Tiger Woods Ya'll...

 I've been a terrible blogger this month. I'll try and get back on track. Did everyone watch Tiger's press conference last Friday? There are a few things to take away from it, the most important being that I'm still not sure when he's returning to golf and it sounds like he might not be at the Masters which would put on damper on my Spring. It's hands down the greatest golf tournament ever and without him, it might as well be any other tournament.

Also, after reading a number of articles about the press conference, it seems like people disagree about how genuine and sincere it was. I have been a fan of Tiger's since his days as an amateur and I'm pretty sure this is as apologetic and heartfelt as he gets. Watching him was sort of painful. You could see him trying to be remorseful but it was like he was trying to get choked up and like he kept waiting for a tear that never came. One thing Other Guy always though Tiger lacked, despite our clear resolution to love everything about him, was a personality. I can't blame him. He was pushed hard all his life and then pretty much became an icon at 16 that he never had a chance to be a person and learn how to be a person who has emotions and people skills and an ounce of empathy. I think Tiger feels bad for what he did because of the way things turned out, but like Rhianna said, "Don't tell me you're sorry when you're not, baby when you know you're only sorry you got caught." I'm pretty sure Tiger is truly sorry for the pain he caused and knows that it was his fault, but I'm still not sure that he knows what he is sorry for. I mean, those texts and voicemails are outlandishly cruel to Elin - to do something like that takes a complete lack of caring which would make any apology for it a lie.

That said, I've decided that while he may have let me down, I'm still a huge fan. I never looked up to him as a role model (come to think of it I can't think of any person in the media I think of in that sense...maybe Tom Hanks) so it didn't knock me off my feet. I was shocked but I love Tiger because of golf, not because he married some smoking hot Swedish model. He is the greatest golfer ever. Watching him on a golf course is jaw dropping and awe inspiring. The game needs him back and so do I.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - I hate Bill Simmons but he wrote a decent article about it

Tiger Woods Ya'll...

So there are now reports that sound pretty accurate about how everything went down between Tiger and Elin. To summarize a bit, Tiger denied having an affair and even went so far as to have Elin talk on the phone to Rachel Utichel and confirm it. She didn't buy it and argued until Tiger decided the best way to end the argument was to take an Ambien and sleep it off. Well like any suspicious woman would do, after he fell asleep she checked his phone and saw a text he sent someone (she assumed it was Rachel) saying "You're the only one I've loved." Elin then texted Rachel pretending to be Tiger and then called her and found out who it was. [This is when things get silly] Elin then wakes up Tiger and screams at him and he responds by locking himself in the bathroom (that was what I used to do when Other Guy would beat me up when we were little). He then apparently texted her in the bathroom and when he came out she beat him up and chased him out of the house with a golf club which is when he got into his famed accident.

First of all, Tiger is one scandalous dude with little to no scruples. How do you carry on affairs forever, then look someone in the eye and lie to them and then have them talk on the phone to your mistress?! Who does that?! People have affairs, I get that, but why on earth would he think letting them speak to each other was a good idea? This is the part of life that he missed on by spending a life so focused on one thing and not learning about anything else, like how to be a person.

The PGA season started a few weeks ago. I bet you didn't know that. Probably because Tiger isn't playing in any tournaments. There have been a few players who have suggested that Tiger needs to release another statement and hurry up and resolve something so the PGA doesn't suffer any longer. They have already lost sponsorship for a couple tournaments and TV ratings will suffer a ton if he doesn't play in a major. Tiger really screwed the pooch on this one, but still I feel for the guy. I mean he's a bad dude, but he is the greatest thing that ever happened to golf and the Tiger Woods Foundation rasied a lot of money and did a lot of work for charity, and it's sad what this has done to him and the effect it will have on everything he has his hand in.

I guess the moral of the story is don't cheat, or if you marry someone and you don't care about her, make sure she feels the same way...

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

More Tiger...

About a minute after I woke up this morning I get a text from a friend (heretofore known as Kingsford) that said "Tiger killed his mother-in-law." Being half asleep still, my first thought was it was a lie followed by genuine confusion and acceptance. My internet wasn't working for a few minutes so I briefly ran through a scenario in my head where an enraged Tiger murdered Elin's mom, presumably after another fight and was then subsequently arrested where he'd no doubt by now be in a jail cell surrounded by thousands of reporters and the media feeding frenzy would continue for years. I texted Kingsford back asking if he was serious and he said no and it just occurred to me that this is an easy prank to pull on me on April Fools day. Someone from Tiger's house did go to the hospital, but it wasn't Elin and they aren't dead.

