School's Out Forever...

Sorry for the temporary hiatus. I finished school last week and this month has been busy to hectic, though now that I only have a few months of classes only on Monday while I finish my portfolio and hopefully land a job soon, I'll have more time to devote to all of you.

For our 'final exam' we have to do 5 minutes of stand-up. This is mine.



I'm back. Go big.

-M, p, z shredder

Quarter 1...

Last Friday marked the end of my first quarter at school. Really the program is 5 quarters which doesn't make sense and they should really think about calling them 'fifths.' As in, "I just finished my first fifth," or "I'm about to start my second fifth." Just a thought. The reason I mention this is not to rub it in to all you working class heroes that I'm still in school and refuse to re-enter the real world, but to note that for the first time since high school I did not miss a class. Just under 3 months and I did not miss a single class. Warm weather, Lake Michigan, a 25 minute commute and none of them could thwart me. It helps that I've got friends in school that I love hanging out with, but the bigger picture is that I'm interested in what I'm doing.

Film school was awesome and I only skipped a few of those classes and those were mostly things I didn't need to go to, but to say I never missed a class there would be a lie. I can't wait until we get to start our TV commercial class and I get to apply my film school expertise (doubtful) to an ad. This was the natural progression that I originally saw when I decided to apply to ad school and I'm excited that I get to work on it soon. End of ramble.

The point of me saying this is that maybe I'm getting more mature? The thought of that makes my inner Peter Pan shudder but it may be happening regardless. I wonder if it's possible to stay young and still grow up. I'm hoping it is because that's pretty much what I've been trying to do my whole life.

Reasons I know I'm old:
1) I tell kids to pull their pants up
2) I'm afraid of teenagers
3) I get tired around 9 and try and go to bed around 10
4) I can no longer relate to anything on MTV

I suppose it's all inevitable. Eventually I'll have kids and hate the music they listen to, unless they're cool and listen to my old records/albums/mp3s. The moral of the day is growing up is lame but, to quote Ozma, "living ain't that hard if you know you're alive."

I'm out. Only make moves when your hearts in it, and live the phrase: the sky's the limit.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - remember this? 10 years ago when I graduated high school this song had just come out and was our graduation song. Lame.

Yo Yo Yo...

Just to clear the air, Schmoops is not my gf. She's not even a make-out buddy. She'd not a date partner. She is, however, my bff in Chicago and she turns 25 (?) on Monday. I didn't realize that people might think we're involved, but let me be clear, I will never blog about a girl who I'm dating, seeing, gf-ing or married to. So relax.

I"m trying to act my age, but it's hard when you spend most of your time surrounded by people who are 23 and remind you of what life was like when you were 23. This is also a testament to my friends here in Chicago who believe that drinking is a fact of life. It's not. But, it kind of is. In my 'indusrty' it's all about boozing and networking so I'm trying to get into that. Tap into my social side. Let's see how it works out in the end. I'm feeling it every time I go out.

I'm a little too old for this, but my tolerance is working it's way up the system.

Go big

-M, p, z & shredder

I Used to be Creative...

When I was in high school a friend of mine was in a band. I mean, so was I and everyone else, but this kid was in a legit band and still, 10+ years later, makes money off making music. Anyway, one day he was listening to my shitty band and told us of how he used to enjoy being in a band and having fun just fucking around like we were. He missed the days of playing and not rehearsing. He said music became a chore and no longer felt the same way about it.

I'm about to start my third week of school and right now, in this moment, I no longer enjoy thinking. Not that school has been especially hard or emotionally taxing or any other bullshit people say, but it's been strange. Writing screenplays and treatments is fun. I love writing and I love characters. I love putting myself into people I create and having them lead lives of my quiet desperation. Writing 50 shitty headlines about Chapstick and Ziploc bags only to be reminded that I suck at writing is not fun - it's a chore. Writing 50 headlines this week about fucking Claritin D 24 is agonizing, because I know slightly more than I did two weeks ago but not enough to be any better at it and it's cumbersome to say the least. Am I going to suck this week? Yes. Undoubtedly. Will I get better? Obviously. I just want that to be now. As many of you know, my kind exterior, while not a ruse, does somewhat conceal the fact that I'm as cocky and confident as Lenny Kravitz around a pre-paid prostitute. I hate not being good at things, and not being good at something I love is not so much frustrating as it is literally driving me to drink. Whiskey. Why whiskey? Because that's what real writers drink. And I'm a writer. By trade. Just not by income. Yet. All the greats drank. Kerouac. Balzac. Hemmingway. Hank fucking Moody. Whatever.

