The City of Wind...

So once again, for what seems to be the 50th time in my life, I'm moving. To Chicago. This time will hopefully be the last (or one of the last) location moves, and the third time zone shift in my life. After spending some time out here, I'm convinced that Central Time is the worst. EST is obviously the best and even more so in Michigan - being on the border of Central time, we generally get almost an hour more daylight than the people of New York and the rest of the east coast. It's great. But CST means an hour less daylight and TV shows are an hour earlier. Unlike Mountain time or PST, where shows are delayed until the proper hour, shows just air whenever they want here. Now, I don't watch TV and won't be able to afford cable, but on the rare occasion that I do, I want 30 Rock to start at 930 and not 830. Whatever.

Aside from the new move, I've decided I'm going to change my blog slightly as well. Instead of always talking about something mundane, I'm going to try and post 'interesting' anecdotes about my life. Don't get me wrong, I'll still write many many boring blogs that really do nothing but distract you, while simultaneously not entertain you, for a few minutes. Fresh off the heels of stealing Sylvia's format, I'm also going to borrow from my friend Prudence's style as well and dole out nicknames to recurring characters in my life. Obviously this is going to be a work in progress and there will be terrible posts like this where I grumble something about time zones and then explain something very simple in a long run on paragraph, but that's how I get down.

The city of wind. Indeed. It is markedly colder than NYC which leads me to this next point (my first point?) which is that despite my strong desire to leave the city, there will be things about it that I will miss. Thai Food. The Subway. West Side Market. Lemon (introduction of the first character - possibly the funniest girl in the world). The Library for the Performing Arts. Fat Cat (greatest bar in the world). The West Village. Francine (I'm cheating here - this is actually Prudence's sister, also called 'Francine,' which makes her like Frasier only if Cheers was still on while Fraiser was). There are probably a few other things that will come out but that's all I got for now.

So I move in a couple of weeks. Actually on the 1st which might be the worst time ever to move due to Halloween being the night before but we'll see what happens. I'm hoping I can move a day sooner and get it over with rather than drag it out over a whole weekend. Moving is the worst. Anyways, that's all for now. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

oh ps:
tfln - (718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. "

Top 5 Shows...

With the fall season pretty much in full swing I figure it's time to post my favorite shows of the fall thus far and I must say that this season has been full of surprises. With the anticipation of tomorrow's premiere of 30 Rock, I can hardly contain myself. Never in all my blogging years have sitcoms so fully dominated the list. Without further dilly dallying, here it is:

5.) Cougar Town / Modern Family

So obviously these shows aren't the same, but as they come on the same day, same channel and in a row, I don't really feel bad putting them together. They really would have had their own spots if not for Glee. If you read my blog at all you know I'm not a huge fan of sitcoms and find them to usually teeter somewhere between bad and Two and Half Men (heinous), but these shows are great. Cougar Town is co-created by Bill Lawrence who also helmed Scrubs (which explains the comedy style) and Modern Family is just flat out funny. Check them out on Wed on ABC (or on Hulu like the rest of us who don't watch tv).

4.) Glee

Love this show. You either love it or hate it and if you don't know anything about it go on Hulu and watch the season premiere and either you'll love it or hate it as well. I saw Lea Michelle in Spring Awakening (worst musical I've ever seen) and think she's pretty much the bomb, though her screen acting leaves you waiting until she hones her skill.

3.) Monk

If you haven't seen this show by now, you're either not interested or don't like it. But this season is the final season and it's going out with a bang. The episodes are hilarious and they are hopefully leading up to a 2 or 3 part season finale where Monk finally finds out who murdered his wife and he can be at peace.

2.) 30 Rock

Possibly the funniest show in television history. I'm not speaking in superlatives. Tina Fey is ridiculous. She's my hero and inspiration (and I've kind of met her). If you haven't seen the show ever, or only a couple of episodes then, like so many other things in life, go on Hulu and make your life better. For those of you with netflix, hop on and watch season 3 in full on instant view. The only reason this isn't number 1 is because I've been watching my number 1 longer and it means more to me sentimentally (but not by much at all - in fact this is insanely close).



1.) Psych

Best show on TV. Barely. This season started out pretty slowly - I wasn't very impressed with the first couple episodes but since then it's really taken off. I'm a little upset at how little screen time both Maggie Lawson and Rachael Leigh Cook have had, but other than that Gus has been hilarious this season.



Anyways, that's it. Go watch all of these shows instead of wasting your time with your friends, or reading, or volunteering or working. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

One Two Three...

Since Sylvia stopped blogging, I'm going to steal her multiple thought format which I've been eyeing for a while.

One

I'm currently at my parents house in Michigan on my way to Chicago tomorrow and I feel like I'm 8 years old again. My mom is yelling at me and I have a lot of errands to do which are basically chores. So yesterday some guy calls and we have the following conversation:
Dude: "Hey, is your dad home?"
Me: "No, he's not. May I take a message?"
Dude: "Oh he's not? Well is he at work?"
Me: "Yes."
Dude: "Well is your mom there?"
Me: "No, she's at work too, but I can leave them a message for you."
Dude: She is?!?! Well that's great! That's a really good thing! I guess I'll just try your dad at work then."

