Ouch...

I just bit the inside of my lip. It kills. While I was sitting here cursing my luck and the fact that god was punishing me for eating Oreos which are clearly not on my running diet, I wondered why I was chewing so hard. I was chewing the shit out of those Oreos! Then I realized that I think I probably always chew that hard. You kind of have to. As I sat here wondering what you can eat without chewing hard (I only came up with gum) I started to wonder if dinosaurs ever bit thier lips. 

This sent me down a mind tangent you wouldn't believe. But the basic notion was that we always learn about how dinosaurs most likely roamed the earth. We hear about how Velociraptors most likely used vocal communication (this is what I'm gathering from extensive viewings of Jurassic Park I-III), who ate who, who was an herbivore and so on. But we never hear anything about the mundane. Have you ever seen a Brontosaurus chew? There is no way those dudes didn't bite their tongues. And I bet when they did, they hooted and hollered as much as I did. My point is this, there are some things in this world, that no matter who and what you are, just suck when they happen to you. You think Bin Laden doesn't bite his tongue in that cave? You're crazy. He probably does it all the time. I bet he burns his toungue too since all he uses is a fire to heat up his food.


I love that there are universal truths and biting your lip or burning your tongue is definitely one of those.

Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Charlie Sheen...

I hate Charlie Sheen. In an update to an earlier post about him going to jail, not surprisingly his sentencing was delayed. He was supposed to report to jail today and I was going to pop some champagne, but instead he now has to go back to court for something new about his last domestic violence charge.

Here's what I don't get: Chris Brown hit Rhianna once and that's all she wrote. Charlie Sheen has mulitiple violence charges against mulitiple women, the last one involved holding a knife to his current wife's throat. On Christmas. Chris Brown immediately sought treatment, counsel and has felt the public backlash ever since. Charlie Sheen doesn't go to rehab, doesn't get counseling and CBS not only doesn't pull his show but instead gives him a raise to once again make him the highest paid actor on television. Was Denise Richards not a big enough star to beat up? Does he need to cold clock Julia Roberts (even though I can't stand the woman myself) for people to start hating him? What's it going to take?

Is it because Charlie Sheen is whiter and richer than Chris Brown? Most likely. But it seems like other white celebrities have been reamed out for violence. Christian Bale was ostracized for just raising his voice to his sister and felt the backlash forever. And that dude was Batman! What is it with Charlie Sheen that people love so much? How can he keep getting away with this. He needs to have a military courtmarshall or something because clearly the civilian courts are failing. He needs to be shot in the kneecaps.

Anyway, rant over. Go big.

-M, p, z & shredder

Monday Two Three...

Few random things on my mind again. I seem to lack the concentration to just talk about one thing anymore.

One
For the last few years it seems every summer Tom Izzo is attached to some rumors about an NBA team wanting to draw him away from MSU. It's the only stressful time in my life. Izzo is my guy. He and Chuck Daly are my coaches. It would be devestating to me and to millions of other fans if he left. Apparently Cleveland is offering him a 5 year 6mil per year deal and though I'm fairly confident he won't take it, there's still a possibility. I guess the most frightening thing about it is that Izzo exudes loyalty and confidence. He is currently under contract for the next few years and has said that he wants to win at least one more National Championship with State before he ever considers leaving and I believe him. I believe him more than any other person even remotely related to sports. So with all my eggs in the Izzo basket, if he fails, society fails.

Two
Ants in my pants. Or at least my apartment. For those who haven't had the pleasure of living with me, I'm particular. I like things clean and I like things put back where they go. Ants don't care about this. They are coming out from the gap between the tiles and my bathtub which needs to be recaulked and it's starting to get annoying. I don't kill bugs and I'm not sure what to do. I keep cleaning everything hoping they'll go away on their own since there is nothing for them to feast on but if they aren't gone soon, I'm going to have to poison them which makes me sad. They aren't doing anything to me, but for lack of a better word it's just kinf of gross.

Three
Kids, man. Kids. My bedroom windows face an adjacent condo that houses a family of four. A mom, a dad and two kids. Two little kids. Boys. Two boys about 3 and 5. By all accounts the 5 year old is normal. But man, that three year old loves to cry. Loves it! Like it's his job. All day and all night. In the winter it used to be funny. I would hear them go outside to play and within five minutes (literally) the kid would cry and I would laugh. But now that it's nice out, I keep my windows open and so do they. So I hear this kid cry all day and all night. Sometimes I wonder why this kid is up and I'm pretty sure it's to cry. I bet he sets his alarm to wake up and start crying. Anyway, if my kid cries like that I'm sending him to India.

Anyway, go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Wednesday Two Three...

One
My parents had their 35th anniversary yesterday. That's a long time to be married to anyone especially when they're polar opposited like my parents are. They celebrated by my dad having the flu and going to bed at 9. Getting old is going to be a riot.

Two
One of my pet peeves is when people gloat about not reading. You know when people say things like, "I don't know who that is because I don't read," or, "I don't read books because they're boring." I think it stopped being cool to pretend you're too cool for reading at like 10 and even then I'm not sure it was ever cool. Maybe 'cool' to not do homework, but watching Two and a Half Men instead of reading a book is what's wrong with this country.

Three
Speaking of my most hated show in the history of television, Charlie Sheen might finally get some jail time for his countless arrests for drug charges, domestic violence, reckless driving and harrassment. Unfortunately since he's a celebrity and has enough money to get rid of everything he's only been sentenced to 30 days which will most likely be commuted for 'good behavior' down to 15 days. Here's to hoping he gets shanked.

Anyway, go big.

-M, p, z & shredder