I'm blogging today for all you faithful sad little bastards out there who read my blog on the weekend. Carpe diem. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

The Summer Tease...

I can't decide if I hate or love that first gorgeous week of Spring. You know the one where it's 70s and 80s for a couple weeks before returning to the normal 50 and 60 degree rainy days of March and April. It's such a tease. I'm sitting here, basking in the sun, wishing it was 70 degrees and not 59. But it's April, what do I expect? Isn't this why I recycle? So we don't have 80 degree days in early Spring. Whatever. Someone move to San Diego with me.

Those hot days of last week, that now seem so distant, have actually taught me one thing: Chicago is going to be the bees knees in the Summer. I may have mentioned this before but one of the worst things about NYC was that the Summers are so much more unbearable because in the midst of all that sweltering heat and humidity you are taunted by being surrounded by water that you can't swim in. Chicago on the other hand, sits beside my second favorite lake and I couldn't be more excited to walk a few blocks to the beach, jump in the water and live out a beer commercial.

Anyway, I'm rambling with no point. School is sucking every drop of creativity that I have and making me boring. Getting back into a school routine has been easier than I thought. Perhaps I was just never for the work in high school or undergrad, I definitely didn't care, but now my work ethic seems to come effortlessly which is great. Don't get me wrong, film school was a lot of hard work and a ton of hours, but now I have homework and it actually feels like my future is in my hands which could potentially mean I' shit outta luck, but hopefully means my hands are now ready for such a task.

I'll stop mumbling. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

I'd like to send a shout out to my new readers including a new friend and possibly a future blog character heretofore known as Schmoops.

Popped...

Sorry for the delay. School is crazy. I have never had so much work to do. Scratch that. I've never had so much work to do that I've actually done. Unlike film school where the work was all hands on in class all the time, this is a lot of instruction, then go home and do a lot of work. Which is fine and great and really the only way to do it, but I've been out of school for 3 years now and this caught me off guard. I forgot what it was like to deal with time management and how to prioritize. It'll come back to me soon I'm sure. I've already spent every morning and every night after class doing homework which is kind of unheard of for me as with my past experiences with school, I took a much more lackadaisical approach.

Anyway, today's subject is popped collars. Damn you date raping frat boys and your ruining of hair gel, going to the gym, brightly colored sunglasses and popped collars. I used to agree that anybody with a popped collar was a douche, but after my euro-trip last spring, I realized that not only does it look awesome, but it's the way the shirt was meant to be worn. When the collar is down, the shirt tends to pull back making you constantly tug down on it to adjust it, however when the collar is popped it just hangs normally.

Yeah, I pop my collar. The question is, why don't you?

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - i'll try and blog more as I get reacquainted with how to balance homework and downtime and going out time...

Tuesday Two Three...

Sorry for the delays, I'm gonna try and get back on track here.

One:
MSU is making my Spring so far. This Saturday is going to be 72 and sunny and we're playing in the Final Four for the second year in a row. Unbelieveable. I'd like to think my cheering has something to do with it, but if anything it's probably my drinking. Nothing that brings you back to a good old fashioned college bender like your boys in green making a deep tournament run. Haven't had such a crazy wasted Sunday like that in forever. Shots were taken, wallets were emptied and yesterday was a recovery haze. I don't know how I'm supposed to get through this week. Saturday can't come soon enough.

Two:
I can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but Californication is incredible. I can't put my finger on what it is exactly, but it's unlike any other show I've ever seen as far as characters and direction go. It's so effortless and wonderful and the writing is great, the girls are hot and David Duchovny, if this is possible, has created a character that is cooler than Fox Mulder who still gives me a sci-fi boner. Season 1 is available on netflix instant, but you can go on Amazon and get seasons 1 and 2 for 20 bucks used which is what I had to do. Hank Moody is pretty much my hero. He's the perfect tragic anti-hero but in the least cheesy way possible. It doesn't take long to fall in love with this show and the only terrible part is that I've only got 5 episodes left of season 3 before I'm caught up. Two weeks ago I had never seen it and now I own the first two seasons and have basically caught up; the internet is a fabulous tool. If you don't have netflix and don't like dvds, watch everything for free here.

Three:
Life is about to get a little weird for me. I start school next week. Oh yeah, not sure if I mentioned this, I'm starting ad school next week. Back in the saddle I guess. I haven't been in school for a few years and I think I might be rusty, though I was never good at it to begin with so it really can't be all that different. My mom tells me that this year is supposed to be a difficult one for me because according to Hindu astrology, the stars aren't being very kind to me at the moment. I don't see it though, I'm pretty sure this year is slowly on the rise. Besides, I took astronomy and know that most stars alignment really doesn't change all the much in the grand scheme of things. Then again, I got a C- in the class so what the shit do I know.

