red state the past 2 elections. I couldn't tell you the difference between small town michigan (which is almost al of it) and the southen US.

Anyways thats all for now, as always lift your feet off the ground and keep reaching for the stars, Go big or go home. "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever." Carpe diem.

-M, p&z

oh ps - more blogs to come soon and more frequently including a special farewell to east lansing.... In the mood for a good very funny movie, go see Woody Allen's new movie "Scoop." It's hilarious and very very good. Pretty much the complete opposite mood as "Match Point" which was also very good but very serious.