But now that we're on the subject of Tiger once again, I need to talk about the numerous chicks that are coming out of the woodwork claiming affairs. First of all, reports that claim Tiger offered his wife $5 million to whether the storm and another $80 million if she stays with him through 2016 seem so insane that I actually believe it. What's $80 mil when you've got a billion plus. Anyway, as far as the new women going (I think the total number of named women is 7) they seem to be getting better looking, but I swear with each new name Tiger further denigrates any chances he had at redeeming himself. While I don't believe all of them, I assume most of them are true because if I've learned anything about Tiger, it's that he can't be trusted. His transgressions are clearly not transgressions at all and just evidence that he's a sh*tty person. He's just not a good guy and there are rumors that he texted one chick after all this broke out saying he wanted to find a way to try and see her and while I find it hard to believe that he's that stupid, after hearing the desperation in his voicemail and the calm demeanor behind it as though it was okay to be this devious, I don't put anything past him.

As of now I'm still rooting for him on the golf course, he has a talent that we may never see again in our lifetime and I'm not gonna miss out on that because he likes to sleep around, he just shouldn't be married. It's hard to say how he'll be received. For all I know, this may be completely behind him in a few months, only time will tell.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - this SNL skit was hilarious

More on Tiger...

Disclaimer for this post: I do not condone cheating, nor do I condone any 'transgressions' Tiger may have had. That said, I need to be a guy for a second and talk about something else that is troubling. I need to call him out on something that most guys call each other out on. From time to time, a friend will hook up with someone they shouldn't. I don't mean an ex or a b*tch. I mean an uggo. A fatty. Someone gross. Call is callous or superficial or call us assh*les, but I'm sure girls do it too. My question is this: Why are these girls Tiger is linked with so ugly? I mean, dude's a billionaire - a BILLIONAIRE - why is he having 31 month affairs (which is more of a relationship on the side than an affair) with nasty chicks from Tool Academy. Here are pictures of the 3 girls that he's been linked to:
































These girls all look like, for lack of a better word, skanks. I mean, these are chicks that would be suspect for my boys to hook up with. But Tiger is a professional athlete, and the worlds most famous one at that. R Kelly gets way better looking chicks and he's a known pedophile and just a millionaire. Tiger is a "good guy" a billionaire and I think a pretty good looking guy. Granted he seems kind of socially inept and slightly awkward around girls I would imagine, but who cares - most girls who only care about money will go up and talk to him. Why's he bangin' uggos? It's not right. That's almost equally as disappointing as him cheating in the first place. Don't cheat dude, but if you are so weak and immature that you have to, go big. Victoria Secret Angel or SI: Swimsuit cover model, or the Perfect 10 chick from Entourage. Hell, open up a Maxim or FHM and flip to a random page and point and you can do better. Not these skeet skeets.

I'm out. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - I just did a quick google search for 'hottest girl ever' and Olga Kurylenko, from Quantum of Solace popped up. Why not her Tiger? Why couldn't you just google 'hot chicks' and call them?

Tiger...

Update in Tiger news. You can listen to his alleged voicemail that he left for that chick here. It sounds like him and I'm pretty sure it is. He's going through an awful lot to cover up which leads me to believe there are more women and that he's been doing this for a long long time. He should have deleted her number and never called her again. Some people never learn.

He's also admitted to 'transgressions' and said he's working to correct them. Here's how you correct it: stop sleeping with other people. Why did he get married in the first place if he wanted to sleep around? He got married young and he's an actual billionaire. Who does that?

Anyway, in light of this news I'm not getting rid of my link to his blog, but I will definitely look at him differently. He's still my boy, but he's like that friend who keeps f*cking up and all you can do is shake your head and say, "come on, dude."

Randomness...

It's December? That happened quickly. In 29 days, it'll be 2010. The older we get the faster the years go by. Remember when summer used to fly by even though it was 3 months without school? Now everything just flies by. November just started. Then I moved, then it was December. Life is crazy. And in light of that I'd like to discuss a couple of things related to nothing in particular - after all if time is short, why not waste it?

First, something close to my heart: Tiger Woods. Many of you know my insane fascination with Tiger. I've been a huge fan of his since way way back when. Other Guy and I used to get National Geographic Junior when we were little and I remember reading an article about him when he was only like 10 and we thought he was so cool. Then we were fans of his before he was a pro and obviously over the years we've become enamored with pretty much anything he does. Well, he's finally f*cked up. I'm all for celebrating all that is Tiger, but he's married and has two kids and he should know better than cheating on his wife. I've got no doubt he did it. I just wonder how it's going to play out. You know what I love about life - no matter how rich you are and how famous and loved you are, you still have to be afraid of a woman scorned. I mean seriously. She f*cked him up. The speculation is that she found out about a lover, hit him in the face and to retreat he got in his car, already groggy from sleeping pills, and got into the accident. Listen guy, don't cross your chick man. I don't care if you have a billion dollars and neither does she. Tiger, women are crazy, just read my blog.