Take care you little bastards. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Food is There, and We Eat...

I just read this article that talked about kids and their snacking habits. It's easy for me to say that there is a problem now that I'm 27 and at high risk for heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes and hypertension, but kids need to change their eating habits. As recently as a four years ago, I ate like complete crap and as a result I got fat. Not obviously fat like I was morbidly obese, but in retrospect, I have no idea how I got so fat. Right now I weigh 155 and I'm arguably the healthiest/fittest I've ever been. 4 years ago I weighed an astonishing 184. I can't imagine 30 pounds on me right now, especially since I still have fat to burn.

Here's what happened...In middle school and high school, I ate like crap. I mean crap. My mom didn't pack me a lunch and my school didn't provide a healthy option for me (or any option for that matter - we had no hot lunch despite me running for Student Council on a mission to get hot lunch) so I ate whatever I wanted. Generally this constituted a couple bags of chips, a couple sodas and a Big Texas. This was lunch probably 3 times a week and the other 2 days was pizza day. This continued until my senior year of high school when we finally got rid of the guy who brought in crusty sandwiches and overpriced milk (his name was literally The Sandwich Man) and replaced him with a local mexican restaurant once a week, Subway twice a week and pizza twice a week. This bad eating continued into college and finally when I started drinking my metabolism slowed down and fat started creeping in. I was 125 lbs when I graduated high school and 130 when I turned 21. Beer and late night food quickly turned that into 150 and years and a lack of basketball or any real excercise slowly turned that into 184.  I was a beast. But then Other Guy and a few friends that are as close as brothers called me out on being fat and I started running and quickly lost 20 pounds and hovered around 165 for a few years until this last year when I was training for my half marathon and dropped to 148. Ive worked my way back up to 150 but I now run, eat right (though I do have my days of complete indulgence like this Sunday when Mark Twain and I will probably eat an entire cake while watching the Oscars) and I've maintained a solid 155.

My point is this, kids need to learn to eat right at school. I loved vegetables as a kid and if the option were there for something tasty and healthy, I would have happily eaten it. Kids need to eat better and schools shouldn't provide any option of things that are unhealthy. They should have juice and milk and water and fruit at school and not cookies and Coke. Obesity is an epidemic and needs to be stopped while it's still somewhat unacceptable to be fat, but the more people that get fat and lazy, the closer we get to Wall-e being the future.

Go big or go home. Get out your running shoes...

-M, p, z & shredder

Roasted...

Keith Olbermann pretty much summed it up when he blasted Clinton's campaign after the Ferraro comments. Pretty awesome honest rant.




Also you know what I find funny. I was an english major in college and there is nothing I hate more than an english class. I like reading and reading things I ordinarily wouldn't have chose to read because a lot of times those can be the best books. But the classroom part of an english class is pointless. Either you're talking about the book on a superficial level i.e. the plot. Or you're making up some inane bullshit about what you think it might be about. It's like discussing art or politics with your friends only you aren't allowed to really argue with people. Discussions are always so timid and, "well maybe the author means this...unless you disagree professor." It's a waste of time. I usually try and write all of my papers as the opposite of whatever everyone in the class thinks just to give the prof something new to look at and also because I like to argue with people and flaunt my superiority. Also then the prof has no other paper to compare mine to so it can pretty much be complete bollocks. It's just kind of pointless.

Also something I wanted to mention was people adding lame things on their facebook page. I like when people add funny quotes or interesting likes but not so much with the lame high school sappy stuff. For example one of my readers recently added two things to her facebook page. One was funny and one was not. She added "thinking about running" to her interests. That's hilarious. It's like something Seinfeld would say. But then she also added to her interests, "missing Brett." Sorry C, but that's not cool. You miss your boyfriend? I feel you. But not an interest. I don't mean to put you on the spot but you just happened to be the most recent in a long line of them and were still on my home page. I guess it doesn't really matter but I thought people stopped doing things like that after we became adults. I remember doing fruity things like that on my AIM away messages back when I was 18. I haven't been on AIM in about 4 years though so I wouldn't know if people still do that. Anyways I guess I don't really care, actually it only bothers me because I have to see it when I log on.

As always, go big or go home and stuff...

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps - Recent revelation: I'm more excited for The Dark Knight than I am for the new Indian Jones. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand Batman Begins was possibly the greatest comic book adaptation ever which leads me to believe that TDK will be the new number 1. But on the other hand it's Indy. We'll see though...