First of all, I'm 27. Most people don't call and say, "is your dad there," they mistake me for my dad. My balls dropped a while back and I don't sound like a 9 year old girl anymore. Second, I started to feel like a little kid again by breaking the cardinal rule of letting a stranger know both my parents weren't home. I should have responded, "Yes, my mom is home but I think she's in the shower right now - hold on [fake muffle phone] {fake yell} Mommmmmm? Mom! No sorry sir, she's still in there but I can have her call you back when she gets out" Those sneaky bastards always fall for that one. Lastly, of course they're at work. It's 1pm on a Tuesday - where are they supposed to be. Granted he could have meant it was great because of the economic conditions but this sounded more of a genuine surprise that two adults could be working at the same time in the middle of the week.

Two

Eye-care retail stores are the new car dealerships. I went in to get some new glasses today because mine are five years old and I see like a bat in the middle of a desert at midday. So I see a nice new trendy frame that make me look like an unstoppable force of good looking and decide I need them. They are only $219 and they're also 30% off! Okay, how much is the eye exam? $54? I can handle that. $200 for the glasses and the exam - that sounds like a steal. So I get the eye exam and they keep trying to sell me on getting my eyes dilated. Not to sound like a snob but if anyone is dilating my eyes it's going to be an Opthamologist and not an Optometrist and it definitely won't be at the mall. So anyway, after successfully refusing to let them charge me extra on doing random things during my exam it comes time to buy my glasses.

So I grab the frames and give them to the counter lady and she says okay have a seat and lets take a look. I sit down, somewhat worried she might try and make out with me after she sees me with them on, and she starts with her routine. "Okay so what kind of lenses do you want?" Now, this is the first time I've tried to get glasses or contacts without eye insurance so I never paid attention to the cost of these things or everything that went into it. So I say, "You mean the lenses don't come with the glasses?" "No, this price is just for the frames." So then I have to pick out lenses. Apparently the cheap ones really suck. So I get the second 'cheapest' I can. $125. I can handle that I guess - they're also 30% off. So then I say okay well whats the total now? Something more than 200 that's for sure.

Then she tells me that I might want to get the lenses with the anti-glare non reflection coating. I say in my head, "That sounds like a car salesman selling me undercoating or rustproofing." So she tells me that my current glasses have the same lenses and if I don't get them I'll look like a big douche wearing sunglass lenses in my regular frames. So I make a lot of gestures and sigh a lot because this will be an additional $80. I flap my arms and ask her how bad it would look and she says, "well if you're making an investment into nice frames you might as well get these - they'll look better and help you see better at night." She pretty much said either get the ones on clearance like you should, or be the baller I know you are and get the coated lenses. So I bite and go for the special lenses. Then she rings me up and the total is something egregious like $350 or something and so I pay and afterwards she tells me that they don't have the lenses in right now (the ones she just goaded me into buying) and that it'll take up to two weeks. I sigh and shrug and leave dejected. But in two weeks, look out because I'm coming with my glasses blazing.

Three

Are my brother and I the only people in the world left who buy cds? iTunes is ruining my life. On one hand, it's great for music I can't find in stores or download illegally. On the other hand, there are so many different versions of albums that come out, I am forced to buy the one on iTunes. Case in point - Everclear is one of my favorite bands. Yesterday they had a new album come out. I was very excited because even though it was just new recordings of their old hits, it had a few new songs and one of my favorite songs of theirs that is not on any album. So after checking the track listing on iTunes I go to the store to buy it. As I'm in line to check out, I notice the track that I love isn't on it. So I get pissed and go back and none of the cds have the extra song. So I go home and check and sure enough it's only on iTunes and only for purchase if you get the whole album. So I bought it off iTunes and raised my arm to the sky and shook it at Steve Jobs.

My problem with it is that while I like the ease and convenience and overall quality of iTunes, I love cds. I grew up buying cds. I love them. I love opening them up and taking off the sticker and taking it out of the case for the first time and looking at the cover art. You know what I hate? Downloading an album, burning it onto a cd, because my iPhone is only 8 gigs and is full and writing the band name and album title in my sh*tty handwriting. I hate burned cds that aren't mixes. It's lame. But you win some, you lose some I guess.

I'm out for a bit. Busy weekend ahead. I'll try and get to you sometime. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder

Ode to Sunday...

For my money Sunday is the best day of the week. It seems like a lot of people are huge fans of Friday and Saturday, but if you ask me the name says it all; and on the seventh day god said, let this day of funny pages and sleeping-in be named after the great warm feeling of the sun. And so Sunday was made specifically to be spent hanging out.

I get the allure of Friday - end of the work week (unless you work on the weekends) and it's the start of two and a half days off. People go out, movies are released, you can stay up as late as you want and still have two days to recover - it's a great day. And Saturday, doesn't get a whole lot better than that. Wake up late, do whatever you want with whoever you want, hang out at night and be reckless.

A lot of people (pessimists) see Sunday as the last day before the week begins. They dread Sunday because it means you have to start to buckle down and get ready for another week of workin for the money. But not this guy. To me Sunday is the Thanksgiving of weekdays. As many of you may have heard me say before, Thanksgiving is hands down the best holiday of the year. It's all the Christmas spirit (friends, family, getting together, giving thanks, appreciating life) without the commercialization of it. It's all about family without gifts and getting together just to see each other. Same goes with Sunday. It's all about relaxing. Getting up whenever, brunch (who doesn't love brunch), watching the Lions (another reason I love Thanksgiving so much) and hanging out. No one feels the need to get dolled up and booze it up, people just want to relax and hang out. You really can't beat that.

Not sure why I'm bringing this up on a Tuesday, but when this weekend rolls around, let me know what the best day of it was and hopefully you shallow losers realize that Sunday is where the party's at, not where the Bacardi at. I'm out. Go big or go home.

-M, p, z & shredder