In other non-related news, there's good news and bad news in the biz these days. The bad news is that Diane Sawyer is taking over for Charles Gibson on the ABC news. I myself am a Brian Williams fan, but when he's out sick I like to watch Charles Gibson. Not anymore I guess. Also bad is news that the third and final twilight may be split into two movies, much like the final Harry Potter. This is distressing because I hate this bullsh*t series and all the hoopla that is surrounding it. I can't read any of my usual movie news because even the super nerdy sites are inundated with Twilight fever. I can't take it. The good news is that Paul Greengrass is not directing the 4th Bourne movie. This is incredible news. I love Matt Damon. But Paul Greengrass is a horrible director who took what was a great movie in the Bourne Identity the Doug Liman directed, did a piss poor copy of it in Supremecy and then made an absolutely horrifically terrible movie in Ultimatum. I might actually see the 4th one now...

Anyway, there are no less than 10 movies I want to see in the theaters and I need to see them asap before the holiday releases come out. It's a tough life but someone has to do it. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - I'm thinking of getting two turtles. Does anyone with experience owning/caring for turtles have any thoughts on the matter? Let me know.

There's No Crying In...Tennis?

Aside from the Superbowl on Sunday, there was also another final you probably missed. Another great match between Nadal and Federer, this time it was their first meeting in the Australian Open. This is arguably the greatest rivalry right now in sports. There are too many teams in the NBA right now with no real enmity for each other, even the Pistons and the Cavs seem friendly. The NFL has too much parity to make any substantial rivalry out of the Superbowl. The NHL is not on national tv so I have no idea what is going on there ( though I have become a closet red wings fan despite my years of hatred for the nhl and over the last few years I have even started watching games by myself), and golf has no real rivalry other than Tiger Woods vs. the rest of the field.

So it is with tennis that we can find the greatest rivalry of this decade. Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer have been battling for years now. It couldn't have come at a greater time. I grew up idolizing Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi. To this day it is one of my all time favorite rivalries in sport. So when Federer came along, he took away a number 1 that belonged to my boy, Andy Roddick, and blew him and all the other competition out of the water. The problem was that he was so much better than everybody else, he cruised to his first 10 majors. The record is 14 held by Sampras and Fed is right behind him with 13. Then a couple years ago along comes Rafa and beats him not once, but now the last times they have met over the past few years. Nadal is the only thing keeping Federer from getting to 14 and I love him for it. So on Sunday when Nadal beat him Federer, normally never showing his emotion, broke down. He cried like a baby. He couldn't even speak.



At first I felt bad. I mean I don't hate the guy, I just don't want him to break Sampras' record. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was being a b*tch. Really? You're crying? How many times do you see people cry during sports? A lot actually, but think about how many times you see people cry after losing. I can't think of any. People can be dejected after a loss, but you never see people cry like that. People can get angry, upset, hostile, they can be poor sports, whiners, gripers and sore losers, but you never see them cry. The closest that I can think of is Antonio Mcdyess getting so mad and upset after losing in the finals in 05 that he couldn't find the strength to shower after the game and went straight to the bus in his Pistons uni. Andy Roddick, who is my favorite tennis player, gets pissed when he loses. He used to throw rackets and yell, but now in his maturity, has learned to be gracious and try harder. He was so upset at losing last year in the U.S. Open (actually the first major match I had ever seen in person) that he fired his old coach, hired a new one, lost 15 pounds and is playing the best tennis I've seen him play in years. He still lost, to Federer, again, but he didn't cry. He didn't bitch. I can promise you he's going to try harder and work harder. I don't dislike Fed more for crying, but I certainly don't think of him the same way I used to. He needs to be a man and work harder if he wants to win.

Anyways, 3 days in and I'm still on pace for a blog a day this month. Go big or go home...

-M, p, z & shredder

Olympics...

So the Olympics started. China spent over $300 million dollars on the opening ceremony which is kind of absurd for many reasons. Is it just me or does there seem to be a ton of hype behind this years summer olympics. I don't remember the games being so pumped. I have been really pumped about the new "dream team" for a long time but other than that, the only thing I really look forward to is diving. So I tried to watch some events that I don't usually pay attention to and I have to say, there is no doubt in my mind why they call them 'games.' Air rifle is an olympic sport? It's not a sport, it's a game. Anyways, they should put some crazy games in there that are fun to watch, like paintball and stuff. That would rule.

The PGA championship did all it could to grab my attention without Tiger playing in it. It literally took Ben Curtis reppin the D with a Lions hat, Sergio going for his first major, the fact that it was in Oakland Hills (the only major course I've ever played (and in the D)) and a putt on 18 for the win to keep me from changing it to America's Best Dance Crew (supa crew what!).

Sad weekend on the whole though. Issac Hayes and Bernie Mac were legends. Bernie Mac cracks me up. His voice slayed me and the looks he could give people with his eyes was ridiculous. He was the only funny part in any of the Ocean's movies and The Bernie Mac show might be one of the most underrated sitcoms.



Anyways, go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder